


Visa to Love

by vasande88



Series: Visa to Love [1]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, My First Fanfic, New York City, POV Third Person, Photography, Slow Burn, Smut, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-11-05 19:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 82,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vasande88/pseuds/vasande88
Summary: Therese Belivet is a young girl born and raised in the Czech Republic. After her parents die she's left with enough money to make her dream come true: go to New York City to study photography. Her visa will only allow her to stay for a year.One night on her way back home on the bus she sets eyes on the most beautiful blonde woman she had ever seen. This mysterious woman leaves her gloves behind. Will Therese be able to find her again in the big city?Will Therese be able to stay by the end of the year?





	1. Therese

Therese was born and raised in the Czech Republic, in a small town just outside Prague. She was an only child. The house she grew in was very big, maybe too big for just three people, but it was full of light. The best part was the back garden; it was a wide-open space with lots of trees. Her mother Anna had a small garden with the most beautiful flowers, especially red roses, her favorite. Her father Tomáš was a builder, but in his free time he loved taking pictures of little Therese, or his “little mouse” as he would call her (because of the way she grabbed her food and the noise she made). One of his favorite photos was of Therese and Anna by the rose bush that had just bloomed that spring. He also had a big love for music, especially musicals. Before bedtime, she and her father would sit together in his big chair and listen to the biggest Broadway musical productions like “The Phantom of the Opera”, while he talked about the wonderful and majestic city of New York, the city that never sleeps.

“One day when you’re big enough, little mouse, we’ll go together and watch these musicals together … and we’ll walk under the light of Broadway …”

“Promise me, Dad?”

“Yes little mouse, I promise.”

 

When she was around seven years old, her parents died unexpectedly in a car accident. They were coming from a party late at night. The police had said that her father had fallen asleep behind the wheel. Therese was staying with a neighbor the night it happened. Since she had no close family to take care of her, she stayed under the neighbor’s care for a couple of days until social services came for her. Then, she was sent to a girls orphanage run by Catholic nuns in Prague. With just a few belongings, she arrived at the old three-story building: the first floor had a huge kitchen and dining room area, as well as a big spacious room where lessons were held. The second floor had the girls’ rooms and the third the nuns’. The inside of the house was dark and it smelled old, so different from home. Life had changed so drastically for Therese in just a few days: she was now alone in a new city, in a new place and with strange people. She stopped smiling or talking. Most days she didn’t want to leave her room, which she shared with another girl around her age, but when she did get out she would be found in the garden by herself. She would only allow herself a few tears because she knew her father wouldn’t want her to cry.

 

The only two things Therese was able to keep from her parents were a rose pin from her mother and her father’s camera. It was one of those regular 35mm analogue cameras, meant for photography beginners. When she became old enough to manipulate it, she would spend hours and hours taking pictures of nature. “Therese, get back inside or you’ll freeze to death!”, “Therese it’s already dark — come back inside!” the nuns would yell to her every time. She always lost track of time when she was with her camera. Summer sunsets were her favorite to capture in color, while tree trunks, birds and leaves were her favorite in black and white for their texture and detail. Having the film developed wasn’t easy of course, but if she had been extra good in class or had helped around the house she would be granted a trip downtown to get them developed. She kept all the pictures in a shoebox because she didn’t share them with the rest of the girls in case they damaged them. It was difficult to have personal things in an orphanage, where it was common to share clothes, toys and space. Her photographs were her only private thing.

Photography quickly became her passion. She felt safe behind the lens of her camera, as she could be part of the world around her without having to be in the center of it. Nature made her feel comfortable when people made her nervous.

“Why don’t you take my picture, Therese? Look, I can pose for you like those stars on TV!” one of the girls would say.

“Uhm sorry, I just run out of film. Next time!” would always be Therese’s reply.

She never took their pictures because she felt like she was invading their personal space. Her father, however, was so charming and had the most sparkling green eyes you had ever seen; no one could say no to him. Therese had inherited his green eyes but they lacked that sparkle. Aside from photography, she also spent her time learning English. She was determined to teach herself, for she wanted to visit the city her father was so in love with one day. But before that became even remotely real, she would have to work so hard for it.

 

On her 18th birthday, Therese had a small little party with the nuns and the girls she was closer to. She didn’t like birthday parties since it reminded her of another year without her parents, but this one was special. She had cake and presents, and she was even allowed to watch her favorite movie from her childhood: “The Wizard of Oz”. It was a bittersweet day, since she would soon have to leave the orphanage and start a job at the local library. She was excited about this new chapter in her life, but she was also scared. The orphanage, the nuns, and the girls had been the closest to a family she had ever had and she was going to miss it. On the next day, she received a visit from a lawyer.

“Therese Belivet?” asked the man in a suit holding a briefcase.

“Yes, that’s me. Sorry, I don’t understand …” said Therese with a confused look.

“I am here to inform you that you are now in legal possession of an amount of money your father left for you.”

“What?! I’m sorry, there must be a mistake,” said Therese almost catching her breath.

“If you are indeed Therese Belivet then there’s no mistake. We couldn’t tell you until you had turned 18, and since you recently have … Look, all you have to do is sign these papers and you will officially become entitled to the money. You can start a new life.”

 

All of this came as a huge surprise to Therese. She didn’t remember her parents being that wealthy, but how could she know, she had been so young to understand when it all happened. The amount she was going to receive was good enough to start a new life anywhere she wanted … and she knew exactly where: New York City, her father’s favorite place in the world.

 

With a little help from the internet that she accessed from the library, she searched for the best photography schools in New York City, finally setting on the International Center of Photography. They claimed to be proud to have more than half of their students coming from abroad, so Therese thought she wouldn’t feel so out of place there. The next step was to learn how to get a student visa to be able to enter the United States. She reached out to the same lawyer that came with the news in order to help her with all the forms and requirements needed. It took around three months for the final approval to arrive. Because of this, she missed the application deadline for the spring course, so she had to apply for next fall. Everything was set. A new life was waiting around the corner. On her last night at the orphanage, she let herself cry, but this time they were happy tears. “I’m coming, Dad. Wait for me.”


	2. New beginning

Therese arrived in New York City in mid-September, just a few weeks before her school term began. She had never been on a plane before, nor boat or train, having spent most of her life in the orphanage. Nobody had told her that the plane ride was going to be bumpy, and long! Therese spent the whole trip to New York City praying the plane wouldn’t fall down, and luckily it didn’t. As the plane started its landing by tilting to the side, Therese hold her breath at the closer view of this majestic city, with its little islands, its tall buildings, busy streets, and greens; it was more magical than what her father had described to her. There, in one of those streets, was the key to a new life, a new beginning, and she was about to get it.

  
  
After getting through all the airport chaos, Therese stepped out into the chill afternoon air, and taking a deep breath, she said to herself, “I’m home.” She was carrying just one big suitcase containing some winter clothes (she decided to set for what was immediate), and a small bag with personal things such as her father’s camera, pictures, and documents. She hailed for a taxi that was approaching the sidewalk. The driver must have seen how small and scared she looked, for he got out of the car to help her get the luggage in the trunk. When she got in the back seat, she noticed the radio was on. It was playing a song she had never heard before, which wasn’t a surprise since all her music knowledge consisted of Broadway musicals and religious music. She felt so outdated, so she decided to pay attention to the lyrics:

 _In New York,_  
_Concrete jungle where dreams are made of_  
_There's nothin' you can't do_  
_Now you're in New York_  
_These streets will make you feel brand new_  
_Big lights will inspire you_  
_Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York..._

  
It could have been the exhaustion of the trip, or the stress and nervousness or a combination of everything, but as the words were hitting her ears, Therese started to sob uncontrollably. Every word in that song was hitting close to home. It was as if this singer was welcoming Therese and telling her that everything was going to be all right. The taxi driver couldn’t help but notice what was going on in the back seat.

“Hey Miss, are you OK?”

“Yes, yes. I’m sorry ... ” she said between sobs, “... it’s just that ... this song is singing about my life.”

“How so?” asked the driver.

“I just came to this city to start a new life, to make my dreams come true. And I was feeling so scared but now ... this song is like telling me everything is going to be OK.”

“Well, you’re certainly not the only one. I’ve been in your shoes before and I know how it feels to start from zero in a different country. But let me tell you, if you have your heart in the right place everything will work out. Wish I had had a song to make me feel welcomed like that!” he said with a laugh.

 

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Therese couldn’t stop staring out the window, looking at each building appearing in front of her. The architecture was so different from home, a mixture between old and new. As they were approaching the Upper East side, where Therese had found a cheap little apartment to rent for the next year, she realized she didn’t have a cellphone with her to call the landlord and let him know she was about to arrive. She gathered all her strength and asked the very kind driver if he could lend her his, which he did. The landlord told her that he was out running some errands at the moment but he had left the key under the mat so she could get in. After returning the phone, she made a mental note to get a phone as soon as possible. When they finally arrived, the driver helped her get the suitcase out of the trunk. Since it was a three-story building, he asked her if she wanted him to carry the things inside. Therese, already feeling bad for having to ask for the phone, said it was OK, and she gave him a nice tip. “Good luck, young lady! And if you ever need help, here’s my card. Take care!” Therese took the card from his hands and smiled at him as he got back in the car.

 

Her apartment was on the third floor. She barely made it to the first floor carrying the heavy suitcase up the stairs, along with her bag. She stopped for a second to catch her breath. She didn’t notice the man approaching the stairs so when he got behind her Therese jumped when he asked her if she was OK.

“Hey there, you look like you need some help. Where’s your apartment?” he said with a friendly smile.

“That would be so nice of you. I’m in 3A”

“Well, it seems you’re in luck because I’m in 3C so that’s where I’m heading!”  
  
He grabbed the big suitcase and together they walked the rest of the stairs in silence. Therese was relieved to have finally arrived at her door, as the silence had been kind of awkward.

“So ... ” the young man said, “here we are. I’m Dannie, by the way. If you ever need any help I’m just two doors down!”

“That’s so kind of you. I’m Therese … Therese Belivet,” she said as she shook his hand.

“That’s a cool name! You’re not from here, right? I mean your accent ... it’s kinda cute.”

Therese’s cheeks went red at the mention of her accent. “I come from the Czech Republic. I came here to study photography,” she said, looking at her feet while rubbing her right arm.

“Well, that’s impressive! I’d love to see your work one day … I better let you get settled now. See you around, Therese Belivet!” he said as he walked towards the end of the hall.

“Oh please call me Therese ... or Terry,” she said with a shy smile. “See you around!” she waved at him.

Therese opened the door to what was going to be her new home for the next twelve months (and longer, she hoped). The apartment consisted of one bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and a living room. It was furnished and equipped with the basics, and the decoration had a 50’s vintage feel to it (which Therese loved), except for the TV and kitchen appliances that were modern. Therese loved it; it was definitely an upgrade from her shared room at the orphanage. Here she could have her photographs on full display, which she was planning to do as soon as she finished settling. But for now, after a long day consisting of crossing continents and all the emotions it had brought with it, Therese was more than ready to take a nice warm LONG bath and hit the sack. As she was lying in bed, she couldn’t help but think how much her life had changed in less than 24-hours. Until that lawyer had shown up with those papers, her dream to come to New York City had been just that, a dream, but now it was real. For most people, being alone in a new country should be one of the scariest things to do, but for some reason Therese felt less alone than at the orphanage. She knew in her heart that her father had been guiding her all the way until this very moment, giving her the courage to take each step. For the first time since that horrible night, Therese wasn’t alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned in this chapter is "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys. Here's the link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bg07O96EpU
> 
> Hope you like this new chapter! Thank you for all the lovely comments I've received so far, they sure made me feel inspired to write more!


	3. City of Lights

Therese woke in the afternoon the next day. The trip and all the excitement that came with it had really taken a toll on her. As her stomach started to grumble, she realized how hungry she was. She hadn’t had anything for dinner the previous night. She remembered she still had some chocolate cookies in her bag that she had bought at the duty free. She got out of bed and desperately searched for them. After eating the few remaining ones and still feeling hungry, her mouth got dry. She headed to the kitchen to get some water from the sink but when she was about to open the tap she thought she didn’t know if the water was drinkable and realized how little she knew about the country she now called home. She decided to check the fridge just in case and was happy to find a bottle of water. She hadn’t seen until now the bowl of fruit that was on the counter next to the fridge. It had a little note saying:

“Welcome, Therese. I’m in apartment 1A if you need anything. Adam, your landlord.”

She grabbed an apple and started chewing on it while she picked up a piece of paper and a pen to start making a list of the things she NEEDED to get done that day, one of them being grocery shopping. Now that she wasn’t at the orphanage anymore, she had to get things done on her own. The list read:

GROCERIES  
LUNCH  
PHONE  
  
Once dressed, she realized she didn’t know how to get around in the city to get all those things on her list done. She remembered the taxi card the man had given her but she thought it would be silly to bother him on a Saturday afternoon. She then thought of Dannie, who was just two doors down. She was surprised at how determined she was to get out of the door to walk towards door 3C. Just a week ago she would have hesitated and stopped herself from doing anything, but now she had a newfound courage. She knocked on the door, quickly regretting the idea that had brought her there, and when she was about to turn around, the door opened.

“Hi Therese, so nice to see you again! How did you sleep?”

“Oh hi! Good, good ... I don’t remember falling asleep in the first place … guess I was that tired!” she said with a giggle.

“I bet you were. It’s not every day that you get to cross continents to start a new life,” he said with a playful wink.

“Yeah, I guess so. About that … I was wondering if you could give me any directions on how to get downtown. I need to get some things and I don’t know how to get there,” she said as she looked down to the floor.

“Oh, of course I can help! Actually, I’m free right now. My boyfriend didn’t call back so I guess he ain’t gettin’ any of this tonight… ” he said with a cheeky tone.

Therese stayed there confused for a second by what he had just said about his “friend” but she quickly brushed it off. _Must be some language interference_ , she thought.

“Let me get a coat and let’s go, girl!” He turned around to get back in, and two minutes later, they were walking down the stairs.

“What do you need to get? So I can see which direction we must go …”

“Uhm … well first I was thinking about getting something for lunch. I only had an apple and some cookies for breakfast. Well, not breakfast exactly…”

“Say no more, there’s this nice little Italian place just three blocks away. I’m sure you’re gonna love it! Did you have Italian back in your country?” he asked, linking his arm under hers as they started to walk.

“Not much, really. We just had what the nuns cooked for us.”

“Wait … what?!” he interrupted. “Where did you grow up?”

Therese suddenly stopped walking, her eyes glued on her shoes. “I - I grew up in an orphanage… a Catholic orphanage …my parents died in a car accident when I was still a child …”

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, Therese! I didn’t know…” Dannie’s expression got serious. It was a surprise for Therese to see him like that.

“Oh don’t be, it’s OK. It’s been so long now. I can barely remember them. If it wasn’t for the picture I still have of my mother and I, I would have forgotten all about her by now. Unfortunately, it’s not the same with my father. He never took pictures of himself. But sometimes when I close my eyes I see him. I see those bright green eyes looking at me.”

There was a silence and when Therese looked back at Dannie again, she saw tears falling down his face.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to… ” she said as she desperately searched for a tissue in her bag. She found her handkerchief that had her initials embroidered in it and handed it to Dannie to clean his tears.

“OH MY GOD! What is this?” he said as he grabbed the handkerchief and examined it like something from another planet. “From which century are you, strange girl?” he said smiling.

“Hahaha! Very funny,” and she gave him a light punch on his arm.

They resumed the walk in silence, until they arrived at the restaurant. Therese ordered “the best pasta she had ever eaten in her life” (which wasn’t hard since it was indeed her first one ever). After eating, they took the bus downtown to get the rest of the items on the list. Dannie showed her street names and key places to help her get used to the new city. He took them to an Apple store, of course. Therese told Dannie she didn’t need such extravagance since she didn’t know how to use them anyway, but he insisted she should get the latest iPhone model and a laptop.

“Therese, these are the best computers for photo and video editing. You’ll need one for school and hopefully for jobs to come. See it as an investment for your future!”

“If you put it like that … I will need something to work on my assignments.”  
  
Even though she still had most of the money her father had left her, she knew she had to spend it wisely. But Dannie was right, she needed to upgrade. The store itself with all that technology was overwhelming for her. In which century have I been living? What is all this?

Dannie must have sensed her panic. “Don’t worry Terry, I’ll help you in your transit into the 21st century,” he said laughing.

After they left the store, they decided to take a taxi back home since they were carrying expensive things with them. Once back in Therese’s apartment, Dannie gave her the phone number of a supermarket that did delivery, so they ordered some food for Therese to start filling the fridge and pantry. She didn’t know how to cook, only the basics, since the nuns had always been around the kitchen. She would have to learn now. Dannie spent the rest of the afternoon teaching Therese how to use her phone and laptop, just the basics such as internet and setting up an email address. Therese was so surprised with the camera on her phone. She no longer had to wait for the film to be developed in order to see the final result, but still she preferred that special something only film had. They spent the rest of the evening eating and taking “selfies”. Therese went to bed exhausted again but in a different way. Were all her days in New York City going to be this exciting?

* * *

  
On the following Friday, just a week after she had arrived in the city, Therese was on her way back from going to see “The Phantom of the Opera” on Broadway. She was proud for getting the tickets online all by herself. She wanted to ask Dannie to come with her, after everything he had done for her so far she wanted to thank him, but she knew in her heart she had to go alone. It had been her father’s dream to take her, so now she was going for both of them. The arrival at Broadway Street itself had been extremely emotional for Therese: all those lights her father had described to her, they were true. Huge illuminated billboards competing amongst each other to be the brightest. Therese couldn’t process it all. The musical was everything she had hoped for and more. Watching it in person was a sublime experience. The music she had listened to so many times as a child finally came alive that night. She couldn’t stop tears from falling throughout the play, just thinking how badly she wished her father was there with her.  
  
After the musical was over, she decided to take the bus back home since it wasn’t that late at night. Fortunately, the bus didn’t take long to arrive and it was almost empty except for a couple in the back. People seemed to be getting back home and just a few going the opposite way. She chose to sit on the left side of the bus near the entrance. With her head resting on the window, she let herself get lost in her thoughts and emotions. She didn’t notice the woman in a red coat who had stepped in and sat transversally to her two rows further. Her hypnotic [perfume ](https://static.chemistwarehouse.com.au/ams/media/productimages/73412/original.jpg)hit Therese first, shaking her from her thoughts. She followed the fragrance with her head until she locked her eyes on the woman. She could only see her profile as she was looking down at her phone, for which Therese was thankful because otherwise she would have seen her jaw dropping. She had to remind herself how to breathe again. Therese didn’t understand why her body was reacting like that. She only knew this woman in red was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

She tried to compose herself, so she shook her body abruptly, but that motion only made the woman look up her way. She smiled at Therese, almost as if she found her reaction amusing and hilarious. Therese wanted to disappear like the Phantom of the Opera himself; she couldn’t bear to have such beauty looking straight at her. The woman had the most astonishing, ice-piercing blue eyes, and the brightest curled blonde hair. She looked like a Broadway star, with that elegance and beauty. Therese felt her cheeks heating up so she turned her face to her window and fixed her eyes on the dark streets. _What’s wrong with me? Why am I staring at her? She must think I’m some kind of weirdo_ , Therese said to herself. She didn’t dare to look back at the woman.

After a few minutes that felt more like ages, the mysterious woman got up and approached the back door of the bus. She passed Therese on her way, leaving a trail of her delicious perfume behind her. Still with her eyes fixed on the streets, Therese heard the bus stop and the doors open and close again. Only when the bus started to move again, Therese looked back to the front where the woman had been sitting just minutes before. Her eyes focused on a brown pair of gloves resting on the seat.  _She must have taken them off to type on her phone_ , Therese thought. She looked behind her to double check if her mysterious woman was still standing behind her. Only the same couple remained on the bus, who were lost in their own little world. Feeling nervous about what she was about to do, she took a deep breath, stood up and walked to the front of the bus. The perfume still lingered in the air where the woman had been sitting. Therese grabbed the gloves, sat down and put them inside the pocket of her coat, all in a swift move. She waited there still until it was time to get off at her stop. _What am I doing? Would this be considered stealing? Am I going to be deported for this?_ She couldn’t explain the feeling but she just knew that she had to hold onto those gloves for dear life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I've barely slept the past days, totally overtaken by this story. Must be Mercury Retrograde feeding me with these creative juices! 
> 
> I hope you like this one. I wanted to put it out before I start university again tomorrow. I hope it won't mess with my writing schedule. Let me know what you think of this one :)


	4. With a little help from my friends

When Therese got back to her apartment, she texted Dannie to let him know she had made it back safe. She was still new to this whole reporting back thing; with her parents gone and growing up in an orphanage where she barely made it out, she never had someone worrying about her when she went out late. She loved this feeling she had now, having Dannie looking after her like a big brother. Her phone vibrated with a new incoming message. “You better tell me everything tomorrow! Sleep tight. -Dannie”. Therese smiled. She went to the fridge to get some of the leftover food from lunch. She still had to improve on the cooking field, but that Italian place Dannie had taken her was just too good to resist. Therese sat at the couch to eat. She stared at the black TV screen while she took some lasagna bites into her mouth, her mind taking her back to the bus. _Why can’t I stop thinking about this woman? She is just an ordinary woman. No, she isn’t Therese, or you wouldn’t be sitting here still thinking about her. But why? Her eyes, those deep blue eyes that felt like they were piercing through me, into my soul. I’ve never been looked at like that … making me feel like I was the only one left in the world. And her perfume, oh God! That sweet, strong and feminine scent…it was all her_.

 

When Therese was about to grab another piece of lasagna she realized there was nothing left. She shook herself out of her thoughts and got up and walked to the kitchen to leave the empty plate in the sink. Like still in some kind of trance, she went to the bathroom, took off her clothes and got in the shower. She hoped a nice warm shower would relax her and clear her head. Then she changed into her pajamas and slipped into her bedsheets. She laid down with her eyes looking up the ceiling, feeling like something was missing. She got out of bed, walked to the living room and stopped at the chair where her coat was. She grabbed it and put her hand in the left front pocket and her fingers closed on the soft leather. She went back to bed, placing the gloves on the other side of the bed. She laid on her side with her hands curled in her chest and stared at them until her eyes started to close. She could still smell her perfume.

  
The next morning, Therese woke up around noon. She thought she should really start trying to get up earlier since she would be starting school the following week. When she was about to head to the bathroom she heard a knock on her door. She grabbed a blanket and put it around her shoulders. She opened the door and it was Dannie. He was carrying some bag of foods.

“Hey sleeping beauty! I thought we could have brunch while you tell me all about last night.”

“Brunch?” Therese asked as she let Dannie in. He placed the food on the coffee table and sat on the couch.

“Yeah, it’s a late breakfast kinda lunch thing … and it looks like you haven’t had any of those yet so …”

“That’s genius!” Therese sat next to Dannie and they started to open the bags. He had brought some sandwiches, sausages, pancakes, fruits and juices.

“So tell me, how was the musical?”

“Oh Dannie, it was magical! It was bigger than I ever imagined. The music live with the actors on stage … it was breathtaking. I didn’t know where to look! There was so much going on. When I listened to the music with my father, it was just that, the music. But seeing it live … I still can’t process everything …”

“I’m so happy to hear that, Terry! Hey … what’s wrong?” Dannie asked as he saw Therese looking down at her hands, a single tear falling into them.

“It’s just that I wished that my father could have been there with me. It was his favorite musical … and he promised he would take me to see it one day …” Therese wiped her eyes before looking back at Dannie.

“Oh Terry I’m so sorry … but I’m sure he was there with you in spirit … and he must be so happy for you for having seen it.” Dannie gave her a tight hug.

“I know I know … I’ll be fine …” Therese said as she looked to her left side, focusing on the floor.

Dannie placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a light shake so she would focus on him again. “Hey, what else is going on in that head of yours?”

Therese went stiff for a moment, as images of the woman on the bus crossed her mind. She tried to play it cool so she shook Dannie’s hands away. “It’s nothing really … it’s stupid …”

“If it’s stupid then it’s something. You know you can tell me anything Terry, I won’t judge. I’m here to help.”

With a lot of hesitation, Therese started to recap what had happened on the bus.

“A-and I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. Why I can’t stop thinking about her. I kept her gloves, Dannie. Why?”

“Terry dear, you have what young kids call today: a crush.”

“A what? An accident?”

“Nonono, that’s “crash” with an “a”, but now that I think of it it’s kinda the same … a violent collision of emotions …wow deep … anyway, what I’m saying is that you have developed a sort of attraction towards this woman … which is totally normal. I’ve had many crushes before … both men and women.”

Therese’s cheeks turned red at the mention of this. She wanted to ask more but she wasn’t sure how. Dannie seemed to read her mind.

“You do know about men who like men … and women who like women, right?” asked Dannie.

“Yeah … kind of … I mean, it’s not like I could ask about it at the orphanage. Some of the girls would talk about it and sometimes I would see men walking hand in hand on the streets. The nuns reacted as if they had seen the devil himself.”

“Well, let me tell you something, Terry: it’s 2016 and everybody's free to love whoever they want and, most recently, marry. I told you about my boyfriend Tom. But before him, there was Linda. I’m bisexual, you see. I’m attracted to both genders, but mostly I’m attracted to people. But there are women who are only attracted to women and they are called lesbians, or men who like men are gay… And pansexuals who …” Therese sat there speechless with her mouth half open, trying to process everything Dannie was telling her.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s a lot of information that I’m throwing at you. I’m just trying to tell you that you’re free to feel attracted to whoever you want. Whatever they told you at orphanage, it’s not true. Don’t feel scared or ashamed of what you’re feeling for this woman. I’m happy to see you opening up to new things.” Dannie took Therese’s hand and gave it a squeeze. She gave him a big smile and squeezed it back.

“Anyway, I have no idea who she is or if I’ll ever see her again so this all may be nothing,” said Therese.

“You never know what’s gonna happen. Just stay open to things, OK? Now, let’s continue eating … and while we’re at it, let me show you what freedom and diversity looks like.” Dannie grabbed the remote control to turn on the TV. He launched Netflix and logged in with his account. “This reminds me, Terry. I have to make you an account.” He went to his list and picked the first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

“This is one of my favorite shows. Drag Queens are men who dress up like women to entertain. That’s the simple explanation. The truth is they are artists. They each represent a character, a bigger version of themselves; they are fearless and they express that confidence through makeup and clothes. Some of them even sing and dance. They are proud of who they are ... and so should you be,” he said, looking at Therese and giving her a wink. They binge-watched the entire first season.

* * *

  
It was now Thursday, only three days before Therese was to start school. She was already starting to get nervous about it. She wasn’t very good at being around strange people or making friends. Dannie really had been a blessing. She was looking at the few clothes hanging in her closet. She hadn’t been able to bring much with her, and in the past weeks she didn’t care about wearing almost the same things every day. But now that she was about to start school, she wanted to make an effort and look good, to make a good impression. She grabbed her phone to text Dannie.

Therese: SCHOOL STARTS ON MONDAY AND I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR … I’VE OFFICIALLY HAD IT!

Dannie: CALM DOWN, BEYONCÉ! I’m coming!  
  
After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. Therese ran to the door to open it and was surprised to see that Dannie wasn’t alone. He was standing there with another man.

“Terry, this is Tom, my boyfriend. I thought it was about time for you two to meet. Plus, he works at H&M so who better to help you with your fashion crisis.”

“Oh hi there. I’m so sorry, please come in.” They stepped in. “So nice to meet you Tom.” They shook hands.

“Nice to finally meet you. Dannie has told me so much about you.”

“Oh really?” Therese slightly blushed and smiled.

“If he wasn’t so gay for me I would be jealous of you!” he said, laughing. Therese didn’t know what to say so she looked at her feet.

“Don’t be mean!” said Dannie, giving Tom a punch on his arm. “We are here to help Terry.”

“I know. I was just kidding. What are you needing, Terry? How can I help you?”

“Well, I basically need a new wardrobe. I could only bring a few things with me. Now that I’m going to start school, I want to look like the rest of the students.”

“Yeah, she does need an update in the clothes department,” said Dannie sarcastically. Therese stuck her tongue out at him and crossed her arms like a child.

They went to different stores, including H&M. Tom picked some comfortable but chic feminine clothes for Therese: black denim jeans, black pants, basic t-shirts, a laced top, a classic white shirt, sweatshirts in different neutral colors and textures. He also picked a cute long black dress and a jacket to go with it. For shoes, they went with some ankle boots, sneakers and flats. He also got her some accessories to go with everything. Dannie told her she would also need some makeup to go with her new look, so they hit Sephora. They got the basics like mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and blush. Her skin was so flawless that she didn’t need much. They got some foundation and powder just for special occasions. After three hours of shopping, they returned home. Therese was so excited with her new clothes and things she could barely contain her excitement in front of Dannie and Tom. They helped her get the bags in her room. When she was about to thank them for everything Dannie interrupted her.

“You think you’re done, Miss? We need to do something with your hair.”

“MY HAIR? What’s wrong with it?” asked Therese, looking at it. Her hair was light brown, straight and thin. It fell past her shoulder, so she normally wore it parted in the middle and in a low ponytail. She never had done anything exciting to it.

“It’s just … boring. You need something fresh, something cute. You have that classic 50s kinda face … I don’t know, I’m getting some Audrey Hepburn vibes. What do you think, Tom?”

“Oh yes … I can totally see it. Please Terry, you gotta trust Dannie on this one. If you didn’t know, Dannie is a great hairdresser. He knows what he’s doing.”

“How do you feel about some bangs?”

Therese started to breathe heavy, still holding her hair. “I- I don’t know …”  
  
“Here, let me show you.” Dannie showed her some images of short hair with sided bangs. He explained how he would do it to fit her face. He proposed to cut it a little above the shoulders, so it wouldn’t be that much of a change. Therese took a deep breath and agreed with her head. Dannie jumped in excitement and ran to his apartment to get the tools he would need. He washed Therese’s hair in the bathtub. Then they went to the kitchen and Therese sat on a stool. She sat as still as possible, but she was shaking. She closed her eyes because she didn’t want to see how much hair Dannie was cutting. But she trusted him. After minutes that felt like ages, Dannie blow-dried her hair.

“C’mon. Let’s go to the mirror and take a look.”

Therese slid down from the stool. She gave Tom a shy look but he smiled at her, with her hands on both sides of his face. She followed Dannie to the bathroom looking down. When she hit the sink, she slowly looked up until she saw herself in the mirror. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She was shocked. She could see Dannie’s scared face behind her.

“Oh no Dannie … I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I just can barely recognize myself. I look so …”

“Beautiful. Like you’ve always been. I just tried to enhance that pretty face of yours, that’s all.”

He [haircut](http://74.207.236.101/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/medium-short-hairstyle-with-wispy-bangs.jpg) it half way to her shoulders. The inner layer was a little longer than the outside, making her hair fall naturally and with volume around her face, not flat. He cut some light bangs that also fell naturally. The cut, as he explained, was low maintenance so it wouldn’t require much of her to keep it chic.

“Oh my God Dannie I don’t know what else to say … this is amazing …”

“What did I tell you? Isn’t he the best?” asked Tom, joining them in the bathroom.

“He sure is! Dannie, I don’t know how am I going to pay you back, ” said Therese as she turned around to give Dannie a big hug. She couldn’t help crying. Nobody had done so much for her in her entire life. She felt overwhelmed by how much Dannie cared for her. He had taught her so much in the past few weeks, from taking a picture with her phone to feeling confident about herself.

“Just promise me you will start living your best life, Terry,” said Dannie.

She was still taking baby steps, but she knew that with Dannie (and Tom) by her side, she was more than ready to start her new fabulous life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Here's a new chapter. I had fun writing this one, I hope you like it. 
> 
>  
> 
> For her clothes refereces, just check H&M winter sale to get an idea ;)


	5. It's school time

It was Monday, the first day of school at the International Center of Photography. Therese had enrolled herself in the yearlong program for Creative Processes. This course would introduce her to the history of photography; she would learn about different approaches and techniques in order to be able to develop her own personal vision. The classes would be between 4 to 5 hours each day, but she would also have to dedicate extra hours for special projects. There were also going to be special workshops on Saturdays; for example, film developing. Throughout the year, she would also work on her personal portfolio that would be exhibited at the end of the year at the school’s own museum.  
  
Classes begin at 9 AM, but Therese was already awake by 6 AM, beyond nervous and excited. She got out of bed and decided to take a shower. She washed her hair and blow-dried it just like Dannie had taught her in order to keep the volume. Then she went to the kitchen to have breakfast. She wasn’t very hungry but she thought it would be a bad idea to not have anything so she grabbed some cereal and fruit. Once finished, she headed to her closet to decide on what to wear. It was getting colder each week, and New York City seemed to be much colder than her hometown.

After minutes of going through her new things, she finally decided on a pair of black denim [jeans](https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0399136033.html), a white t-shirt, a gray [sweatshirt](https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0663015002.html), and black ankle [boots](https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0680712001.html). She added some mascara, blush, and light pink lipstick to her face. She picked an apple and a granola bar, put them inside her [backpack](https://herschel.com/content/dam/herschel/products/10005/10005-02347-OS_01.jpg.sthumbnails.1000.1250.jpg), along with her notebook, and pencil case. She still preferred to take notes the old way and not with a computer. She also knew she would be taking lots of book from the library to expand her knowledge as much as possible. Therese ran quickly to her bedroom to get the leather gloves; even though she felt too self-conscious to wear them (and why should she since she probably wasn’t going to see their owner again), she still wanted to be near them. They made her feel safe.

She looked at the time – it was only 7:30. She knew Dannie would still be sleeping since it was his day off. She decided to take a picture of her outfit to show him what she had picked. She knew he wouldn’t forgive her if she didn’t. She sent it with the text: “Not too bad for first day of school, huh?” She double-checked that she had everything with her, as well as the bus line she had to take to Midtown. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sit around in her apartment any longer, so she put on her green [parka](https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0693508002.html) and her backpack and headed outside. The bus ride was around 30 minutes, so she was going to arrive way too early. She thought she could walk around the school building to familiarize herself with its surroundings.  
  
The school was located in a very modern glass building. The museum was on the main floor and it could be seen from the sidewalk. From what Therese could see from the outside, there were different exhibitions taking place. The building was still closed, so Therese decided to walk around. She found a Starbucks right on the corner, so she decided to grab a hot coffee to warm her up and buy some more time. From the window, she could see there was a park on the other side of the street. There weren’t many people, considering how cold it was so early in the morning. She could already see herself spending time there under the warm spring sun, but that was going to take a while since winter hadn’t begun yet.

When the clock showed 8:45 she headed to the school building and to her surprise, it was now open. She asked the receptionist where the group for Creative Processes was gathering. The woman told her it was on the first floor, room A1. She went up the stairs, holding her breath. She was about to be in a room full of strangers; she started to feel more nervous as she got closer. Maybe that coffee hadn’t been a good idea after all. Right in that moment her phone vibrated – it was a message from Dannie: “OMG you look absolutely cute. Lots of luck on your first day Terry!” She smiled at the fact that it only took a message from Dannie to make her feel better.

She found the room, which was already filling in with people. She made her way through the back of the room and sat down at one of the desks. She didn’t dare look around her, so she kept her focus on the front. There were a group of men and women talking among themselves, _teachers_ , Therese thought. She was brought back to present when one of them started to speak: “Good morning everyone. Welcome to the ICP. We are all very excited to have you here.” The man continued to explain the courses and the activities planned for the year, things Therese already knew. Now that everybody was paying attention to the front, Therese gave a look around. She noticed it was a small group, around 20 people. They seemed to be around her age, maybe a bit older. There also seemed to be more boys than girls. The man stopped talking and everybody started to clap. Therese felt a little bad for not having paid attention to the last part. _Great Therese, keep it up this way_ , she said to herself. She joined the applause.

Now everybody was standing up. They were going to get a tour around the building. The group went to the second floor, where the library, photography labs and teachers’ staff room were located. She could see the library was full with many books; she was already excited to spend time there. Then they went back to the first floor, where the rest of the classrooms were. They were assigned based on the class, so Therese would have to move from one to another. There were bathrooms on each floor. The ground floor was the most exciting part, since it held the museum and cafeteria. The same woman from the reception welcomed them and explained that the director of the museum couldn’t attend that day. She was usually the one who gave the museum tour but she was going to be back tomorrow. The woman explained that the museum was open for both students and public. They had different exhibitions throughout the year, and many of the works belonged to the students from the school. She also said that those students that were interested in learning more could help with the guided tours during the weekends. Therese wasn’t sure about this part since having to deal with the public made her nervous.  
  
They all went back to the first floor, where their first class of History of Photography was going to take place. Therese hurried again to take a seat at the back. She was so determined to do so that she bumped into someone.

“Excuse me, I’m so sorry I didn’t see you.”

“It’s OK, don’t worry. I like your accent. I’m Richard, by the way.”

“Oh thanks … I’m Therese.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Teresa. If you need anything just let me know!”

Therese tried to smile back despite feeling annoyed for how he had mispronounced her name, but she was too shy to correct him. She tried to get away from him as much as possible, so she sat at the desk at the other corner. Everyone rushed to take a seat when the teacher arrived.

“Hello, class. My name is Abby Gerhard and I’m going to be your History teacher. This is going to be a very intense course, since we can’t study all of the History of Photography in just one year. Therefore, I recommend you take material from the library and continue to study on your own. By looking at the past, we will be able to learn different approaches photographers have taken and their impact …”

The class continued with a presentation of the first camera ever built, and its huge social, cultural, and technological impact. Therese was taking notes, immersed in the class. She was taken by surprise when the bell rang informing them that the 3-hour class had ended. Time had sure flown by. She gathered her things quickly and put them back in her backpack. She headed quickly to the door in order to avoid bumping into Richard again.

She went to the bathroom to freshen up, glad she was alone. She opened her backpack to get her lipstick when she saw the gloves; she grabbed them and took them to her nose to smell the faint perfume. She felt her heart racing, as if they were telling her she was in the right place. Some girls entering the bathroom interrupted her moment. Therese quickly put them away; she didn’t want to be seen as the weirdo who smelled gloves in the bathroom. She finished applying lipstick and headed downstairs to the main floor where the cafeteria was. They had a 30-minute break before her last class of the day: Photography I. She was hungry, so she went for a soda and a sandwich. She picked the table that was furthest away from the entrance in order to eat alone. She took her phone and started to text Dannie to tell him how her day was going when a familiar voice interrupted her.

“Hey Teresa! You ran away from the class. I was going to ask you to grab something to eat,” he said as he sat across from Therese with a tray with food.

“Oh I’m sorry, I needed to go to the bathroom,” she said, finishing her text to Dannie.

“It’s fine. So tell me, where’s that accent from? I like it.”

“I’m from the Czech Republic,” she said, rather cold. She didn’t know why but Richard made her feel annoyed. Maybe because he was trying too hard to be nice … oh yeah, and her name.

“Wow, that’s cool. I never met someone from that place. Have you been here long?”

“Not really. I came here just a few weeks ago.” She went back to her phone and texted Dannie: “please call me”.

“That’s so short. If you’d like, I can definitely show you around and ...” He was interrupted by Therese’s phone ringing.

“I’m sorry but I have to get this before the next class begins …” Therese grabbed her food and headed out.

“Is everything OK, Terry?” asked Dannie on the other line.

“Yes, yes! Sorry, I just needed to get away from this guy who keeps talking to me. I don’t like him.”

“Why is that?”

“He’s … too nice. And he also mispronounces my name – it’s not that hard!” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, did you correct him? He might actually be a nice guy … don’t scare him away.”

“All right, I’ll correct him next time. He also said he would like to show me around the city.”

“That sounds cool! I know I’m your favorite New Yorker but it’s also good to hang out with other people.”

“I know. You must be already getting tired of me, always running to you for help.”

“Hey hey there! Don’t say that! I love hanging out with you and that I’m the first person you run to when you need it. I’ll always be here for you, OK?”

“OK. And I’ll always be grateful for everything you do for me. I love you, Dannie.”

“I love you too, Terry. Now go back to class! I’ll have dinner ready when you come back home.”

“You’re awesome, you know that?”

“I sure am. Bye, Terry!”  
  
Therese’s mood changed dramatically for the second time in the day after talking to Dannie. She went up the stairs with a smile. The photography class was shorter than the History one. They learned the basics about an analogue camera, as well as the film process. She enjoyed it since she could apply some of the tips the teacher was giving them to her own camera. When the bell rang, she got up but this time she walked slowly and passed by where Richard was sitting.

“Bye Richard, see you tomorrow.” She waved at him.

“Bye Teresa!”

“Actually, it’s Therezzze, not Teresa,” she said with a shy smile.

“Oh I’m sorry, Therese. See you tomorrow!”

As she was slowly coming down the stairs, she noticed a big board near the main entrance with small faces all over it. For some reason she was drawn to it like a magnet. When she was finally in front of it, she started to look at the faces, the names and their rank in the school. She recognized some already. As her eyes scanned the third row, her eyes went wide when they stopped at that face, THE face that had been haunting her for the past weeks. Those blue eyes were looking straight at her again. Her heart started to race and she could barely breathe. She read the text below the picture: CAROL AIRD – Museum Director/Curator.  _She wasn’t here today … she could have welcomed us …_ ” Therese was actually glad Carol hadn’t been there that day or else she wouldn’t have been able to stay in the same room as her. She went back to check on the upper faces since she had seen the name “Aird” before. “HARGESS AIRD – DEAN OF ICP”. _She is married … to him._  The man in the picture looked very serious, almost intimidating. Therese wondered how someone so beautiful and enchanting like Carol could be married to someone like him.  
  
Therese darted out of the building to catch the bus home. On her ride back, she couldn’t stop her mind from spinning. She had found her, the woman in red; and she worked at the very same school she attended, of all places! Therese just couldn’t believe her luck. When she got to her apartment, Dannie was already cooking dinner. He jumped when he heard the door close with a bang.

“Therese, is that you?” he yelled from the kitchen.

“DANNIE, I FOUND HER!” exclaimed Therese as she entered the kitchen, catching her breath.

“Who did you find? What are you talking about?” He left the stove to go to Therese and place his hand on her to calm her down.

“THE WOMAN FROM THE BUS! She works at the school, MY school!”

“OMG Therese, that’s insane! Are you sure it’s her? I mean you only saw her once …”

“I’M SURE IT’S HER! Those eyes … those deep blue eyes. Even though it was just a picture, I could feel shivers down my body. It’s her.”

“Wow Terry … I can’t believe your luck! You do know this is a city of 8.6 million people, right? What are the odds to find her at your school …”

“I know! I can’t believe it myself. The whole day I had this feeling like … I was in the right place, you know? She didn’t come to school today to introduce herself, but she will be there tomorrow. Oh Dannie, what am I going to do? I still have her gloves.” Therese looked at her hands with shame.

“Well then, you have the perfect excuse to talk to her when you return them to her. I bet she will be happy to see you ….I mean get THEM back,” said Dannie, winking at Therese.

“Ahhh stop it! I’m sure she won’t even know who I am. She will actually think I’m weird for keeping them in the first place.”  
  
“What did I tell you about staying open to opportunities? This is it, Terry! Just go to her tomorrow and return them.”  
  
“Fine. You make it sound so easy.”  
  
They ate the dinner Dannie had prepared to celebrate Therese’s first day of school: ravioli with homemade salsa. Although Therese was a bundle of nerves just thinking about what tomorrow would bring, she managed to finish the whole plate. It took a while but finally sleep took over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter for your enjoyment. Let me know what you think of it, your feedback is more than welcomed every time! :)


	6. Her again

If Therese had woken up way too early the day before, today was going to be a new record. She woke up at around 5 AM. She tried to go back to sleep but after an hour of trying, her dreams kept being interrupted by various possible scenarios of how her first encounter with Carol would go. They all ended with Carol rejecting her, telling her she was a stalker or worse. She finally gave up and woke up extremely tired and restless. She stayed in bed, laying on her back just trying to gather her thoughts. She got up and went to her bathroom, then ran a cold shower to wake herself up. While still dripping wet, she stood in front of the sink mirror and started to rehearse what she would say to Carol when she returned her gloves.

_Hi … Hello, I’m Therese … Therese Belivet. You probably don’t remember me (and why should you), but a few nights ago you left your gloves on the same bus I was on and I don’t know why I took them; I just knew I would return them to you one day … Wow that sounds so clingy, Therese. She’s not going to believe you one bit … she’ll probably call security and kick you out. God! What am I going to do?_

She finished drying herself, for she didn’t want to catch a cold. The task to pick out her outfit that morning was going to be even harder than the previous day. Now she knew she wanted to impress Carol, to make her notice her. She decided to go with the same denim jeans and boots, a long sleeve t-shirt, and a black knitted cardigan on top. She chose a green scarf to add a dash of color and to match her eyes. She worked a little harder on her makeup in order to look flawless. She always thought she was too pale, and the few hours of sleep she had had were showing on her face, so she added some concealer. Her stomach was a ball of nerves, but once again, she forced herself to have some cereal to give herself some needed strength. She couldn’t let herself faint in front of Carol; no, that would be a catastrophe. She tried to calm herself down with every bite but it was proving impossible. She grabbed the bowl of cereal and sat on the couch. She turned on the TV and picked up where she had left on the show she had been watching. After a couple of minutes she realized she wasn’t paying any attention to what was being said, so she turned off the TV. She finished her breakfast and went to the sink to wash the bowl. When she thought she couldn’t stay in her apartment any longer, she grabbed her things and headed out.  


She planned to arrive a couple minutes earlier to school to try and get the glove situation done with as soon as possible. Otherwise, she was probably going to combust throughout the day if she left it for later. She got to the building 10 minutes before her first morning class started. Therese really wanted it to be quick; just hand her the gloves and that’s it. Just a couple of minutes with Carol were going to be enough for her. She also didn’t trust her nervous system. Therese went to the always-friendly receptionist and asked her where the museum director’s office was.  
  
“See that arch over there? If you go through there, you’ll see her office. But I’m afraid she’s not here yet. Would you like me to tell her you were looking for her?”  
  
“Oh no, it’s OK, don’t worry … I have to go now anyway, I don’t want to be late for my class,” she said nervously. She didn’t want Carol to know she had been looking for her.  
  
“That’s good then. Have a nice day sweetie!”  
  
“Thank you. Have a nice day, too”  
  
Therese went quickly up the stairs, as if escaping from that failed opportunity. If she had felt nervous moments before, now she was a mixture of nerves and anxiety. She would have to wait until lunch break to try again. She headed to her Best Practices class. The teacher was a nice old man with a unique style: he was wearing the brightest colors, which made Therese smile. Therese found Richard so she decided to sit near him; she needed a distraction from what was going to happen later.  
  
“Hi Therese, how are you?” asked Richard with a warm smile.  
  
“I’m good, good thanks for asking.” Therese tried to sound as calm and cool as possible in order hide the turmoil she was on the inside.  
  
In that moment, the teacher announced they would be working in pairs. He was going to show them different kinds of pictures and they would have to analyze them by considering every element used in it, thinking about the process and finally reacting to them. Afterwards, they would have to pick their top three pictures and present them in front of the class. If Therese already had a reason to be nervous, this task gave her another one. She started to breathe heavily.  
  
“Are you OK Therese?” asked Richard with a concerned face, while extending his arm to hold her by the shoulder. Therese jumped at the touch.  
  
“Oh sorry. Yes I’m fine…it’s just that I don’t think I will be able to talk in front of the class…it makes me nervous?” said Therese looking at her hands, trying to normalize her breathing.  
  
“Is it because of your accent? It’s going to be fine…” said Richard.  
  
_Wow, he really went straight to the point_ said Therese to herself. She knew her accent was hard to hide, even though she had been trying to improve at it in the past weeks. It was getting better, but it still made her feel self-conscious about it and insecure. She believed people would make fun of her.  
  
“I don’t want to be made fun of… I’ve never spoken in front of a class before so I don’t know what to do…”  
  
“Don’t worry about it Therese. There are many students from all over the world in this school. Do you see that girl with dark curly hair over there? She’s from France…and that other guy is from Canada. You’re not the only one with an accent here.” Said Richard with a reassuring smile.  
  
They started to work on their assignment, analyzing the pictures the teacher was showing them. Therese had a very good eye for detail and capturing the emotions behind the image. It was a talent she had inherited from her father. Richard and Therese picked their three favorite photographs: one of these being [three sisters](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/web04/2012/5/30/14/enhanced-buzz-30768-1338402354-28.jpg?downsize=700:*&;output-format=auto&;output-quality=auto) posing together years apart, with one of them missing in the last one; the second one showing [Jewish women](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/web03/2012/5/30/14/enhanced-buzz-15223-1338402619-17.jpg?downsize=800:*&;output-format=auto&;output-quality=auto) and children being liberated during the WW2; and the last one of a [man crying](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/5/29/16/enhanced-buzz-22673-1338324627-21.jpg?downsize=800:*&;output-format=auto&;output-quality=auto) during the occupation of Nazis in Paris. They were all in black and white, which was Therese’s favorite. When it was finally time to present them in front of the class, Therese walked nervously towards the front. She believed that if she was able to deliver a successful presentation in front of a class full of strangers, she would be able to talk to Carol. This presentation was going to be some sort of a warm-up, an exercise to control her nerves during a speech. Once standing at the front, with her notes in hand, and looking mostly at them, Therese explained what she had seen in each of the pictures and the emotions behind them. When they were finished presenting, the class gave them a round of applause. Therese felt proud of herself; she felt confident.  


The bell rang, marking the end of the class and beginning of lunchtime. This was it; this was the moment. Therese went to the bathroom to check herself. She looked at herself in the mirror and whispered: _You can do this, you just gave a speech, you’ve got this._  She went downstairs, took a left to where the receptionist had indicated her to earlier. As she crossed the arch, she could hear voices. One of them was familiar; it belonged to her History teacher, Miss Gerhard. The other one was deep, smoky. The door was half opened, so Therese knocked on it to announce her presence. The voices went quiet. Therese held her breath. She heard steps approaching, and seconds later, Abby poked her head through the door.  
  
“Can I help you with something? You’re in my History class, Belivet right?” asked Abby.  
  
“Y-…yes. I’m looking for Mrs. Aird…I need to talk to her if possible…” said Therese with a shaky voice.  
  
“Let her in, Abby” Therese heard from the other side of the door. Abby opened it to let Therese step in. Therese passed Abby with her eyes fixed on the floor, holding her hands to keep them from shaking.  
  
“Abby, would you leave us alone please?” Carol said. Therese finally dared to raise her head and look at the woman behind the desk. Therese could hear Abby say something but she wasn’t able to understand what. All her senses were focused on Carol. That perfume again, it was stronger and sweeter now that she was standing in front of the source. They stayed in silence for a while, eyes locked on each other. Carol was the one who broke the silence.  
  
“So…you came here to see me?” she said in that irresistible husky voice.  
  
“Oh…huumm, yes. This is going to sound strange but…I think these belong to you,” said Therese as she pulled the leather gloves from her bag. She held them in front of her, waiting for Carol to react.  
  
“Oh God, yes! I was wondering where I had left them…,” she said as she took them from Therese’s hand, their fingertips slightly brushing. Therese felt electricity running down her body.  
  
“You’re the girl from the bus, aren’t you?” asked Carol tilting her head a little while resting her chin on her right hand, her left one holding the gloves on her desk.  
  
“Yes, yes I am. You left them behind after you got off the bus. I only noticed them later, when you were already gone,” said Therese looking down feeling a little guilty for not having been able to warn her about them.  
  
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t be standing here right now…would you?” said Carol with a playful tone. Therese looked up again to see a smirk on Carol’s face.  
  
“No, I wouldn’t.” she smiled back, her cheeks growing red.  
  
“I feel like I owe you something in return, for all your trouble…,” said Carol with a more serious tone, but still charming.  
  
“Oh no please, it was nothing. I still can’t believe that I found you here, of all places!” said Therese.  
  
“Isn’t it crazy? It’s almost as if they guided you all the way to me,” said Carol squeezing the gloves gently.  
  
Therese couldn’t bring herself to say anything, for it was the same feeling she had felt but she wasn’t going to admit it; she just smiled back, her dimples showing.  
  
“What are you doing this afternoon, after school I mean? Would you like to have a coffee with me? I mean, it’s the least I can do…” Therese couldn’t believe the nervous tone in Carol’s voice. How could such a captivating, fascinating woman get nervous…because of her?  
  
“I have nothing…I mean, I’m free. I’d love to…”  
  
“Well then, that’s that. I guess I’ll see you outside at 5:00?”

“Yes, it’s perfect. I’ll wait for you outside, yes.” Therese knew she would have to wait two hours for her since her last class ended at 3:00. But she couldn’t care less, she would wait for Carol a lifetime if necessary; and in a way it felt like she had been waiting all her life.  
  
“Now go back, I don’t want to be the reason you’re late for your next class,” said Carol winking at her.  
  
“Of course not…until later Mrs. Aird,” said Therese as turned and headed for the door.  
  
“Please, call me Carol. You didn’t tell me your name.”  
  
“It’s Therese…Therese Belivet.”  
  
“See you later, Therese.” They both smiled at each other before Therese walked out.  


Therese looked at her phone and realized she only had 10 minutes of lunch. She ran to the cafeteria to grab some chips and something to drink. She wasn’t sure if her heart was beating fast because of the run or because of her meeting with Carol. She agreed on the latter.

She made it just in time for her next class. It was on film photography in black and white, her favorite. She couldn’t hold a smile throughout the class, to the point that Richard asked her if she was OK. She was more than OK. Once the class was over, Therese said goodbye to Richard and headed back to the cafeteria to grab something more to eat. Now that the moment had passed, her body was manifesting itself. While she was eating her salad, she rang Dannie to let him know how it went.  
  
“SOOOOO, HOW DID IT GO?! Did you talk to her?” asked Dannie excitedly.  
  
“Yes, yes I did! I still can’t believe it… I was so nervous I almost ran away,” said Therese.  
  
“But you didn’t! I’m so proud of you, Terry. Now tell me, how is she? Is she as beautiful as you remembered her?”  
  
“Oh Dannie, she’s more beautiful…and her voice…it is as sweet as her perfume. I was in a daze… she invited me to have a coffee afterwards…”  
  
“OMG SHE DIDN’T! Please tell me you said yes, Terry! I’ll come all the way there and kick you if I have to!” said Dannie almost yelling.  
  
“I did, I said yes! God, I’m so nervous…I don’t know what to tell her, what to talk about…I don’t know much about…”  
  
“Shhuush…you’ll be fine Terry. Let it flow naturally. Don’t worry too much about it. You’re smart and funny, she won’t be able to resist you, I’m sure.”  
  
“Oh stop it; you’re making me more nervous. I’m going to leave you now. I want to go to the library and study until it’s time.”  
  
“Of course you are. Smart, see? Good luck, Terry!”  


Therese spent the last hour in the library, going through some books Miss Gerhard had recommended to them to expand their knowledge on the subject they were studying in class. She was so immersed in the books that when she checked the time it was already 5:05. She quickly went to the front desk to return the books. She went down the two flight of stairs as quickly as her legs let her. As she was approaching the front door, she could see Carol already waiting for her on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette. Therese wished she had her camera with her; Carol looked like she belonged in a 50’s movie with her fur coat and dark sunglasses. Therese took a deep breath and walked out of the door.  
  
“Oh there you are! I was thinking you had run away from me,” said Carol with a smile, exhaling the smoke of her cigarette.  
  
“Never,” said Therese, looking straight into those blue eyes.  
  
“Well then, shall we?” said Carol as she started to walk, turning her head slightly towards Therese and smiling at her. “I like the scarf, it suits you.”  
  
Therese knew in that moment that she would follow her until the end of the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm sorry for not having been able to update sooner. University started again and I found little time or energy to write. This is an important chapert, so I didn't want to rush it. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Special thanks to Kay for beta reading :)


	7. Coffee for two

Therese had the urge to outstretch her hand and to hold Carol’s in hers. She would let Carol take her anywhere, eyes closed. She shook that idea out of her mind, for it would be so inappropriate to try, and started to walk next to Carol, as close as possible without being too invasive. They walked mainly in silence; except for when Carol told Therese they would be walking to a coffee place that was just a few blocks away, and a comment on how cold it was. Therese looked mostly to the ground, but every few steps she would allow herself to steal a glance at Carol. There, with the autumn sun setting in front of her face, the reflection captured in her dark glasses and in her blonde wavy hair, Therese felt she was daydreaming.  


They finally arrived at the coffee place. It looked like it belonged in another time, another era. It contrasted with the tall modern buildings around it. No wonder why Carol took them there, she too belonged in it. They walked inside the dimmed room, dark walls and furniture accentuating the mood. The place wasn’t very full, so Carol was able to pick the furthest, most private table. When they were finally settled, sitting across each other, Carol was the first one to start talking.  
  
“So Therese…Belivet. Where does that name come from?” asked Carol with a mysterious tone.  
  
“Oh, I come from the Czech Republic…I came here just a couple of weeks ago. I bet you can tell by my strong accent…,” said Therese shyly, her cheeks turning slightly red.  
  
“Not at all, I think it’s lovely. It’s so very you… fascinating,” said Carol resting her chin on both hands, staring at Therese. Therese couldn’t hold her look, it was too intense, so she looked down at her hands.  
  
“Not at all…I’m just…ordinary.”  
  
“I beg to differ. A young woman like yourself who travelled all the way to New York City to study what is her passion, and I can say this because I saw the pictures you submitted with your inscriptions and they were stunning, that is far from ordinary.”  
  
Therese was taken aback by not only the fact that Carol had seen her work, but also how she was praising her. To have someone like Carol, director of a museum, who has probably seen the works of the best photographers in the world, talking so highly of her amateur shots stunning, was simply too much.  
  
“I don’t know what to say…thank you. It’s the first time someone tells me they are good,” said Therese looking back at Carol with a shy smile.  
  
“That is hard to believe. They are good; you are very good at it. You certainly have an eye for it…”  
  
The waiter arrived at their table to take their orders. Carol decided on a Caffe au Lait stronger on the coffee side. When it was Therese’s turn, she didn’t know what to order. She wasn’t much of a coffee drinker but she didn’t want to let it show (they had agreed on coffee after all), so she said she would have the same as Carol. Carol asked her if she had tried bagels to which Therese said she didn’t, so she ordered one for her. Once the waiter left, they resumed with their conversation.  
  
“So where did this talent come from?” asked Carol returning to her original position, focusing on Therese.  
  
“From my father, I guess. He loved taking pictures of my mother and myself…I still have his camera.”  
  
“He was?” asked Carol with a concerned look.  
  
“Yes…both my mother and father died in an accident when I was still a child,” said Therese rubbing her hands nervously. Carol’s face went rigid at the mention of this; she extended one hand to hold one of Therese’s hands in hers and gave it a warm squeeze. Therese jumped at the sudden contact, feeling this soothing warmth coming from Carol’s hand. She stared at their joint hands.  
  
“I’m so sorry to hear that, darling,” said Carol still holding Therese’s hand. “Did you have any other family to take care of you?”  
  
“No… I was sent to an orphanage and that’s where I’ve spent most of my life.”  
  
“And now you’re here,” said Carol as she gave one last squeeze before taking her hand away. Therese held her breath at the loss of contact, looking back at Carol as if pleading for her to hold her again. In that moment, the waiter came back with their orders, gently placing them in front of them.  
  
“Bon appetit,” said Carol as she started to stir her coffee, taking a spoonful and blowing at it in the most sensual way Therese had ever seen. She almost spilled her coffee all over the table. She decided it would be a better idea to start with the bagel instead. She closed her eyes to concentrate on the new flavor that was hitting her taste buds.  
  
“I see someone is enjoying her food…,” said Carol in a playful tone, before hiding behind her coffee mug.  
  
Therese almost choked. She just about managed to swallow her bite. She sipped on her coffee before talking again.  
  
“Tell me about yourself.”  
  
“Huuumm, there’s not much to say. I’ve been a director at the museum for ten years. I know, it’s a lot. It makes me look so old…”  
  
“You’re not old!” said Therese too loud for her own surprise. Maybe it was the caffeine shot kicking in her system. “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”  
  
“I’m 37…,” said Carol shrugging, diverting her eyes from Therese.  
  
“That’s fine, really. It’s just a number. You don’t look like it at all.”   
  
“Oh you’re too sweet. But I feel like these past years have taken a toll on me…well, with the divorce…,” said Carol with a sigh, showing herself vulnerable for the first time before Therese.  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that…”  
  
“Oh don’t be. It was long due. We tried to make things work, even with Rindy but…,” Carol’s eyes lighted up for a second at the mention of Rindy.  
  
“Rindy is your…child?” asks Therese shyly trying to not sound too shocked.  
  
“Yes, she’s the light of my life. She’s five years old. She’s growing up so fast…I feel I don’t get to see much of her…,” said Carol with a sad tone.  
  
“Oh no. Why is that? You should be with her, you’re her mother,” said Therese with concern. She, of all people, knew how it was like to grow up without a mother.  
  
“We have shared custody, but Harge gets more time with her. It was either that or losing her completely. I guess since he couldn’t keep me…he wants to keep Rindy all to himself.”  
  
“That’s not good…I noticed that he works at the school too?”  
  
“Ah yes. Well, working isn’t really the word. He lost interest in the school years ago. His name is still there because he belongs to the Old Guys Club; he has connections. He always liked a challenge and the school isn’t one anymore. But he won’t quit the school completely as long as I’m there…”  
  
“So he can still control you in a way…,” said Therese with an angry tone.  
  
“Exactly. But fortunately he’s never around. If it wasn’t for Abby I don’t know what I would have done, probably quit.”  
  
“Mrs. Gerhard? Is she a close friend to you?” said Therese trying to hide her jealousy. She didn’t know why she was feeling like that since she had no right to it. She barely knew Carol.  
  
“Yes, she’s more than that. She’s Rindy’s Godmother. We’ve known each other for years. She’s been my rock.”  
  
“I’m glad to hear that. You don’t deserve to go through bad things alone.” Therese felt like she was being too bold, but she truly didn’t want Carol to go through any more hard times. She wanted to be by her side and make her happy.  
  
“You’re too kind. I don’t know why I’m telling you all these things; you must think I’m the worst…”  
  
“No, I don’t Carol! You can trust me with anything. I know we just met but…”  
  
“I know I can trust you…you returned my gloves after all, didn’t you?” They both shared a laugh. Carol’s laugh was like music to Therese’s ears. She knew her mission from now on was to make her happy and laugh like that as much as possible.  
  
“I hate to say this, but I really must go. I have a new exposition to work on and it opens in two weeks. I’d really need some extra help with it… Would you possibly be interested…?” Carol said as she waved at the waiter for the check.  
  
“Yes, yes I would,” said Therese with a deep smile, dimples showing.  
  
“Sold!” said Carol smiling back. “I’m with my car; do you need me to take you anywhere?”  
  
“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m meeting a friend.” It was a white lie; Therese didn’t want to trouble Carol. Besides, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to survive a car ride with her; sharing such a small space with her. “I thought you took the bus?” said Therese with a cheeky tone.  
  
“I don’t really. My car decided to break down that day…but now that I think of it…I’m thankful it did…,” said Carol as she started to put her coat on, in the most seductive way possible. Therese held her breath.

The waiter arrived with their check and Carol took her wallet to pay, but when Therese was about to grab hers, Carol interrupted her.  
  
“No, please. It’s my treat. My way of thanking you.” She paid and the waiter left. Now standing up, Carol came to Therese’s side and extended her hand. Therese extended hers to shake it.  
  
“It’s been lovely to meet you, Therese Belivet. And I will take your word to help me with the exposition,” said Carol as she gave Therese’s hand a squeeze.  
  
“Likewise…and yes, count on me for that…or anything.”  
  
“You don’t know what you’re putting yourself up to…,” said Carol as she gave Therese a wink. And just like that, she was gone. Therese was left with a whirlwind of emotions. She even asked herself “did that just happen?”.  


When she finally arrived home, her phone buzzed with a text from Dannie.  
  
Dannie: Are you home yet? I think I heard you. Do you want me to come over? How did it go?  
  
Therese: Yes, I’m home. It was amazing…more than amazing. I still can’t believe it happened. I’d love to tell you everything but I’m so tired. Don’t get mad!  
  
Dannie: Ok I won’t, but promise me you’ll tell me EVERYTHING tomorrow…or I won’t cook for you again ;)  
  
Therese: I promise! And please don’t, you know I wouldn’t exist without your cooking. Goodnight!  


Therese made it directly to bed. She didn’t care to take her clothes off. She covered herself with a blanket. She just wanted to relive every second of her meeting with Carol. She kept thinking about how open and vulnerable Carol had been with her, telling her about her life and trusting her with it. She felt so special. She also couldn’t stop overanalyzing Carol’s looks and winks and smiles…was she flirting with her? She tried to convince herself she was imagining things…she clearly didn’t have much experience to know better, but still she decided to hold on to that feeling, only if for that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without sounding too dramatic, this chapter comes out of pain. I had a very rough weekend, and I found comfort in writing. Just knowing that you'd enjoy this, I made me feel much better. I hope it won't disappoint you! Thank you for all the commets and the supoort, it means so much!
> 
> Special thanks to Kay for beta reading :)


	8. Freezing that frame

The next morning Therese woke up early as usual. She was now more than eager to go to school, hoping she would catch a glimpse of Carol at the entrance or corridors. Just when she was about to change her clothes, she heard a knock on the door. It was Dannie carrying breakfast with him.  
  
“If you thought you were going to get rid of me until later today, you were very wrong… now, spill the tea!”, Dannie said as he passed Therese, setting the breakfast down on the coffee table. Therese stood there, her brain still slow for that early in the morning.  
  
“C’mon, sit, grab your coffee and talk, Terry!”, Dannie said, handing a cup of coffee to Therese as she sat next to him on the couch.  
  
“OK, OK…well, we agreed on meeting outside the building. When I arrived, she was already waiting there for me, but I’m glad I was late since I could steal a minute and just stare at her. Dannie, she’s so beautiful, I don’t have words to explain it…”  
  
“Hmm, OK. I like how this is starting. Please, continue…,” Dannie said as he sipped on his coffee, Therese still not touching hers.  
  
“Then we started to walk, side by side. The sun was setting on her; she became this beautiful being full of light. It was like a dream. I could smell her perfume…,” Therese exclaimed whilst focusing on the wall behind Dannie. She felt nervous for retelling the experience.  
  
“Did you grab her hand?” asked Dannie playfully.  
  
“Oh stop it, Dannie, no! I could barely breathe walking next to her,” she said, covering her face with both hands, which Dannie instantly pulled away.

“Don’t be dramatic, I was just kidding. What happened next?”  
  
“We entered the cafe and it was kind of dark, with not many people around. She chose a table furthest away from everyone…”  
  
“Privacy, I see. Nice move, Carol!” Dannie interrupted and Therese rolled her eyes.  
  
“Anyway…she asked where I was from and I told her about my parents… she held my hand while -”  
  
“SHE DID WHAT? Therese! How did it feel?”  
  
“Warm…so warm. She got upset about my story and just wanted to comfort me, I guess? Her touch was so soft and it made me feel the strongest things inside me. I wanted her to wrap me in her arms so that I could feel that warmth all over my body…Oh Dannie, I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling.”  
  
“We’ve talked about this, Terry. You have to stop feeling guilty about your feelings for Carol, whatever they might be. Girl, I gotta introduce some Tori Amos into your life…”  
  
“A what?” Therese asked..  
  
“It’s a she, and she’s been my spiritual teacher, my guide. I wouldn’t have accepted myself the way I have if it wasn’t for her music. And you, Miss, need to start trusting yourself. OK?”

“OK, I will” Therese said, giving Dannie a smile.  
  
“So, what else?”  
  
“She told me she has a daughter and that she’s divorced, but she still has his last name.”  
  
“That’s common. She probably kept it because of her job or her career?”  
  
“The problem is that he also works at the school…not much but…”  
  
“OMG DRAMA! So he’s still watching over her?”  
  
“Yes… and then she asked me if I’d help her with an exposition she has to organize in two weeks…”  
  
“Of course she did…and of course you said yes, didn’t you?” Dannie asked with a grin.  
  
“Yes…but it’s also expected from students to help around the museum, so…”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, right. Anyway, I’m so happy for you, Terry! I’m happy that everything went well.”  
  
“Yes it did… Oh, God, it’s late! I have to go change or I’ll be late! Thank you for the breakfast!” Therese shouted as she ran to her bedroom. She got dressed quickly, no time for anything else.  
  
  
For the first time Therese arrived late to class, which was with Miss Gerhard again. When she entered the room, the class went quiet. She passed in front of Miss Gerhard with her head ducked down. When she thought the worst had passed, Miss Gerhard began to talk again.  
  
“Oh, Belivet, thank you for joining us today!” Miss Gerhard hissed, with her arms crossed over her chest. Therese was so embarrassed for being called out in front of the whole class; she felt like she would combust right there. She sat quietly next to Richard, giving him a terrified look.  
  
“I was just asking the class who was considered the father of photography…Do you know who that is by any chance?” Miss Gerhard inquired in a defying tone. Therese took a deep breath before gathering all her strength to look straight at her.  
  
“Actually, yes - his name is Joseph Nicéphore Niépce. He captured the very first photograph around 1826; the image depicts a view from an upstairs window. The reflective plate he used makes it difficult to actually see the landscape.” Therese felt as if she was running out of breath by the time she finished talking. She stayed silent, waiting for Miss Gerhard to react.

“Well, looks like someone did her homework. Well done, Belivet,” Miss Gerhard nodded her head in approval. She then resumed with her class.

“That was impressive, Therese!” said Richard, giving Therese a pat on the back.

“Thank you…” Therese was still trying to process what had come over her, to respond in such a defiant way. She felt like Miss Gerhard was testing her for some reason. The way Carol had asked her to leave them alone the day before…Could Miss Gerhard be mad at her for that? Therese paid close attention to class just in case she was asked to participate again, which fortunately didn’t happen.  
  
When the bell rang, Therese and Richard headed downstairs.

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to go out and explore the city next Saturday; I could show you around?” said Richard as they were reaching the main floor.

“Oh…I guess so, yes. I’ll have to check with - ”

“Excuse me, Miss Belivet. Could you see me in my office?”

Therese turned at the sound of the only voice she ever wanted to hear for the rest of her life. Carol stood there, looking down at Richard who was standing next to Therese, maybe too close.

“Oh yes, of- of course, Mrs. Aird…I mean Carol- yes, s-sorry…,” Therese started to stutter while looking at the floor to avoid both Carol’s and Richard’s stares.

Carol turned around and started to walk, Therese following her like a lost puppy. She didn’t turn around to look at Richard or say anything to him, leaving him confused about what had just happened. Once they were inside Carol’s office, Therese opened her mouth to speak again.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Carol…I didn’t mean to be disrespectful in front of Richard, it’s just that…”  
  
“It’s fine, Therese. I must have taken you by surprise…”, Carol gently interrupted as she approached her desk, sliding a hand on top of it, until she sat down, resting her chin in her palm, as she always seemed to do in front of Therese. The younger girl noticed that Carol had bought them lunch. Therese looked confused, unsure if it was for them to share. Carol seemed to read Therese’s mind.  
  
“You thought I was going to leave you starving again like yesterday? Please take a seat,” Carol gestured to a chair in front opposite her. Therese gulped and eased herself into the seat. Carol had bought them salad with iced tea.  
  
“I didn’t know what you like, or if you were vegetarian, so…”  
  
“It’s perfect, Carol…and I do eat meat.” Therese gave her a quick smile, feeling hot all of a sudden.  
  
“I’m glad to hear that.” Carol smirked.  
  
Therese felt the rest of the heat finally reaching her cheeks. In order to distract herself, and because she only had half an hour before her next class, she went straight to the point.  
  
“You wanted to talk to me about the exhibition?”  
  
“Yes, of course. I’m planning to make this exhibition about Diane Arbus. Are you familiar with her work?  
  
“No, I’m afraid I’m not.” Therese looked away, embarrassed. She thought Carol would think less of her for not knowing much about influencing photographers, and maybe she would regret asking for her help.  
  
“That’s even better.” Carol reassured her.  
  
“It is?” Therese asked softly, looking back at Carol to make sure she heard right.  
  
“Yes! I know too much, and I really need a pair of new eyes. A new point of view, to get out of the comfort zone and pick those photographs that have a story behind them. And I trust you to do that,” Carol smiled.  
  
“Why do you trust me with this? I’m sure there must be other people who know more than me.”  
  
“They aren’t as eager to learn as you are. You don’t take this opportunity lightly, and I want you to learn as much as possible, with or without me.”

Therese picked idly at her salad. She only wanted Carol to teach her and nobody else. But since that wasn’t possible, she wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass.  
  
“OK then. I’d love to help you. Should I start looking for photographs or-”  
  
“I already gathered them. I was hoping you could make an exception and come here on Saturday so we can look through them.” Carol leaned back in her chair. “The school will be mostly empty so we’ll be able to work in peace.”  
  
Therese remembered Richard’s proposal to tour around the city. She hadn’t said yes; she wasn’t really sure if she wanted to spend the day with him. Now she had a valid excuse to turn him down.  
  
“Yes, I’m not really doing anything. I’ll be here,” said Therese with a smile that made her dimples show.  
  
“Great!. I don’t want to sound like I’m kicking you out, but you have your next class in five minutes-”  
  
“Oh yes, true. It’s OK. Do you want me to help you with this?”, Therese asked pointing at the remains of her lunch.  
  
“I’ll be fine, darling. Go!”, Carol exclaimed, rushing Therese to hurry.  
  
“See you around and thanks for lunch, Carol,” Therese said shyly before waving at her. Her smile was the last thing she saw before heading for class.  


For her second Photography class, the teacher told them that they would be going outside to start practicing with cameras. They would be taking black and white photographs; Therese felt beyond excited. Since there weren’t enough cameras for everyone, they were split into three groups. Once outside the building, they headed to the park that was just a block away, the very same one Therese saw through the Starbucks window. The task was to capture city life. While the first group took pictures, the rest listened as the teacher gave them tips on framing and lighting. When it was finally Therese’s turn to take pictures, she loaded new film inside the camera. That film was only hers, so she had plenty of room to take some test shots. She noticed that a girl next to her was having trouble with loading hers.  
  
“Let me help you, I know these things can be tricky.”  
  
“Oh, thank you. You’re very kind. I’m Genevieve, by the way” said the dark haired girl  
  
“I’m Therese. You’re from France, right?”  
  
“Oui. I’m new in the city.”  
  
“Oh, me too; I know how it feels.”  
  
“Maybe we could do something one day, get to know the city better?” Therese could feel her eyes on her. She thanked that she was still busy with the film.  
  
“Sure, yes. There you go, it’s ready now.” Therese said as she have the camera back to Genevieve.  
  
“Thank you so much,” she said as she squeezed Therese’s arm.

Therese stood still for a moment, trying to figure out what had just happened. Maybe it was a common gesture in France, she thought. However, for her, it had felt too intimate - the whole interaction did. It took Therese a moment to compose herself before taking pictures. She was surrounded by nature, so she felt at home. She started to take pictures of trunks and leaves, with the city playing in the background. Then she moved to a group of children playing with a ball whilst adults were looking at their phones. As the sun was starting to set, she followed the ray of light that was hitting against the tall buildings behind her. Therese started to adjust the focus lens, when another source of light captured her sight. She was standing in a corner, in her red coat with a coffee in hand, smiling at Therese. She could see her deep blue eyes sparkling all the way from across the street. Therese focused her camera on her new muse and snapped the picture. The image of the woman in red, standing taller than the crystal buildings behind her, with cars passing by, yet the world seemed to freeze around her. An image that could not only belong here and now but also anywhere and at any time: [_And the sun on your face, I’m freezing that frame._](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBh3sd7iYPk&feature=youtu.be)  


As they were heading back to the school building, her phone started buzzing. She took it out of her pocket expecting it to be Dannie, but to her surprise, it was a text from an unknown number.  
  
Carol: I hope you don’t mind that I got your number without asking you first… but now that I think about it, you got something from me without permission...  
  
Therese: I don’t mind at all. And I’d gladly return it, whatever it is that I took.  
  
Carol: Oh, we’ll see about that.  
  
Therese couldn’t stop grinning at the screen. She suddenly realized that she was still surrounded by other people, so she put her phone back. The smile stayed, a little toned down, but stayed nonetheless for the rest of the day. As she opened the door to her apartment, she noticed a record laying on the floor. She picked it up - it was [“Little Earthquakes”](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61E%2B450EYyL._SL1425_.jpg) by Tori Amos, attached was a note on it from Dannie: _Hope she will guide you through this new exciting stage of your life. Love, -D._

While she waited for the food she had ordered to arrive, she put the record on and immersed herself in the lyrics: [She's been everybody else's girl. Maybe one day she'll be her own.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boNX-dl7VXc)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Thank you for all the lovely comments you left on the previous chapter, it made my heart beyond happy. You keep my inspiration flowing.
> 
> The quote "And the sun on your face, I’m freezing that frame” belongs to the song "Gold Dust" by Tori Amos. I'd love you to listen to it while or after your read that passage. The description of Carol on that phograph was inspired by this song. If this story had a soundtack, this would be it. I will refernce these lyrics in the future, so keep it close to your heart :) Be sure to check it out by clicking on the underlined words.
> 
> Special thanks to Kay for beta reading :)
> 
> As you could see, Tori Amos made a huge impact in my life. This story, this writing, exists in a way because of her influence. Let me know if you like her music! And the chapter! :)
> 
> Links to the songs in the lyric quote


	9. Inside her world

It was Saturday morning. Carol had texted Therese the previous night to let her know that they would be meeting at 10:00 AM. That gave Therese a few more hours of rest. Now, as she was getting ready to leave, she decided to take her camera with her. After that picture she had taken of Carol a few days ago, she felt the need to take more. Carol had become her muse.  
  
She arrived at school right on time. She noticed that the receptionist wasn’t there to greet her like she did every week day. The building was more quiet than usual. She grabbed her phone to text Carol to let her know she was there.  
  
Therese: I’m here. Where are you?  
  
A few minutes passed until Carol replied.  
  
Carol: Sorry, I was driving. I’m parking the car a few blocks away. Be there in 5. Wait in my office ;)  
  
Therese smiled widely. She was glad that she was alone this time. She headed to Carol’s office, which was unlocked. The morning sun was coming through the window, giving the space a special glow, just like its owner. She took her coat and bag off and left them on the chair she had sat on before. She took her camera out to capture the light entering the room. She decided to take advantage of Carol’s delay and examine her office, her things. She went to the bookshelf standing near the window first. She ran her hand through the big volumes that belonged to different photographers, decades, or styles. She was a stranger to most of the names, making her aware again of how much she still had to learn in a short time. She then moved to Carol’s desk. It was full of papers, folders, more books and frames. One photograph caught her attention so she took it with one hand, camera still in the other. It was a framed picture of a little girl who looked just like Carol around the eyes. Her hair was brown, unlike Carol’s. Therese was so concentrated on it that she didn’t see Carol standing at the door.  
  
“That’s Rindy,” said Carol, leaning on the doorframe. Therese jumped, almost dropping her camera.  
  
“Carol! I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have gone through your things,” said Therese nervously as she put the frame back to its original place on the desk.  
  
“It’s fine, Therese,” said Carol as she approached with a smile. Therese finally looked at her. She was wearing more [casual clothes](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/08/01/article-2712845-2029607100000578-407_634x1210.jpg) this time: tight black jeans that accentuated her toned legs, black long-sleeve t-shirt tucked in, and boots. She had added some gold chains around her neck. The outfit made her slim figure and pale skin stand out even more. She was wearing less makeup, her face glowing naturally. She had her hair in a low bun, with a few strands loose around her face. Therese hoped she wasn’t being too obvious staring at her.  
  
“She’s beautiful,” said Therese looking at the frame again. She wished she could have said _You are beautiful, Carol_ instead.  
  
“She’s a sunshine, isn’t she?” said Carol, now standing next to Therese. They both looked at the frame. Therese breathed in Carol’s perfume; it was like a drug she had become addicted to. It numbed all of her senses but at the same time made her more aware of the closeness to Carol. Therese felt stuck, unable to move. She closed her eyes. She wanted to stay like that forever, feeling Carol’s warmth, her breathing, her light. Therese was brought back to reality by Carol’s voice.  
  
“Did you like anything else?” asked Carol, now looking at Therese. Therese felt those eyes burning the side of her face like a laser. Unable to remain close, she walked to the bookshelf she had observed before. Now that she was a few feet away from Carol, she dared to look back at her.  
  
“I like your books. You have so many. I hope that one day I’ll be able to have as many,” said Therese with a smile.  
  
“I’m sure you will. Now, would you help me clear some space so we can start?” said Carol, pointing to her desk. Therese approached, standing opposite to Carol this time. She rested her camera on the desk.  
  
“Is that yours?” asked Carol, pointing at the camera with her head.  
  
“Yes. Actually it belonged to my father. It’s the only thing I have left from him,” said Therese resting a hand on it, with a sad look on her face.  
  
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” said Carol. She leaned over and put her fingers under Therese’s chin until their eyes locked. She caressed Therese’s jaw with her thumb as she spoke.  
  
“I’m sure it’s very special to you, making the pictures you take with it even more so.” Therese, unable to speak, just nodded with her head. Carol removed her hand to continue clearing the desk. It took a minute for Therese to get back at it. They cleared the papers and folders. Some of the books were actually on Diane Arbus. Most of the pages were marked. There was a stack of pictures on top. Carol started to spread them across the desk as she began to talk.  
  
“Arbus was recognized for her work to normalize marginalized groups: members of the LGBTQ community, strippers, carnival performers, nudists, dwarves, children, mothers, couples, elderly people, and more. She believed in the importance of proper representation of all kinds of people …”  
  
Therese could barely look at the pictures Carol was referring to. Her attention was on Carol, and on how breathtaking she looked in that moment. The sunlight was hitting one side of her face, as she was slightly turned to her left while she was going through the photographs on her desk. She was so immersed in her speech. Her passion for photography, and especially people, was evident. Therese picked up her camera to capture Carol in her essence.  
  
“Oh God, don’t!” said Carol, covering her face with one hand. “I look a fright!”  
  
“You don’t!” said Therese as she grabbed Carol’s wrist to uncover her face. “You look won-” Therese stopped herself before finishing the sentence. She felt she was already overstepping by grabbing her wrist.  
  
“Please, just one more,” said Therese, her eyes begging.  
  
“You are … something, Belivet,” said Carol with a breathy tone. She leaned on her left side, resting her right hand and chin on her left shoulder. She gave a slight smile to the camera. Therese took a few steps back to frame her behind the desk surrounded by photographs. The shot was perfect. Therese smiled back as she approached her bag to put her camera away.  
  
“Happy now?” said Carol playfully.  
  
“Very much so,” answered Therese. She now took a seat as she started to take a closer look at each photograph.  
  
“This is probably Arbus’ most famous picture. As you can see, they are [identical twins](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/58/39/29/58392902d5546a352f2310e9e06526b3.jpg), but she was able to capture their differences. She was able to tell their truth.”  
  
“It’s amazing, Carol. You can really see what makes each of them unique. I wish I could take pictures these good one day …”  
  
“I’m sure of it. You already have an eye for that, to frame people in their element,” said Carol with a wink. Therese blushed, knowing Carol was referring to her session from a few minutes ago.  
  
Therese continued to look at the photographs. Even though she felt Carol was observing her every move, it was better than having to look at her directly. Therese liked the pictures that represented circus life the most. Those people considered as “freaks” by society became the center of Arbus’ work. With her lens, she was able to transform those weaknesses into strength. Deep inside, Therese felt very close to this. Her life as an orphan had made her feel as some kind of freak, as if she had fallen through the cracks of society. It was a reality people didn’t like to talk about, and if they did it was out of pity. Therese used to think that she would always be limited by that fact; forced to remain in the shadows. But then she discovered photography and it showed her that a new life was possible for her, a life full of chances. A life that had Carol in it, and that alone made it already worth living. She smiled at herself. She just couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have Carol’s support, but she also wished to have more than that. She felt a strong feeling for her that intensified every time she was near her. She had never loved someone before, so she wasn’t sure if this was it. She felt scared. This was all too new, but she knew she had to give herself the chance to feel, whatever this feeling may be. It made her happy, more than happy and she hadn’t felt like that in a long, long time.  
  
After minutes of going through every picture, Therese finally decided on her favorite ones. She made a stack and handed them to Carol. Among them was a picture of a [woman sitting on a bed](https://www.americansuburbx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Seated-transvestite-with-crossed-ankles-N.Y.C.-1966.jpg), a [girl jumping with a rope](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CnwM_zUWAAAHrJh.jpg), a [woman standing on the street](https://loeildelaphotographie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ec45edac025f4c7178109aea0371e037.jpg), a [woman with a baby monkey](https://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.saam.media/files/styles/max_650x650/s3/images/2017-12/1986.41.1_recto.jpg?itok=CuTNpZY7), and a [Drag Queen](https://anotherimg-dazedgroup.netdna-ssl.com/480/azure/another-prod/380/3/383845.jpg). She knew Dannie would love that one. Carol went through them in silence, with a serious look. Therese felt nervous, almost sick. She didn’t want to fail at the task Carol had given her. When Carol finally finished, she looked at Therese with a smile that grew slowly into a grin.  
  
“These are perfect, Therese. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.” Just when Therese was about to say something back, they were abruptly interrupted by a man walking in. Carol’s expression changed drastically. She was tense.  
  
“Harge, what are you doing here?” asked Carol with a nervous tone.  
  
“I work here, remember? I don’t think I need an excuse to come to your office,” said Harge harshly. He barely acknowledged Therese sitting there, frozen by the sudden change of events.  
  
“Therese, just leave us alone please,” said Carol in an equally harsh way, pointing with her hand to the door. Therese looked at her with watery eyes, scared of the person who was looking back at her. She wasn’t Carol, her Carol anymore. She grabbed her things quickly and left before she started to cry in front of them. She ran to the front door. She needed air. She felt like a fish suffocating without water. Once outside, she rested her back on the cold building, trying to catch her breath. Now she let her tears fall freely. She felt a sharp pain in her chest. Carol’s coldness had made a hole through Therese. It was hard to understand why she was feeling like this. She decided that she wasn’t emotionally stable to take the bus, she just wanted to get home as fast as possible. In that moment she remembered the last time she had cried, and who had been there for her. She took her phone and called the number she never thought she would call again.  
  
“Hi Rami. It’s Therese, the girl you picked at the airport some weeks ago. I was wondering if you were free and by any chance near Battery Park … ” said Therese between sobs.  
  
“Oh hi Therese. Yes, I’m actually a few minutes away. I’m coming right up. Is everything OK?” asked the man worried.  
  
“Yes, yes. I’ll be waiting outside. I’m sending you the location. Thank you,” said Therese and hung up to text him. She tried to compose herself before he arrived. Just two minutes later she saw him arrive. She got in the taxi.  
  
“It’s good to see you again, Therese,” said the man with a warm smile.  
  
“It’s good to see you, too. Even though I’m always crying when you do,” said Therese, trying to force a smile, which only made her cry.  
  
“Whatever happened today, everything is going to be fine. You are a good kid, Therese.” And like the first time, they continued the trip in silence. When they arrived at her place, Therese paid him. He gave her an acknowledging smile before she got out.  
  
Therese ran up the stairs but instead of going to her apartment, she knocked on Dannie’s door.  
  
“Therese, what’s wrong? What happened?” asked Dannie when she saw Therese with red eyes standing at his door. She stepped forward and fell into his arms, burying her face in his chest and starting to cry again. Dannie began to rub her back to make her calm down. Once Therese stopped crying, he led her inside his apartment, to the living room. When Therese was about to sit down she realized that Tom was also there.  
  
“I’m sorry Dannie, I didn’t know you were busy. I should have texted you …” said Therese in a motion to get up again but Dannie placed a hand on her shoulder to make her sit down again.  
  
“Don’t worry, Terry. It’s fine. We’re here for you now. Tell us what happened.”  
  
“I’m going to get you some water,” said Tom as he went to the kitchen. He came back shortly after with a glass of water. Therese finished it in one go. When she finally felt calm, she started to speak.  
  
“I went to school to help Carol with the exhibition, like I told you. I arrived in her office before she did. I was so happy to be among her things, to get a closer look into her life. When she finally arrived, God she was so beautiful as always. She dressed and looked more … relaxed. Even happy? She started to talk about the photographer we were going to work with … and Dannie she was so captivating as she talked, she had this special glow. I grabbed my camera and took a picture of her. She acted surprised but in a way, she seemed to like it. I almost said she looked wonderful, can you believe it?” said Therese, catching her breath, for she had spoken without a pause. She continued without looking at Dannie.  
  
“So I started to go through the pictures as she had told me, picking those I thought told a story. I gave them back to them. When she was done looking at them, she told me they were perfect. She was so happy. I felt so proud for making her feel that way … and when I was about to say something her ex-husband arrived. He was so rude. Carol’s mood changed … she became so cold when she asked me to leave. It-it hurt so much, Dannie.” Therese covered her face and started to cry once again.  
  
“It’s OK, Terry. Did she talk to you after that?” asked Dannie rubbing her shoulder.  
  
“No. I just ran off. I didn’t want to stay there. I called a taxi and came right here.”  
  
“I get why you ran away. I bet it must have been an awkward situation, but I’m sure Carol didn’t mean to be like that with you. That ex-husband sounds like an asshole,” said Tom.  
  
“Yeah, and Carol just wanted to save you from that. She didn’t do it in the best manner though. You didn’t do anything wrong, OK?” said Dannie as he grabbed Therese’s face and looked at her. Therese just nodded. Dannie wiped her tears with her thumbs. In that moment, Therese’s phone started to ring. She took it out of her pocket. It was Carol calling. She sat there staring at the screen, unable to move. Dannie looked at the screen.  
  
“Therese, it’s her! Go now and talk to her!” he said, lifting Therese by the arm and pushing her to the door. Once he closed the door, Therese answered the call.  
  
“Hi …” said Therese, almost in a whisper.  
  
“I was awful earlier at school. You didn’t deserve that, not after everything you did for me. Would you please forgive me?”  
  
“Yes, I forgive you Carol. It’s just that ...” She rested her back on her door, unsure of what she was going to say next. Her heart was beating out of her chest.  
  
“What, Therese?” asked Carol, lowering her voice.  
  
“I want to ask you things … but I’m not sure you’d want that.”  
  
“You can ask me things, Therese. I want you to know you can trust me.”  
  
“OK,” said Therese, relieved.  
  
“I’d like to make it up to you by taking you to dinner next Saturday,” said Carol in her usual flirt tone.  
  
“Next Saturday? It’s my bir-”  
  
“Birthday. I know. That’s why I want to make it special. I hope you don’t have plans already,” said Carol, sounding doubtful.  
  
“No, I don’t have any plans,” said Therese with a grin on her face.  
  
“Well then, it’s set. I’ll let you know where we’re going during the week. Thank you Therese for today and I’m sorry again.”  
  
“It’s OK, Carol. I had a nice time helping you. I’ll see you around.”  
  
“Yes. See you around, Therese.”  
  
They hung up. Therese felt like her heart was going to come out of her chest, not able to contain the happiness she was feeling. She slid down the door until she hit the floor, holding her phone to her chest. She was going to have dinner with Carol, for her birthday. She had always hated that day, but now she just couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I'm sorry this took longer to update. I had a busy week and this chapter required some research. Also the new season of The OA was released and I had to binge watch it!  
> I want to thank Beate and Ansi for helping me pick the Daine Arbus pictures they thought Therese would pick :) Be sure to check them by clicking on the underlined words! 
> 
> Also many thanks to belair82 for all your recommendations. Thanks to her all chapters will be beta read by the Goddess herself Ligeria. You are both my angels! 
> 
> Thank you for all your support as always. I still have more to learn, but thanks to all of you I'm getting better at it :)


	10. Birthday Girl

The past week had passed extremely slowly for Therese. She was nervous and anxious about her dinner date with Carol. She had sent a text on Tuesday to let her know that she would be picking her up at 7:00. Carol had gotten tickets to the opening of the Diane Arbus exhibition at MoMa. After that, they would go for dinner. When Therese told Dannie about this, he started to panic about what she was going to wear. _It’s a fancy date, Therese!_ he said, and of course he was going to find the perfect outfit for her.

On Wednesday, Therese was finally able to reveal the photographs she had taken the week before, including that very special picture of Carol. She made two copies of it, one to give to Carol and the other for herself. She wasn’t sure if she was going to include it in her portfolio, fearing her adoration for the Museum’s Director would be too obvious. Miss Gerhard seemed to make truce with Therese since she didn’t expose her in front of the class again, and on top of that she had gotten a very good grade on a pop quiz. Miss Gerhard even smiled at her once. Could it be all Carol’s influence? Therese had decided not to tell Richard about her upcoming birthday. She just wanted to spend it with close ones: Dannie, Tom, and Carol.

* * *

 

Saturday finally arrived. It was Therese’s 19th birthday. She woke up, for the first time since she had lost her parents, happy. She could hardly believe how much her life had changed in a year. She found herself now in a new country, studying what she loved, surrounded by a newfound family and love. Things she had never imagined happening to her. She felt like a completely different person. She was independent, with a goal in life. She had started to listen to her inner voice, to get to know herself and mostly, allow herself to feel new things without judgement. She knew about technology and dressed like a young girl her age, with her own clothes. She walked out in the world knowing that her past was no longer an impediment, a limitation. She felt proud of the woman she was becoming, and she had to thank Dannie for that so much. He was the brother she had always needed, someone to tell her that she was good enough, always there to support her. Tom was also important to her, because he made Dannie happy. Seeing their relationship, and how loving and caring they were for each other had taught Therese a different type of love; or just what love really was about: two people loving each other, regardless of their gender. As beings, we all seek that special connection, a connection that is bigger than us, that makes us whole again, that feels like home. A light shining in the middle of the darkness. And Therese wanted that; she needed it. It was the missing piece to complete her. She had suffered alone for so long, now she deserved happiness.

Therese got out of bed with a smile on her face to get herself ready. Dannie and Tom were going to take her to a fancy Café for breakfast. Later they would go around Central Park and have a little picnic for lunch. The weather seemed to be on her side since it was beautifully sunny outside. It was around 8:00 when Dannie and Tom finally arrived.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TERRY!” they both screamed at the same time. They went in for a big hug. Therese almost lost her balance. She hugged them back.

“Thank you so much guys. I’m so happy you are here!” said Therese with a wide smile.

“Well, it’s not like we had much of a choice, right Tom?” said Dannie in a playful tone. Therese gave him a light punch on his arm while she laughed.

“You love me too much, admit it! I’m the sister you never had.”

“Yes. And I’m the brother you always deserved,” said Dannie in response. Therese went for his hand and gave it a squeeze. Once they were inside the apartment, Therese realized they were carrying presents. Dannie and Tom gave each other a look and a smile.

“You go first, _brother_ ,” said Tom, patting Dannie’s back. He stepped closer to Therese.

“I hope they are your size,” said Dannie, handing her a fancy black and white bag. Therese took it and went to the couch to open it comfortably. Once she opened the box, she found the most beautiful [shiny red heels](http://ladyviolette.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/IMG_1042.jpg) she had ever seen. They reminded her of the ones from The Wizard of Oz. Dannie must have remembered it was her favorite film as a child. She stared at them, fighting tears from falling.

“So you can always find your way home,” said Dannie. Therese got up and gave him a warm hug.

“Thank you so much, Dannie! They are a dream. Oh, you shouldn’t have …”

“It’s my pleasure, Terry. When I saw them I knew I had to get them … plus they didn’t have them in my size!” They all laughed.

“OK, my turn now!” said Tom, giving Therese his present. It was a bigger box so Therese placed it on the floor to open it. It contained an [emerald green faux fur coat](https://prodv2.na-kd.com/globalassets/rut_long_faux_fur_coat_1031-005601-0570_01j.jpg?ref=EEF4A08988). It was so soft and warm. She took it to her cheek to feel its softness.

“Tom! This is so beautiful! And it’s green, I love it.” She stood up to give Tom a big hug as well.

“Thank you so much, really. I don’t know what to say …”

“Don’t say anything because there’s one more present,” said Dannie, extending the third bag together with Tom.

“Whaaat…?” said Therese in surprise.

“OPEN IT!” Therese placed the third present on the floor as well. Once she got rid of all the wrapping paper, her jaw dropped when she saw what was at the bottom of the box. She carefully took the also [emerald green dress](https://www.worldcelebritydress.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1210x1818/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/o/rooney_mara_the_27th_annual_santa_barbara_film_festival_green_short_mini_dress__2.jpg) in her hands. It was sleeveless and knee length. It looked so elegant and expensive. She had never owned anything like it before. Therese could no longer hold back her tears. She quickly returned the dress to the box to protect it. She stood there on the floor overwhelmed by the love of her friends.

“We wanted you to look like the princess you are tonight,” said Tom.

“You deserve only the best, Terry. You’ve been through a lot already, so it’s time to enjoy, all right?” said Dannie, helping Therese up.

“I-I’m so happy. I feel my heart is going to explode. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“For instance, you wouldn’t be going to one of the most exclusive cafes in the city. Tom here was able to get us a breakfast reservation but we have to hurry now or we’ll lose it,” said Dannie, fixing Therese’s hair and wiping her tears.

“Oh OK! I’m sorry, let’s go.”

They arrived at Café Sabarsky at 9:00, right on time. It was an Austrian cafe that also held art exhibitions from the most prestigious artists. The food they had ordered was delicious. They had toast, muffins, crepes, pastries, Bavarian Sausages and Pretzels, and coffee and orange juice for drink. After that, they checked out the art exhibition. Most of the paintings belonged to Austrian painters, from landscapes to self-portraits. Therese felt very inspired. She had never seen art this close. Next, they walked to Central Park, which wasn’t very far away. Therese couldn’t hold her amazement. It was like stepping into another world, another dimension. A forest in the middle of the city. They walked around the lake, and they even fed the ducks with some bread they had taken from the cafe. Therese had brought her camera with her since she always loved taking pictures outdoors. She took pictures of the lake and of Dannie and Tom feeding the ducks. Dannie even asked her to pose for one.

They continued their walk until they reached the [Alice in Wonderland statue](https://media.timeout.com/images/103901449/630/472/image.jpg). Therese loved that story as a child. Like Alice, Therese hoped she could fall into a rabbit hole that would take her back to a life with her parents, to happy times. The rose bush always reminded her of her mother. This time she asked Dannie to take a picture of her and the statue. He took one with her phone as well. Right at that moment, Therese got a text from Carol.

Carol: Happy birthday, dear Therese! I hope you’re enjoying your day so far. See you tonight.

Therese felt butterflies in her stomach when she read the word “dear”. Carol was not only thinking about her in that moment, but she had also called her “dear”. She replied to Carol, attaching the picture Dannie had just taken of her.

Therese: I am actually. Hanging out with my friend Alice :) Can’t wait until tonight

Carol: You look adorable, like out of a fairytale itself.

Therese could have melted right on the spot, if it wasn’t for Dannie’s inquisitive look. He didn’t ask since he already knew who it was making Therese blush. Since they were all still full from breakfast, they decided to sit down under some trees and just enjoy the warm sun that was blessing them that day, considering that they had had colder days. Therese rested her head on Dannie’s lap and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She had more that she could had ever imagined. She knew that she didn’t have all the time in the world, since her visa would expire after a year, but she was determined to do anything to be able to stay permanently. She wasn’t going to let this life, this family or love get away from her.

They arrived home around 5:00, two hours before Carol would pick up Therese. Therese had a nice long bath to relax; now that the time was getting close, she was starting to feel anxious. Dannie dried her hair and put it in a tight bun. Therese did her makeup, putting extra work to it by adding some black eyeliner, blush and pink lipstick. She put on her green dress and red shoes, which fit like a glove. She couldn’t recognize the girl in the mirror; the eyes were the same, but everything around her exuded confidence.

She waited with Dannie and Tom in the living room. It was finally 7:00. She was waiting for a text from Carol to tell her she was downstairs. A few more minutes passed and nothing. Therese started to get nervous. Just when she was about to text her to check where she was, there was a knock on the door. The three of them looked at each other. Therese got up but she almost lost balance; her legs felt like jelly. She finally arrived at the door. She took a deep breath before opening it.

There she was. The most beautiful woman in the world was standing in front of her. She was wearing a long, plain [red dress](https://www.worldcelebritydress.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1210x1818/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/c/a/cate-blanchett-vogue-australia-01.jpg) with a matching red coat on top. The dress had a deep cleavage that she adorned with three rows of pearls around her neck. Her hair was loose and had more defined waves than usual. She had a light smokey eye that highlighted her blue eyes even more; she also wore red lipstick and nails to match her dress. And that perfume that was so Carol. Therese was speechless. She stood there, unable to move.

“Your landlord let me in. Are you going to stand there all night?” said Carol with a cheeky tone. She was very aware of the effect she was having on Therese.  

“I’m sorry, please come in,” Therese said, waking up from her spell. Carol stepped in and passed her, leaving her fragrance behind.

“Oh hello there. I’m Carol,” heard Therese. She quickly joined Carol by standing behind her.

“This is Dannie, my neighbor. And that’s Tom, his boyfriend,” said Therese, stuttering.

“Very nice to finally meet you, Carol. We’ve heard so much about you,” said Dannie, shaking his hand. Tom following.

“All good things I hope,” said Carol while she turned to look at Therese to wink at her. Therese’s face went red. She tried to hide it by looking at her feet.

“Of course. I think you should go before this one here combusts,” Dannie said playfully.

“And we certainly wouldn’t want that, not on her birthday,” said Carol, following along. “Let’s get going then.” Therese put on her green coat and grabbed her bag. When they were heading to the door with Carol leading the way, she couldn’t help but smile. They were wearing complimenting colors.

Once in Carol’s car, Therese’s phone buzzed.

Dannie: OMFG! She’s a Goddess. WOW! If I didn’t love Tom so much I’d be so jealous right now. Have fun, Terry. AND DON’T DIE.

Therese felt another wave of nerves. She was sitting next to a Goddess. She didn’t dare to look at her. She kept her eyes on the road ahead of them, trying to even her breathing. They drove in silence.

“Still with me?” asked Carol.

“Yes,” answered Therese with a smile.

The event was full of people, so much that they were forced to remain very close to each other. They moved from one room to another, admiring the different artists and their work. Carol seemed to know every photograph on display, as well as the story behind it. It was like attending a private class. Therese was transfixed. She wanted to pay attention to what Carol was saying, but having her so close to her made it impossible. She just wanted to look at those eyes for the rest of the night. Once the exhibition was over, they headed for the door. People were crowding together, bumping into them. Carol grabbed Therese’s hand to keep her close. Therese felt a tingle in the tip of her fingers that quickly spread across her body. She felt like she was floating in a sea of people. She held on to Carol as if her life depended on it. When they made it outside, Carol let go of her. Therese almost cried at the loss of contact, but the night still had more to promise, so she composed herself.

Carol had made a reservation at The Modern restaurant, which was walking distance from the museum. It had an overlooking view of the MoMA’s Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Sculpture Garden. The inside of the restaurant was so dazzling, Therese couldn’t believe her eyes. It felt like a dream walking through that magnificent place next to Carol. _This is what heaven must look like,_  she thought. Shortly after they sat at the table, the waiter came to take their order.

“What would you like to order?” asked Carol, looking at Therese.

Therese looked confused at the menu. All of the dishes sounded elegant. She hardly understood what they were. She started to feel anxious for not being able to decide.

“I suggest the cream spinach soup with poached egg as a start,” said the waiter, smiling at Therese, coming to her rescue.

“That sounds lovely. Please make it two,” said Carol looking at the waiter. “Would you like some wine, Therese?” asked Carol, looking back at her.

“Yes, that’s fine,” she replied. She had tried wine once in her life at the orphanage. One of the nuns liked to have a glass of red at night. She now felt nervous about having it again, since she knew it made her feel naughty, but in a good way. The waiter left with their order.

“So …” Carol said, adjusting to her favorite position: both hands under her chin looking straight at Therese. “I hope you are having a nice birthday.”

“Yes, Carol. More than nice. The whole day has been incredible. I’ve never had a birthday like this, so full of wonderful things,” she said with a dimpled smile.

“I’m pleased to hear that. Hopefully I’m part of those wonderful things …”

“Of course you are,” she said. _You are the most wonderful thing_ , she thought. They looked at each other until the waiter came back with food and drinks. They started to eat in order to ease the tension that had built between them. The soup was delicious. Therese took a sip of the wine, which was surprisingly sweet. She took a drink. The alcohol didn’t take long to start making its effect and loosen Therese a bit.

“Tell me more about you. What made you choose photography?” asked Therese.

“I was initially into art, paintings. I took a course on art curator at college. It wasn’t until I met Harge that I discovered photography. After we married, he got involved with the school. They needed a director for the museum so he thought I would be good for the job. Photographs are similar to paintings in a way. There’s a lot of emotion and composition involved in both processes.”

“Would you like to go back to art one day?”

“Maybe. Who knows? I’m very happy where I am right now,” Carol said, giving her a smile.

“You have Abby there.”

“Yes, that’s true. I’d miss her terribly, but she wouldn’t be the only thing I’d miss,” said Carol, looking straight into her eyes. Therese almost choked on her soup. She felt warm all of the sudden.

“What do you plan to do after you finish school?” continued Carol.

“I don’t know. I mean, my visa is only for a year. I’d really like to stay here longer. This is my home now. But I don’t know how could I stay,” said Therese with a sad look.

“There’s always a way. It’s not easy, but not impossible either. We’ll think of something,” said Carol in a reassuring tone. Therese felt more at ease. She trusted Carol, and if she said there was a way, she was certain of it.

“Oh by the way, I have something for you.” Therese took an envelope out of her purse, handing it to her. Carol opened it, revealing the picture Therese had taken of her standing at the street.

“Therese … it’s beautiful,” said Carol, admiring the picture.

“It couldn’t be anything less with you in it.” Therese was surprised at the words that came from her mouth. She felt she had gone too far, but fortunately, Carol didn’t take it that way.

“Thank you, Therese. I’ll treasure it. I’m sure one day these will be worth a fortune,” she said with a warm smile.

Even though Therese was full, Carol insisted on ordering a small portion of cake and asked to have a candle on it. Therese wished to keep having Dannie, Tom and Carol in her life before she blew it out.

The way back home was more relaxed. Therese allowed herself to steal glances of Carol. She still looked breathtaking. She wanted to grab her hand as they had done before, but instead she played with the string of her purse. After what only seemed a few minutes, they pulled up at Therese’s building. Therese didn’t want the night to end.

“I have one more thing before you go,” Carol said, reaching for a wrapped box in the back seat.

“Happy birthday, Therese,” she said as she placed the present in Therese’s lap. Therese was in shock. She truly didn’t expect anything else. The exhibition and the dinner had been magical. She knew Carol wouldn’t let her go so she started to open the box with shaky hands. Once she got rid of all the paper, she let out a small scream. Carol had bought her a [Leica camera](https://content.parkcameras.com/5/1/images/catalog/i/xl_78887-Leica-Vlux-Ty114-0005.jpg), one of the best cameras in the world.

“Carol … this is too much, I can’t possibly accept this …” she said in a shaky voice.

“Please, I want you to have it. I don’t mean to replace your father’s camera. I know how much it means to you. I just want you to expand your possibilities,” said Carol as she gently squeezed Therese’s hand.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Promise me you will never stop doing what you love.”

“I won’t,” said Therese with a wide smile. In that moment, Carol leaned closer to her, while placing a hand on Therese’s shoulder. She gave Therese a warm kiss on her check. Therese closed her eyes and held her breath for as long as it lasted. She could hear her heart beating in her ears. Carol’s perfume invaded all her senses. She leaned her head towards Carol, the tip of her nose brushing her soft skin. Her mind printed that moment forever.

“Goodnight, Therese,” Carol whispered in her ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I was so happy with the excitement shown for this new chapter. I had too much coffee in order to be able to give you this. I hope that I didn't dissapoint you. I want to thank Ligeria once again for beta reading it in such a short time!  
> I also want to welcome any new readers. Thank you for joining in. Your comments make me very happy :)


	11. Exhibition of Love

Therese got back into her apartment still shaking. She didn’t know how she managed to get up all the way, her mind still fuzzy. She walked to her bedroom in a trance. She didn’t bother to turn on the light as she started to strip off her clothes until she was completely naked. She got under the sheets and closed her eyes. Carol’s whispering voice was still sounding in her ear, her kiss still burning on her cheek, the adrenaline still running through her body. She let one hand travel all the way down between her legs. She was surprised to find a wetness around it which felt warm, felt good. She started to slide her fingers through her folds, becoming aware of how her body was reacting. Her heart started to beat faster, her breathing became jerky. She continued the movements, coating her fingers in the process. She led her other hand to one of her breasts, her index and middle finger going around her nipple with delicate motions until she felt it harden under her fingertips. For the first time she was becoming one with her body, sensing every cell awakening. She slid her finger back to her clit which reacted instantly to her touch. Therese let a gasp escape her mouth. She started to apply the same fingers and movements to her clit as she did with her nipple. Shorty, she found herself catching her breath, moans taking over. She let herself sink in completely to this sea of pleasure. She needed more, so she slid one finger inside her entrance, which showed resistance at first. She tried again, slowly getting used to the sensation, it soon turning into comfort. Her mind took her back to Carol, her fragrance, her deep blue eyes, those red lips. Her finger, no longer finding resistance, found its way in and out, causing waves of delight. Her body started to shake, her back arched; she was no longer in control. When she thought she could no longer hold herself together, little by little she started to come back down. _Carol_ , she whispered, before she succumbed to sleep.

* * *

  
  
Since Carol had given Therese that professional camera for her birthday, she was desperate to learn how to use it. She took it out of its box the next day but felt so overwhelmed by all its technology that she put it back again, afraid she would break something. Carol was right; she needed to expand her possibilities and learn new things. Therese knew she had to catch up with all the things the modern world had to offer her. Digital cameras and editing programs were part of all that. It would definitely help her find more jobs once she put herself out there. She needed as much experience as possible. She was lucky the school was offering a workshop for digital photography, which started on Wednesday.  
  
After her first session that Wednesday, Therese already knew how to work through the basic camera settings. It was mind-blowing to her how she no longer had to wait for the film to be developed to get to see the final result. This had its pros and cons: now she could see in just seconds how the shot turned out and if she needed to change or improve anything, but at the same time it took away the mystery and excitement to have the shots appear before you once the film was developed. Therese thought that by taking pictures with the digital camera, she could improve the process with her analogue one. Digital had many advantages, but film would always be her love.  
  
When she was about to head out of the building, she saw movement coming from the museum side. Men were carrying big panels and boxes. _The exhibition!_  she exclaimed to herself. She had totally forgotten about it. _How did those two weeks go by so fast?_ she thought. The pre-opening was going to take place tomorrow, with school authorities and students attending. The general public opening would be on the following Saturday. She had been trying to avoid bumping into Carol after what had happened in the car on her birthday, and more specifically in her bedroom. She felt guilty for having had those thoughts about Carol, but the desire had been stronger. She was afraid Carol would see past her.  
  
Therese couldn’t fight her curiosity any longer so she headed to where the men were coming from. She saw Carol talking to Miss Gerhard who was holding one of the printed Diane Arbus framed photographs against a wall. Miss Gerhard was the first to notice Therese standing there.  
  
“Look who we have here! Therese, please come help us. This one here is freaking out about the display,” she said, pointing her head to Carol.  
  
Had she just called her simply “Therese”? She was wondering from where this sudden feel of camaraderie had come from. Had Carol told Miss Gerhard about their date on Saturday? Or about their kiss? Of course she must have said something. Carol had said many times Miss Gerhard was a close friend. She started to feel nervous and more self-conscious about the whole thing.  
  
“Are you OK, Therese?” asked Miss Gerhard at the lack of response from Therese.  
  
“Yes, yes of course Miss Gerhard” Therese stepped forward, standing next to Carol without looking at her. She could see from the corner of her eye that Carol was looking at her with a beaming smile, but as Therese didn’t look back, she turned her face back to the front with a sad expression.  
  
“Please, call me Abby. Miss Gerhard makes me sound too serious, and old!” she beamed with a quick smile. “We can’t seem to decide on the right order in which the photographs should displayed. I know you already did a great job at choosing them so who better to sort them out.”  
  
“I think I can do that.” Therese looked at the framed photographs lined against the wall. She stood there a few minutes looking at each one. Once the idea was clear in her head, she started to rearrange them driven by the emotion she got from them, as she had done in the selecting process. She grouped those pictures she felt had the same feeling in common: nostalgia, love, pride, sadness. She stood up and stepped back to her original place once she finished.  
  
“Therese, you did it again. I’m speechless,” muttered Carol, looking at the new arrangement. “It’s perfect!”  
  
“It’s incredible how you are able to see past the freakiness and see the truth behind each of these people. You seem to have a deep understanding for her work. Congratulations!” added Abby, casting a proud smile.  
  
Therese, unable to say anything, just turned to look at them and gave a shy smile in return. She locked eyes with Carol for a few seconds, allowing herself to look at her for the first time in days. She was glowing. The white blouse she was wearing and the spotlights on the wall were making her look more angelic than ever. Her blue eyes were sparkling. It seemed that she had been waiting all this time for Therese to finally acknowledge her, to really look at her, and now that she had, she was radiating light. Abby must have noticed this silent exchange happening between them.  
  
“I think I’m no longer needed here. Thank you, Therese, for saving us. I’ll see you tomorrow in class,” she said, looking at Therese. “And be good, Carol.” She patted Carol’s shoulder before she left.  
  
“It was my pleasure Miss … sorry ... Abby! See you tomorrow, ” she responded quietly.  
  
She was now standing next to Carol. They were both alone in the building, the silence deafening. Carol turned to her.  
  
“Thank you again, Therese,” she said as she placed a hand on Therese’s arm and gave it a light squeeze. Therese jerked in surprise, the closeness of the touch bringing her back to that night. Her body reacted uncontrollably, as it always did around Carol.  
  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you feel uncomfortable. Please forgive me,” breathed Carol as she took her hand away from Therese and took a step backwards.  
  
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what made me do it.” She knew, but she wasn’t going to confess to Carol what was really going through her mind.  
  
“Everything is fine, please believe me,” begged Therese as she could see the hurt on Carol’s face. She stepped closer to her and searched for her eyes, which found hers. Therese slightly brushed her hand. Carol relaxed and smiled.  
  
“It’s getting late. I held you back. Do you want me to drive you home, or maybe would you like to have something to eat at my place?  
  
“I’d love that, yes,” answered Therese with a deep smile.  
  
  
  
Carol’s apartment was exactly like her: [elegant and pristine](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/61/53/a7/6153a78e15d29901e8e0d339e14c3038.png). It was very spacious, a lot bigger than Therese’s place. The furniture and decoration were modern but with some [art deco elements](https://cdn.decoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/art-deco-living-room-interior-design.jpg) to it, representing that duality Carol had between modern sophistication and classic glamour. There were lots of paintings and photographs hanging from the white walls. It was like walking into a private exhibition. She stood there observing each piece, fascinated by them. It was like looking at pieces of Carol, trying to figure out the puzzle that she was. Both the paintings and the pictures represented Carol’s passion.  
  
“Hey there, come sit or the food will get cold,” voiced Carol from the living room couch. They had bought Chinese on their way there. Therese headed to where she was sitting, noticing that Carol had added wine to their dinner. She sat down next to her, their knees slightly touching.  
  
“I thought we could celebrate before the opening tomorrow. I’d love you to be there but I understand if you can’t …”  
  
“I promised Dannie I would come by. I don’t think I can make it,” replied Therese, focusing on her food. She didn’t want to be confronted with school authorities, especially Mr. Aird. Not after what had happened the last time she saw him. She felt bad for letting Carol down though. They remained in silence for a short while.  
  
“Have you tried the new camera yet?” asked Carol in an attempt to change the mood.  
  
“Yes. Actually, I just started a workshop to learn how to use it. I’m very excited to start practicing more with it,” said Therese with an excited tone.  
  
“I’m so pleased to hear that. I’m sure you’re going to be great at it … Therese, you have sauce on your face. Let me help you,” said Carol as she leaned closer to Therese.  
  
She placed her hand on Therese’s face, her thumb rubbing the side of her mouth. Therese sat still, staring at her. The rubbing motion set all her cells on fire. She pressed her hand on top of Carol’s, holding her touch. She slightly turned her head towards it, closed her eyes and placed a kiss on Carol’s open palm. When she opened them again, Carol was looking at her with a mixture of surprise and affection on her face. They sat there like that, communicating what couldn’t be said with words. Carol brought Therese to her and locked her in a tight embrace. Therese rested her head on her shoulder. She could feel both of their heartbeats beating loudly as one. Carol gently ran her fingers through her hair. The tension was growing. Therese started to feel the urge to kiss Carol, to feel her lips on hers. Feel her softness, her warmth. She took a deep breath and broke the embrace abruptly. It was Carol’s turn now to stay still. Therese locked eyes with her while she placed both hands around her face. She could feel her heart beating at her throat. She started to move slowly towards Carol, until her lips crashed on hers. Just when Therese was about to remove them at Carol’s lack of response, Carol grabbed her by the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. She kissed Therese’s lower lip a few times before placing gentle kisses all around her mouth. They parted for a second to catch air, resting their foreheads together. Therese couldn’t control the buzz of that first kiss, her first kiss ever. She felt her body tingling all over. She was euphoric. She felt lightheaded. She went for one more kiss before they both regained posture. The euphoria was giving step to fear now. Tears started to form in Therese’s eyes. Carol held both her hands in hers.  
  
“Carol … I’m scared,” said Therese between sobs.  
  
“I know, darling, I’m scared too. For many reasons, but the truth is I can’t control this feeling anymore, and neither can you.”  
  
“I’ve tried, Carol, but every time I’m near you, my body feels magnetized by you. I need to touch you, to feel you.” Therese covered her face at this confession.  
  
“I feel the same, darling. I can barely keep my hands off you.” Carol emphasized this by taking Therese’s hands off her face and gently wiping her tears.  
  
“What are we going to do?” asked Therese.  
  
“I don’t know, Therese. We have lot at stake, especially you. But one thing I’m sure: I won’t let you waste your education. You have so much potential, so much to learn still. I would never forgive myself if I’m the reason that’s taken away from you.”  
  
“Carol, but I want you. For the first time in my life, I know what I want. And that’s you,” she implored.  
  
“You’re too young to understand this. Your life is just starting; you have so much to experience. I’m nothing compared to all that.”  
  
“You’re my everything, Carol! Please, don’t say this! Don’t push me away!”  
  
“If I’m honest, I don’t think I would be able to, not while I’m around you. What I’m trying to make you understand is that we have to be very careful. OK?”  
  
Therese simply nodded in response, more tears starting to fall. She knew that if she followed her heart, she was putting her education in danger, and not only that but also her stay in the country. She could lose it all, but she felt that denying her feelings for Carol was a greater loss. Life would be meaningless. They embraced again for a while, until Therese regained her calmness.  
  
Carol placed a warm kiss on her forehead, and one last on her lips. “I’m going to call you a cab to take you home,” she said before getting up.

  
  
Therese could barely get any sleep at night. She kept waking up, her mind taking her back to Carol’s apartment. She was torn between the feeling of knowing that Carol felt the same way about her, but at the same time, it came with a sense of danger. The magical memory of their first kiss was quickly tainted by guilt and fear every time. When her alarm went off, she had been long awake. She decided not to go to school. She wasn’t in the right emotional or physical state to attend. She felt sick. She grabbed her phone and texted Dannie. _I NEED YOU._  Half an hour later he was knocking at her door.  
  
“I came as soon as I saw the text. What happened? Why aren’t you at school?”  
  
“Dannie … we kissed!”  
  
“You did what?” he exclaimed, heading to the couch to take a seat. Therese joined him.  
  
“We did, and it was magical! She feels the same way – I still can’t believe it!”  
  
“That’s great, Terry! I’m happy for you. Why aren’t you?” he asked, noticing Therese’s concern.  
  
“It’s just that it’s complicated. For both of us. We could get in trouble for this … I could be kicked out of school and sent back.”  
  
“I know it is. It’s not the ideal situation for both of you and I’m sorry for that. But trying to fight what you’re feeling, what you’re both feeling, is not the best solution. What did she say?”  
  
“That she wouldn’t be able to control it either, but she also doesn’t want me to lose my education,” she explained. “I don’t know what to do, Dannie. It hurts.”  
  
“Terry, everything is going to be fine. Just be very careful, OK? Take it slow. Get to know each other. I’ve got you. And if you ever need a wingman, I’m here for you,” said Dannie with a smile.  
  
“There’s one more thing. Today’s the pre-opening of the exhibition Carol and I worked for. I’m not sure if I should go …” Therese hesitated.  
  
“Of course you’re going! You worked so hard for it. You deserve to be there. Plus Carol will worry more about you if you don’t go.”  
  
“I already told her that I wasn’t going. I told her I was going to hang out with you.”  
  
“Uh uh, you’re not turning that Goddess against me! You are going to that exhibition tonight or I’ll drag you there myself!”  
  
They spent the rest of the morning cuddling while watching TV. Dannie had that power to make anything bad disappear and gain the confidence she needed once again. Around noon she got a text from Carol.  
  
Carol: Abby told me you didn’t go to class today. Please let me know you’re fine.  
  
Therese could sense the worry tone in Carol’s message. She felt bad for making her feel like that.  
  
Therese: I’m fine. I didn’t sleep last night. Too much in my head. Good luck tonight!  
  
Carol: You did this. I’ll miss you. :(

  
  
That’s what Therese needed to make up her mind. She put on a simple [black dress](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b0/ab/71/b0ab71bde5fa8356ed38611469f0d8c6.jpg), black leggings and boots. She got in a taxi and headed to school. The exhibition started at 7:00, so she decided to make time since she didn’t want to be on time and be seen by Carol beforehand. Her plan was to stand in the back of the crowd and remain invisible. She stayed outside on the street, at the opposite corner of the school. When she saw that no more people were going in, she started to walk towards the building. She entered as quietly as possible. The cafeteria part was dark; all the light was coming from the museum side. She could hear the crowd murmuring. She recognized some of the students from other advanced classes present there. She was hoping Richard wasn’t around, she didn’t want to talk to anybody except for Carol if the opportunity arose. The crowd went quiet all of the sudden. Therese couldn’t see what was happening in the front because of her height, but in that moment she was thankful for it. Her voice was like a balm for Therese as Carol started to speak.  
  
“Good evening everyone. Thank you for being here tonight. Like every year, we try to come with exhibitions that will stir something in the viewer. Like the best art, photography must be provocative, engage the audience in a private dialogue. Images are hard to be unseen. This year we have the privilege to bring you one of the most provocative photographers ever to exist: Diane Arbus. Her work was controversial, unsettling. Arbus herself once said that her pictures sought to capture “the space between who someone is and who they think they are,” and this is exactly what you’ll hopefully experience tonight. I had the luck to find someone who understood that definition of Arbus’s work to perfection. This very talented person, with such a deep sense for human nature, selected all these magnificent pieces and put them together following the emotions behind them, that true essence. I hope you’ll be moved and touched by these pieces as I was during this process. Thank you again and enjoy.”  
  
Therese was in shock after hearing Carol’s speech. She had said all these beautiful things about her in front of all these people. Even though she hadn’t said her name out loud, she felt like the most important person in the room. Knowing that she had moved Carol during their work together was more important than any other type of recognition. She let one happy tear fall down her cheek and quickly brushed it off. The crowd started to split, moving towards the walls that were displaying the photographs, each wall representing a different emotion. Therese stood there still, until the last group of people moved, revealing Carol standing in the front. She was wearing a gorgeous tight [Bordeaux dress](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/00/ae/e8/00aee8e6462838bb305415697490beec--bordeaux--cate-blanchett.jpg) that contrasted with her pale skin. She was wearing her hair up, revealing her delicate neck. She was distracted talking to what seemed to be authorities, one of them being Mr. Aird. It didn’t take long for her to notice Therese standing there in the middle of the room. She turned her head towards her, eyes locking. She tilted her head slightly and gave Therese a delicate smile but for Therese it was speaking louder than words. She felt love. Unmistakably love for Carol. Every cell in her body was screaming it. She wished she could run towards Carol and kiss her, but instead she nodded with her head before she made her way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear loves! I loved all the great response chaper 10 got, specially the ending. You've been so patient and supporting all this time, walking with me through these 10. I hope you'll enjoy this one. I struggled with it since it's time for the characters and the story to get more serious. Once again, I hope it won't let you down.


	12. Fire and Ice - part 1

Time sure flies when you’re in love. It’s just one week before Christmas break. Carol and Therese spent the previous weeks having sporadic lunch breaks together in Carol’s office, but not too often to avoid any suspicions. They also spent time at each other’s apartments. Last week Mr. Aird had to travel for business so Carol could have Rindy all to herself for an entire week. Therese knew how rare this was so she gave Carol alone time with her daughter. Since they weren’t really a couple, she didn’t expect to meet Rindy. The idea actually made her feel nervous. What if the little girl didn’t like Therese back? She knew Rindy would always be Carol’s priority and she would never get in the way between them. She knew very well what it’s like to grow up without a mother. She would never do that to Rindy.

During this time, Therese also tried to hang out with Richard and Genevieve more. They were actually very fun. She couldn’t help feeling a little uneasy around Genevieve. She seemed too interested in Therese. She was always too close to her, and always had this intense look on her face, like trying to read Therese, discover her secrets. Therese, on the other hand, couldn’t be less interested in her. Her heart already belonged to someone else, but she couldn’t confess it. She thought that if the time came, she would kindly tell Genevieve that she’s not interested, no further details. Therese hated to lie, but telling the truth was simply too dangerous. Richard seemed to have found a special one. Therese was too shy to ask, but she had noticed he didn’t hang out with her as much as he used to, and she had seen him a couple of times hanging with a blonde. She was happy for him; he deserved to have someone who liked him back. Therese also felt a bit of jealousy because she couldn’t go out with Carol as a couple and be free to express their love. She wished it could be as simple as for everybody else.

Classes were going well. She already had a bunch of pictures for her personal portfolio. She could already see the evolution in her pictures. She now dared to take more photographs of people instead of nature. She wanted to tell their story, as Diane Arbus did. Carol had told her how proud she was of these new shots and how she had an eye for capturing emotions. Therese couldn’t have a better reason to keep working at it. Now with Christmas break coming and with the city full of festive lights and ornaments, Therese felt more inspired to take pictures.

Therese was about to head to the cafeteria when she got a text from Carol asking her to come to her office. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much she had missed being around Carol, even though it had been just a week. She was so excited she almost ran desperately towards her office. Therese had barely made it past the door when she was pushed against it, the door closing behind her with a bang. At the same time, she felt Carol’s lips crash onto hers. The kiss was rushed, but passionate.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” breathed Carol in Therese’s mouth, still on top of Therese.

“I’ve missed you, too. So much.” Therese ran her hand around Carol’s face to push some loose hairs back, the other hand still around her lower back. She wanted to stare at those beautiful blue eyes she had missed terribly.

“Did something happen?” asked Therese.

“Nothing darling, I just needed to see you, and kiss you. And also tell you that Abby has invited us to spend Christmas at her place. She has a beautiful house near the beach and if we’re lucky it might even snow. Wouldn’t it be wonderful?” Carol smiled.

“Yes, I’d love to … but I thought you were going to spend it with Rindy?” asked Therese cautiously since she knew it was a delicate subject.

“Harge is taking her to spend Christmas with his parents in Florida. I don’t have much of a choice. I was already lucky enough to spend a whole week with her. Abby knew I’d be miserable to she invited me, us, to spend Christmas with her.” Carol tried to force a smile, but she was clearly affected by Rindy’s situation.

“That sounds lovely, Carol! But wouldn’t it be weird if I came? I don’t know her that well, plus she’s my teacher.”

“She knows about us, and how happy you make me. She already likes you a lot. You’re her favorite student! At least you’re the only one who reads her book recommendations.” They both laughed.

“OK, yes I want to come,” cried Therese with excitement.

“Perfect! Pack a bag for a few days, then. I’ll pick you up on the 24 th around noon. Can’t wait,” said Carol before placing one last kiss on Therese’s lips.

“Me neither.”

“Now go, before somebody comes! And take this in case someone asks,” added Carol, handing Therese a booklet.

“Carol, this is a booklet on interior design …” objected Therese with a confused look.

“Ssshhh! Tell them you’re into furniture now. Go!”

* * *

 

Therese decided to go Christmas shopping the day before Carol picked her up. She wanted to get some new clothes, pajamas, and pick up Carol’s present she had ordered. Dannie had told her to get fancy things since they were probably going to a fancy place in The Hamptons. He tried to explain his excitement at this, telling her that’s where the rich and famous had their holiday homes. He made her promise to take pictures of the houses or any celebrity. Therese couldn’t care less, for she didn’t know that many. When she got home, she quickly finished packing her bags. She also packed both her cameras since she knew there would be plenty of opportunity to photograph Carol. She went to bed early, exhausted from all the last minute shopping craziness. 

Therese woke up early the next morning. She wanted to cook something to bring to the Christmas Eve dinner. She wanted to cook something special, something from her childhood. She loved [“Buchteln”](https://www.196flavors.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/buchty-1.jpg), sweet rolls made of yeast dough, filled with jam that her mother used to bake her. The recipe wasn’t that hard to follow. For the first time she managed to cook something without ruining it. She was proud of herself. She put them in a large pan and covered them with a dishcloth.

Carol arrived closer to 1:00. Punctuality wasn’t her strong point. She came up to her apartment to help her carry the bags. She was surprised when Therese came out of her room with a giant wrapped present.

“What’s that?” asked Carol with a devious look.

“Nothing! You’ll have to wait until Christmas.”

“You’re the worst!”

“And you’re too impatient. Now let’s go.”

They spent the 2-hour car trip talking and listening to music. Carol loved jazz music. It was sexy, just like her. Therese took pictures with her digital camera since it allowed her to take shots while in movement. The landscape was beautiful, so different from the city. It reminded her of her town growing up. They finally arrived at Abby’s place. It was a beautiful [two-story house](https://www.familyvacationcritic.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2015/12/67338fcfdf5fbe1f5492979b9e74fea0.jpg), built right in [front of the ocean](http://pics4.city-data.com/cpicc/cfiles58893.jpg). Some snow was already covering the sand, which made it look so dreamy: summer covered by ice. They parked in the wide front space. Carol honked. Abby came seconds later to greet them.

“There you are! I’m so glad to see you, Therese. Let me help you with that,” she said as she grabbed the pan.

“What is this? It smells delicious!” asked Abby.

“Oh, it’s a dish from my country. They are sweet rolls. I thought we could have them tonight.”

“Well, I can’t wait to try these.” Abbey smiled.

“Me neither,” added Carol.

Once all the bags were brought in from the car, Abby took them upstairs to show them their rooms. The house was very big. It had four bedrooms with joint bathrooms in two of them. These rooms were the ones Carol and Therese were going to take.

“Here you are, ladies. Carol, this is yours as always. And Therese, this is your room. Both rooms are connected by the bathroom. I’ll let you get some rest before dinner. Crystal is going to arrive at 7:00.” And with that, Abby disappeared downstairs.

“Who’s Crystal?” asked Therese.

“That’s Abby’s latest girlfriend. She loves women, all right. Let’s see how long this one lasts,” whispered Carol before she turned around and headed to her room.

Therese went inside [hers](http://www.calgaryherald.com/homes/cms/binary/10115212.jpg?size=640x420). It was like taken from a magazine. The walls were painted in a light lavender green with white ceiling. The bed covers matched the walls. The windows were tall and had an ocean view. It was so relaxing. Therese started to unpack her bags. After she finished she felt tired, so she decided to rest a little. She set an alarm because she knew she would fall asleep. An hour later she woke up a little confused. It took her a second to remember where she was. She quickly grabbed a towel and headed to the closed bathroom door. She was still sleepy from the nap that she froze when she saw Carol standing there with her naked back towards her. Her back was so pale it had a brightness of its own, water drops shining like the stars on the Milky Way. It was wide, muscular, and strong. Her eyes traveled down her back until she reached her butt cheeks. They were like heavenly pearls hanging above the most gorgeous pair of long legs she had ever seen. Carol looked just like the sculpture of a Greek Goddess. Carol was the first to react. She turned her torso towards Therese, covering the front of her body with a towel. Therese snapped out of her daydream.

“I’m so sorry, Carol!” Therese covered her eyes with both her hands. “I forgot … this was shared.” She could barely form a sentence.

“It’s fine, darling. Don’t be so mortified. Unless you didn’t like what you saw,” said Carol in a seductive tone. Therese covered her eyes even harder.

“Of course not!” she almost yelled. She had lost reference of where Carol was standing. “Far from that,” she murmured. She could feel her cheeks con fire. She felt Carol’s hands around her wrists as she gently uncovered Therese’s eyes. It took her a few seconds to focus again since she had pressed her eyes hard. Carol had wrapped herself in the towel now. She was giving her the cheekiest smile.

“The bathroom is all yours, darling.” She turned around and left the room, closing the door on her side.

Therese was unable to move. The image of Carol’s naked marble back was still fresh in her head. Once she recovered, she took a cold shower. She didn’t realize until then that she hadn’t asked what the dress code was. She thought that since it was Abby’s home it would be relaxed. She put on some black pants and a [white sweatshirt](https://lp2.hm.com/hmgoepprod?set=source%5B/af/a4/afa4634f0d4a1d44143135f20e1ca135f2a43ecb.jpg%5D,origin%5Bdam%5D,category%5B%5D,type%5BDESCRIPTIVESTILLLIFE%5D,res%5Bs%5D,hmver%5B1%5D&call=url%5Bfile:/product/main%5D) with beads and rhinestones in it. She put her hair in a low bun and added some makeup. She wanted to apologize to Carol again. She went to the bathroom and knocked on Carol’s door. No response. She called her aloud. Nothing. She opened the door that revealed a slightly [bigger bedroom](http://theangmeringonseabeachhouses.com/images/properties/Hamptons_Beach_House/gallery/hamptons-beach-house-bed.jpg). The colors were more on the grey side, making it more sophisticated. No wonder it was Carol’s favorite room.

She headed downstairs. She heard voices coming from the kitchen. When she approached, she saw Carol, Abby and an unknown woman standing around the kitchen drinking wine while Abby was at the stove. They stopped talking when they saw Therese. She felt at ease when she noticed that everybody was also wearing casual clothes. She wouldn’t have wanted to overdress. Carol was exquisite as always, wearing a [black turtleneck sweatshirt and a plaid skirt](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DorWDU5W0AAIVrS.jpg).

“Hey Therese, please join us,” gestured Abby. “This is Crystal, my girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, Therese. We were just talking about you,” said Crystal with a warm smile. Therese stood shyly next to Carol.

“Oh really?” Therese’s cheeks went pink.

“They were telling me how you saved the exhibition at the last minute. I saw it last weekend and it’s amazing. You did an excellent job with those pieces.”

“Thank you. It was really a pleasure. I learned a lot from it,” beamed Therese while giving Carol a side smile.

They sat at the table, Carol and Therese sitting next to each other; Abby and Crystal in front of them. They had a delicious Italian chicken pasta with more red wine. Therese tried to engage in the conversation but the feeling of Carol’s body next to her and the wine made it hard to concentrate. At one point, Carol rubbed her leg against hers and Therese almost spilled her glass of wine. Therese was sure she had made it on purpose. Carol was trying to catch her attention, no matter how hard she tried to be part of the conversation. She told them about her country and her culture since they had never been there. As she was talking, it felt like she was talking about somebody else’s past. So much had changed. She scarcely recognized the girl she once was.

Therese felt so good in their company. She wondered if it would ever be like that with Carol: cooking dinner and drinking wine, inviting friends over. Calling her girlfriend in front of everybody. She knew she wanted that, but she wasn’t sure if Carol would. She had a daughter and a career. Did Therese fit in all that? Was she part of her future?

For dessert, they had ice cream with the sweet rolls Therese had made. They praised them. They were delicious. Abby and Carol excused themselves to go outside and smoke. Therese stayed with Crystal inside. She was a bit younger than Abby. She had beautiful red hair and green eyes. She was friendly and funny. Therese liked her.

“So you and Carol …”

“What?” exclaimed Therese in shock. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s fine. It’s just that it’s obvious that there’s something between you two.”

“It is? I’m not sure what it is. I just feel drawn to her. I can’t explain it.”

“I know what you mean. I felt the same way for Abby. It just happens. Your heart starts beating faster whenever you’re near them. You can’t think clearly.”

“Exactly. That’s how it’s like around Carol. It’s like my body becomes alive when I’m next to her.”

“That’s beautiful. I know that things are not easy for you two but you shouldn’t let this keep you from each other. From what Abby has told me she hasn’t seen Carol this happy in a long time. Both of you deserve to be happy.” Crystal leaned over and gave Therese’s hand an assuring squeeze.

Shortly after, they all went upstairs to bed. She said goodnight to everybody before entering her room. She changed into her new pajamas and slipped inside the bed. She couldn’t find sleep. She kept rolling on her bed. She was also cold. The proximity to the ocean seemed to make the air more chilly. Therese got up and went to the closet to see if she could find an extra blanket. She was too short to reach the top shelf so she stepped on one of the lower ones and climbed. It was still hard to reach so she stretched herself more but by doing so she lost balance and fell hard on the floor, hitting her right side. She cursed to herself. Carol entered her room in a rush.

“Oh God Therese, are you OK? What happened?” she said as she reached Therese and helped her get up and sit on the bed.

“I was looking for an extra blanket and I couldn’t reach the top shelf so I climbed, but I slipped and fell.”

“Are you hurt?” asked Carol with a worried face, touching Therese on her right side to see if she showed any sign of pain. The truth is that Therese was feeling anything but pain.

“I’m OK. I don’t think I broke anything but … could you sleep with me just in case?” Therese gave her the sweetest puppy eyes she could pull.

“You know you didn’t have to throw yourself to the floor to ask me that,” joked Carol.

They got under the sheets. Carol hugged Therese from behind, spooning her. Therese had never been in bed with another person. It felt strange but wonderful at the same time because it was Carol. She started to feel her warmth covering her whole body. They laid there in the darkness for a while, just hearing each other’s breathing.

“Carol … have you slept with a woman before?” asked Therese unexpectedly. She was scared Carol might find the question too out of place. She wanted to take it back but before she could Carol interrupted her.

“Yes. It was a long time ago. Before I married Harge. It was with Abby.” Therese stopped breathing at the answer. She wasn’t expecting that revelation. It felt odd to be in Abby’s home, in bed with Carol. She couldn’t process it. Carol sensed her shift.

“It just happened one day. We weren’t planning on it. We were young and we wanted to explore I guess. But she’s my best friend and I knew it wouldn’t work. I couldn’t lose her as a friend. And so it changed. Then I married Harge. I had Rindy…”

Therese remained in silence. All this was still new to her. She wanted to know everything about Carol but she was afraid she might be not ready for everything it entitled. Carol had lived so much, had had so many experiences. Therese felt she didn’t have anything to offer in return. She tried to push away those thoughts and let herself enjoy the moment. She turned herself around to face Carol who had a sad expression on her face. Therese grabbed her face with one hand and kissed her softly. She moved herself lower in order to rest her head on Carol’s chest. Carol held her closer to her until they both fell asleep.

 

They woke up on Christmas morning to the sound of Christmas music coming from downstairs. When they both reached the kitchen, they were greeted by Abby and Crystal making breakfast. They were making scrambled eggs with bacon and French toast.

“Good morning, sleepyheads. Looks like you had a nice rest,” said Abby with a smirk. “Grab a cup of coffee and head to the living room. We’re going to open the presents.”

Therese darted upstairs to her room and grabbed her analog camera. Once everything was ready, they carried the plates to the living room. It had a nice big L shaped couch. Therese preferred to sit on the floor, resting her back next to Carol’s legs. The Christmas tree was big and it was beautifully decorated. Crystal and Abby went first with the opening. Then it was Carol’s turn. She gave Abby an expensive looking [scarf](https://media.gucci.com/style/DarkGray_Center_0_0_800x800/1546858803/565245_3G001_9274_001_090_0000_Light-Scarf-with-Interlocking-G-stirrups-print.jpg) which Abby loved. Carol picked her present for Therese and placed it in front of her.

“Merry Christmas, Therese,” said Carol with the warmest smile. Therese left her plate on the table and proceeded to open it.

“OH my… Carol, this is beautiful!” She was looking at a [professional camera bag](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1426/1354/products/deetrade-camera-bag-leather-vintage-camera-deluxe-bag-594914410526_800x.jpg?v=1530700297) made in leather with a vintage style. “Thank you so much, Carol.”

“Now you can carry both of your cameras and look professional and cute in the process.” Carol winked at her before sitting back.

It was Therese’s turn now. She wasn’t sure what to get Abby since she didn’t know her that well, so she went with a nice golden pen. She felt bad for not having anything for Crystal, but how could she have known. She picked the last present which was a lot bigger than all the rest. Therese could see Carol’s excitement on her face – she looked like a little girl and her heart melted. She rested one of the ends on the floor in front of Carol.

“This is for you. Hope you’ll like it. Merry Christmas, Carol.”

Carol started to rip the wrapping paper that revealed a framed poster. She looked surprised.

“Is this a Mucha? [The Seasons](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/49/d4/94/49d494a1617a48c0ff9a93b80cf3297f.jpg), right?” asked Carol with excitement. Therese’s jaw dropped since she wasn’t expecting Carol to recognize the art.

“Yes, it is! He’s Czech like me. My father had this same poster in his office and I remembered looking at it. It was my favorite.” Therese tried hard to hold back her tears. Carol got up and gave Therese a warm hug.

“Thank you Therese,” Carol whispered as she tightened the embrace.

“As much as we love seeing your cute displays of affection, I have to tell you something,” interrupted Abby.

Carol and Therese took a seat next to each other holding hands. They waited expectantly for Abby to continue.

“Well … I proposed to this one here yesterday.” Abby was interrupted with congratulations from both Carol and Therese. They hadn’t noticed the ring on Crystal’s finger that morning.

“So I wanted to let you know that we’re both going to Crystal’s hometown tomorrow to spend the rest of the holidays. But you both are more than welcome to stay longer. I know you’ll be responsible, Therese.” They all laughed.

Therese did it out of nervousness. The idea of spending the rest of the week with Carol alone was like a dream. Her hands started to sweat so she removed them from Carol’s hold. She looked at her.

“We don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. We can go back tomorrow.” There was disappointment in Carol’s tone.

“No, I want to stay. There’s no place I’d rather be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear loves! I can't describe the joy I got from reading all your reactions on chapter 11! It was time to get serious with these two! You deserve some loooove. 
> 
> Big thanks to my loyal partner in crime Beate! And to my love, for all the inspiration. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, I love reading your comments!


	13. Fire and Ice - part 2

They were all still hanging in the living room, chatting about the proposal and wedding plans. Abby and Crystal were sitting close together, holding hands, looking very much in love. Therese was sitting with her back to the couch and her legs crossed in front of her. Carol had her body facing Therese with one leg crossed underneath her, her head resting on her right hand, which rested on the border of the couch. At one point, during Abby’s story on how she and Crystal had met, Carol started playing with Therese’s hair, making it hard for Therese to follow. Carol brushed her left fingers along Therese’s neck, sending goosebumps all over her body. Carol noticed a birthmark that Therese had there, which was shaped like a heart. Carol touched it, adding extra pressure with her thumb, her long nail tickling Therese. Right in that moment, Carol’s phone started to ring. She stretched herself to grab it from the table. It was Rindy.  
  
“Hello, my sunshine! Merry Christmas to you, too.” Carol was beaming as she started to talk to her daughter on the phone. Therese couldn’t stop looking at her with a smile.  
  
“Yes, I’m with Aunty Abby, Crystal and a special friend …” She smiled back at Therese.  
  
Therese felt a pain in her stomach. The fact that Carol had just referred to her as a “special friend” hurt Therese deep down but she couldn’t understand why. She wasn’t sure what she and Carol exactly were. They weren’t a couple for sure, but were they more than just friends? She also couldn’t explain or label the feeling she had for her. Was it just physical attraction or more? She had never experienced these feelings before. She didn’t know what to name them. Deep inside her she knew she wanted more; with Carol it was always more. That’s why the thought of being just a friend to Carol made her feel sad, angry. She couldn’t hide her disappointment so she got up and took her phone. Carol tried to stop her but Therese gave her a fake smile and whispered It’s fine before she walked away from her. She picked up her coat from the coat hanger by the door and headed outside. She followed the path that led to the beach. There were still patches of sand uncovered by the snow. The chilly breeze from the ocean was cutting Therese’s face; still she kept walking away from the house. The sound of the waves and the smell of salt in the air slowly started to relax her. She took a deep breath and called Dannie.   
  
“Merry Christmas, Terry! How are things going in that winter wonderland?” cheered Dannie.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Dannie. Things are OK…” answered Therese in a detached tone.  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Therese, I know you. What did she say?” Dannie’s voice was firm.  
  
“Her daughter called and she told her that I was her _special friend_. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, but it hurt. I don’t want to be a friend, I want more than that,” admitted Therese.  
  
“I’m sure you do, but have you talked to her about your feelings?”  
  
“No, of course not! I don’t know if she would want that.”  
  
“You will never know unless you do so. Ask her how she feels about you. If there’s something more. Find the right time.”  
  
“Well … about that,” Therese hesitated.  
  
“What else happened?”  
  
“Abby and her girlfriend are leaving tomorrow and she told us that we could stay longer at the house.”  
  
“Okay … are you staying?!” exclaimed Dannie.  
  
“Yes we are! But I’m so nervous, Dannie. What if we …”  
  
“What if you sleep together? Do you want it to happen, Terry?”  
  
“Yes. I don’t know. I’m scared. What if she doesn’t like me … like that? What if I don’t do it right?” Therese couldn’t tell if she was shaking from the cold wind or her nerves.  
  
“Therese, you are beautiful. There’s nothing to worry about. She will like you because it’s YOU. And believe me, she’s nervous too. Each time with a person feels like a first time. You’ll learn how to get there together. Whatever happens, enjoy the moment, OK?”  
  
“OK. Thank you. I will try. Wish Tom a Merry Christmas from me. I love you.”  
  
“Love you too, Terry!”  
  
Therese stayed there enjoying the view. She got so lost in the sound of the waves that she didn’t hear Carol calling her from afar. Therese gave a start when she felt Carol behind her, holding her around her waist in a tight embrace. Therese kept her eyes focused on the waves.  
  
“Hey. I’m sorry about what I …”   
  
“It’s fine, Carol. You don’t have to apologize. I understand,” Therese interrupted her.  
  
“I know you do but still I feel like I hurt you and it wasn’t my intention at all. I want to explain. Rindy knows about Crystal because Abby took her to her last birthday party. She understands that they love each other like Mommy and Daddy used to do. The reason I haven’t told her about you yet is because, well, you can’t trust a 5 year old with a secret, can you?” Carol tried to lighten the mood a little bit. Therese gave her a side smile.  
  
“No, I guess you can’t.”  
  
“I was trying to protect you and by doing so I hurt you. Please forgive me, Therese.” Carol’s voice broke at the end of the sentence. Therese, shocked, turned around to see a tear falling from Carol’s eye. She wiped it with one cold finger. She wasn’t going to deny that she wasn’t hurt. Carol could read her like a book. Instead of answering, she buried her head in Carol’s chest.  
  
“Darling, I’m not trying to hide you. I’m not ashamed of this. I just need time; we need time. I’m not even sure if you want to be part of all this, a daughter, an ex-husband?  
  
Therese straighten up to look Carol in the eye.  
  
“Yes Carol, I want to. I want to know everything about you and I want to share everything with you,” Therese answered with a smile.  
  
“Please, share everything. There’s so much I want to show you. We don’t have to rush it. Let’s enjoy each moment at a time, all right?”  
  
“Yes,” answered Therese and they kissed.  
  
  
  
Later that night they had their last dinner with Abby and Crystal. They left early the following morning. Therese woke up late in Carol’s bed. It seemed impossible now to sleep without her body next to hers but to Therese’s disappointment, Carol wasn’t in bed with her. She got up and looked outside the window: it was a beautiful snowy day. She put on her robe and went downstairs. The house was extremely quiet now that it was just the two of them. Therese found Carol in the kitchen, by the stove. She was frying some bacon.  
  
“Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well?” she asked without turning to look at her. Therese took the chance to get closer to Carol and hug her from behind.  
  
“Yes. I never slept better,” she said with a big smile.  
  
Carol turned around and gave Therese a lingering kiss on the cheek.  
  
“Go sit, darling. I’ll bring the plates to the table.” Soon after Carol joined Therese.  
  
“I was thinking… how do you feel about going ice skating today?” proposed Carol as she took a bit from her toast.  
  
“Hhhmm, I’ve never ice skated before. I’m not sure,” Therese hesitantly said while sipping her coffee.  
  
“You haven’t? Well, we have to do something about it then. I did pretty well at teaching Rindy. Will you let me teach you, Therese?” asked Carol in a deep sexy voice. Therese gulped the hot coffee she was drinking. She felt it burning all the way down her throat. Her cheeks went red.  
  
  
  
Carol drove them to the Southampton Ice Rink. It was full of people from all ages. Therese already began to feel nervous. Everybody was so good at skating, even small kids. Carol went ahead to get them ice skates. Therese stood by the rink observing how happy everyone looked and for the first time, she could mirror that same feeling. She was truly happy. Once changed into their skates, Carol took Therese by the shoulder until they reached the ice rink. Therese almost fell right away the second she touched the ice but Carol held her in place.  
  
“Oh Carol, I don’t know if this is a good idea. I’m terrible.”  
  
“You’re not! Don’t give up before trying. Here, take my hand,” said Carol as she removed her glove to get a better hold of Therese’s hand.  
  
Therese felt a warmth in her heart when she looked at them. They were the same pair that she had found that night on the bus and which had brought her all the way to that very moment with Carol. Therese grabbed Carol’s hand so strong she was scared she was going to break it. Slowly but surely she started to gain more balance with each step she took. Carol stood right next to her.  
  
“You’re doing amazing, darling. Now try to slide one of your legs, like this.” Carol showed her. She was now standing in front of her, their hands still joined.  
  
With a scared look on her face, Therese tried to do the same as Carol did but she didn’t calculate the pressure and her body went forward. Carol caught her with her body, sliding her free arm under Therese’s arm and holding her tight.  
  
“I’ve got you,” said Carol, staring right into Therese’s eyes. Their noses were almost touching, their condensed breaths becoming one. The moment was so intense that Therese’s legs failed to sustain her and she fell to the ice.  
  
“Therese!” exclaimed Carol. Therese was rubbing her right ankle.  
  
“I think I twisted it. It seems I’m always falling hard when I’m around you,” Therese tried to joke but her pain was visible in her face.  
  
“As cute as that sounds, we’ve got to get you up and go home.” Carol asked a man skating near by to help her with Therese. They took her to the rink’s entrance, which wasn’t very far away. When Carol removed Therese’s skate, she noticed that her ankle was starting to swell. She pressed it with her fingers to check if there were any dislocated bones. Fortunately, there were none.  
  
When they got back to the house, Carol took Therese to her bed. She put Therese’s leg up with the help of some pillows. She applied an ice bag to it and gave Therese some pills for the pain. Despite the discomfort, Therese felt happy to have Carol taking care of her. They stayed in bed watching movies and talking about life. Carol cooked her the most delicious food she had ever had. It took two days for Therese’s ankle to feel better and for her to be able to walk again. On the third day, Therese insisted on going to the [Montauk Lighthouse](https://montauklighthouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/InteriorPictures_23_Overview.jpg), which is among the oldest active lighthouses in the US. She packed her cameras in her bright new bag Carol had given her. They also packed some hot coffee and bagels to take along with them. Once they arrived at the lighthouse, Carol got them tickets to go all the way to the top. The view was breathtaking there, and it was more so to have Carol by her side. Therese could see the ocean waves crashing in her eyes. She took some shots with both of her cameras. She took one of Carol with her analog one.  
  
After that, they visited the historic East Hampton old town and Sag Harbor. The village was like frozen in time. There weren’t malls or fast food chains or bright neon lights around. There were [windmills ](https://media2.trover.com/T/5a57dcceced1894569007bd7/fixedw_large_4x.jpg)almost everywhere. Therese was fascinated looking at one which was particularly tall.  
  
“Isn’t it majestic? Almost like giants, don’t you think?” asked Carol.  
  
“Yes … it is.”  
  
“… [that thou art not used to this business of adventures; those are giants…](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41JKGW9P6AL._SX372_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)” recited Carol.  


* * *

  
  
Days flew by for both of them. It was New Year’s Eve. Therese was helping Carol with dinner. She was cooking red meat with baked vegetables with a dressing. Therese helped chop the vegetables and set the table while Carol did the rest. They were relaxing in their pajamas and listening to jazz music, Carol’s favorite. They ate mostly in silence, just staring at each other, having an unspoken conversation. When it got closer to 12, Carol asked Therese to grab a blanket from upstairs. Carol filled two champagne glasses and waited for Therese by the door that led to the back porch. They went outside. Carol wrapped themselves in the blanket, holding Therese by the waist with her free hand. As they watched the fireworks over Hampton Beach, they toasted and drank the champagne.  
  
“Happy New Year, Therese.”  
  
“Happy New Year, Carol.”  
  
“Harge and I never spend New Year’s Eve together. There’s always a business function, always clients to entertain.”  
  
“I’ve always spent it alone. In the orphanage. I’m not alone this year.”  
  
Therese turned around letting the blanket and the glass fall. She grabbed Carol’s face with both hands. Carol’s eyes were so dark she could see the fireworks reflected in them. She closed the distance and crushed her lips with Carol’s. For the first time she slid out her tongue, cautiously asking for permission which was quickly granted. Therese felt their tongues touching, sending shivers down her whole body. As she continued to deepen the kiss, she felt a part of her heart going with it. She was giving herself completely to Carol. [_With a kiss I'd pass the key. And feel your tongue. Teasing and receiving._](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gYvPYZZL8I)  
  
“Take me to bed,” she whispered as she broke the kiss, gasping for air.  
  
No more words were needed. Everything had been said in that kiss. Carol took her by the hand and they went upstairs. Once in Carol’s room, she started to undress Therese gently while giving her kisses on her exposed shoulders. Therese felt cold and warm at the same time. She removed Carol’s robe which fell to the ground, joining Therese’s clothes. Next she grabbed Carol’s nightgown and slowly pulled it all the way up until it was no longer in the way. Therese stood there, admiring Carol’s perfect pale skin, which was glowing. Therese slid her fingers across her collarbone, feeling every inch of her. She approached and started kissing her neck all the way up to her ear.  
  
“Lay down for me,” whispered Carol into hers.  
  
Therese did as she was told. Carol sat next to her with her torso towards her. She moved a hand across Therese’s chest bare before her. Therese shivered in response. Carol lent over and kissed her lightly.  
  
“You’re trembling,” she said as she run her nails down Therese’s arm. “Can I taste you, Therese?”  
  
“Y-…yes,” breathed Therese.  
  
Carol started kissing her neck, all the way down to her chest. She took one nipple in her mouth while she gently took the other between her fingers. Therese felt a heat consuming her whole body. The feeling of Carol’s tongue on one of her most sensitive parts was sending her into overdrive. She wanted to keep her eyes open but the sensation was too strong. Carol switched and started to do the same to her other breast. Therese began to gasp for air. Carol continued her way down, leaving wet kisses down her stomach. She switched positions in order to face Therese with her body. She lightly started to push Therese’s legs open, finally revealing her glistening folds. Carol’s eyes went wide. She watched without saying a word. Therese covered her face. _Oh no she doesn’t like me. She’s going to say something_...  
  
“Therese, look at me,” Carol ordered. Therese removed her arm.  
  
“You’re perfect. You look absolutely beautiful, and the fact that this is all for me,” she said as she slid two fingers through Therese’s wetness. Therese left out a moan. Carol’s touch was like a blaze. She watched as Carol started to approach her pussy with her mouth. She took her tongue out and started to lick through her folds, all the way up and down. Then she concentrated on her clit. Therese’s back arched at the feeling of her tongue sucking and swirling at her sensitive bundle of nerves. Her moans started to become louder and short in between. Carol slowed her sucking motions and released her clit with a popping sound. She made her way up to Therese’s lips, kissing her deep. Therese tasted herself for the first time in Carol’s mouth. With Carol still hovering over her, she slid one finger inside Therese’s entrance. Carol stared at her, mindful of any sign of discomfort. Therese gasped but she quickly nodded with her head to let Carol continue. She pushed her finger deeper into her then pulled it out and in again. Carol’s palm touched her clit with every movement, giving Therese extra friction. Therese’s orgasm started to build quickly. She held tight to Carol with one hand clinging to her back, the other holding her face. She gave her open mouthed kisses as she reached her climax. She cut the kiss to let her final moan escape her lips.

“Carol,” Therese whispered, and this time she got the most beautiful answer.

“Yes, my angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The moment you had all been waiting for. I was so nervous to write this one. I love Waterloo so much. I hope The Hamptons comes close to it. 
> 
> This is my gift to you. I want to thank every and each of you for your lovely comments and support. I couldn't have done it without you. 
> 
> To those special people who have helped me along the way and have given me extra love: Beate, Abbey, Marie Lina, Louise, Ansi... I love you.


	14. Close to my Heart

Therese curled on her side and closed her eyes. The intensity of the moment lived moments before consumed the last of her energy. Carol covered her with the duvet and curled next to Therese with one arm around her waist.

 

The next morning, Therese woke up before Carol which was a rarity. There was a dim ray of light coming from the gap between the curtains. It was enough to light the room. Carol was sleeping on her stomach, her face towards Therese. She had some curls covering her face, her right hand resting near her face. Therese stayed there staring at her. She traced with her eyes every line around her eyes, every spot, and each curve of her face. She wanted to touch her so badly but she was afraid Carol would wake up. She wanted to indulge herself with the beauty that was Carol sleeping next to her. They were driving back to reality that afternoon so she wanted to enjoy that moment as long as she could. How can she look this breathtaking in the morning, while sleeping? Therese wondered. Therese got out of bed as quietly as possible. She didn’t care to put something on. Now that Carol had made love to her body as she had done the previous night, she felt more proud of her body. She went to her room through the bathroom that connected the two. She picked her analog camera from its bag and prepared it. She headed back to Carol’s bed. She lightly sat on the edge, contorting her body to get the perfect shot of Carol. The pale of her skin and the white of the covers, together with the light coming from the window, made it look as she was glowing. After taking the shot, she put the camera on the nightstand carefully and slid back in next to Carol. Therese gently removed the hair strands covering Carol’s face caressing her. Therese leaned closer and started to place kisses all over her face including her lips. Carol rolled to the side until she was laying on her back.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” she said as she opened her eyes and looked at Therese who was resting on an elbow looking at her.

“Good morning, Ca...”

She didn’t finish the sentence since her lips were back on Carol’s mouth. She aligned her body on top of Carol’s which surprised on her. She started kissing her lower lip and shortly after, she was sliding her tongue over it, desperately wanting to join Carol’s tongue. Given that Therese was on top, she was the one in control of the kiss. She went deeper, savoring every inch of Carol’s sweet mouth. Once she ran out of air, she raised her head a bit to look at Carol. Her eyes were of a darker shade of blue and Therese knew what that meant. She continued to kiss her jawline, then down her neck until she reached her collarbone. She stayed longer there, sucking the hollow skin then running her tongue along her prominent bones. She could hear the change in Carol’s breathing. Therese slid down Carol’s body taking the covers with her to reveal a feast. She took her time now to observe every bump, every curve on Carol’s body. Her breasts were bigger and fuller than Therese’s. She had never seen anything more beautiful. As she got closer to them she noticed a few stretch marks around them. She ran her fingers over them, memorizing them with her touch. She looked at Carol right in the eye as she started to circle her tongue around her hardened nipple. Carol gasped and let out a moan. The feeling of Carol’s nipple against her tongue sent a discharge down her legs. She continued her tongue action on the other nipple. Carol closed her eyes and threw her head back. God, she’s so sexy, Therese thought to herself. Once she was finished, she went up to claim Carol’s mouth again.

“Teach me, Carol,” she breathed into her mouth. Carol shivered and nodded her head in response.

Therese went all the way to her lower stomach, leaving a trail of kisses behind. She stopped at the light pink line that crossed it just below her bellybutton. She placed more kisses on the scar. She positioned herself one last time to get closer to Carol’s pussy. She noticed it had fewer hairs than hers. She took a moment to smell her. She smelled almost as sweet as her perfume.

“You smell delicious, Carol.”

“Oh baby please, I need your tongue,” implored Carol.

Therese slid her fingers through Carol’s wet folds, wanting to feel every inch of her before going in with her tongue. She took one coated finger inside her mouth.

“Carol,” she moaned, her taste exploding in her mouth. She wiped it clean.

She needed more. She went in with her tongue and cleaned her juices. Therese had never tasted anything more delicious. Next she began to lick Carol’s clit.

“Yes, baby, yes. Keep going,” said Carol in between moans.

Therese did as she was told. She added more pressure as she noticed the effect it had on Carol. Her breathing was becoming irregular.

“I need your fingers inside me, baby. Don’t stop what you’re doing.”

Therese took her index and middle finger and slowly pushed them inside Carol, covering them in her warmth. Her mouth was still attached to her clit.

“Bend them towards you as you go in a…” Carol let out a whine as Therese immediately followed her order. She thrusted in and out.

It didn’t take long before Carol’s body started to convulse.

“Baby, I’m going to come soon … aaaahhhhhh,” cried Carol as she reached her climax.

Therese felt a wetness gushing around her fingers. She looked at Carol who was panting with one arm across her face. Therese removed her fingers and cleaned them again before making her way up. She removed Carol’s arm from her face. Carol grabbed Therese by the neck with her other hand and pushed her down for a passionate kiss.

“Darling, that was amazing. You were amazing,” said Carol with a smile on her face, rubbing the side of Therese’s face with her thumb.

“You really think so?” asked Therese with red cheeks.

“YES angel! I can barely move my body. You are a natural,” added Carol with a wink.

 

Once Carol recovered, they went downstairs to have breakfast. At the table, Carol was distracted checking her emails since school started the next day. She had been disconnected for most of the week. Therese started to feel a little sad since they would be heading back to the city in a few hours. These past days had really been a dream. All the time she spent with Carol alone without worrying about a thing was perfect. It was just Carol and Therese in their own little world. And after the intimacy they had shared, there was no going back. Therese wanted, needed to spend every minute next to Carol. There was still so much to learn about her. She knew there were things she kept to herself, especially when it came to Rindy and her ex-husband Harge. Therese hoped that after their night together, Carol would start to open up more. Therese knew she was young and without much life experience but she was more than ready to be there for Carol. She hoped she would see her as someone to trust in every aspect of her life.

After they finished eating, they cleaned their plates and mugs at the sink. Therese couldn’t help but dream of doing these house chores with Carol on a daily basis. Happiness really hid behind simple things. Once they were done, Carol took her hand and walked them to the living room. She sat on the couch, and Therese rested her head on Carol’s lap. They stayed silent for a while.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” asked Carol as she stroked her fingers through Therese’s hair.

“It’s just that I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here with you forever,” said Therese with a shy smile looking at Carol who smiled back at her.

“I don’t want to go back either, darling. This past week has been a dream.”

“It has been a dream for me too.” Therese took one of Carol’s hands in hers and held it to her chest. “I’ve never been this happy in all my life. You make me happy, Carol.”

“Oh darling, you have no idea how happy you make me.” She bent down to give Therese a kiss on her forehead. “Ever since you came into my life, my days have been happier. Just thinking about you brings me joy.”

They stayed in silence for another while, Carol still caressing her hair. Therese wanted to ask more about her but she felt hesitant to do so. Her body tensed.

“What else is troubling you? You can tell me, Therese.” Therese exhaled before she spoke.

“I want to ask you things. Personal things,” replied Therese without looking at Carol.

“You can ask me anything.” Carol grabbed her gently by the neck to make Therese look at her again.

“That scar you have on your belly … what happened?”

“Oh, that’s from when I had Rindy. She was so restless about coming out into the world that she stuck herself with the umbilical cord. The doctors had to open me to take her out. She’s still a restless girl ’till this day. She’s so smart and curious about everything. She loves stories. She has the biggest imagination.”

Therese loved how Carol’s face lit up every time she talked about Rindy. She could see how much she loved her and also how much she missed her. Carol treasured every moment she spent with her which wasn’t as much as she wanted.

“Can I ask you something personal, too?” asked Carol.

“Yes, of course.”

“Was it your first time last night?” Therese’s cheeks went bright red at the question.

“Y-yes,” she stuttered. She found it hard to keep her eyes on Carol. She closed them hard.

“Hey. Look at me,” Carol demanded. Therese did so. “There’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. I feel honored to be your first lover.” She bent down again but this time she kissed her on her lips. They kissed shortly but passionately.

“I’ve never seen another body, you know, like that. Yours is so beautiful. I love every inch of it,” said Therese.

“And I loved yours. You’re so fine. I never looked like that.”

“Really? Even if my …” Therese covered her face to hide her shyness.

“Your what? Speak.” She uncovered Therese’s face.

“My private parts …”

“It’s called a vagina, Therese. Say it,” Carol interrupted.

“Vagina,” Therese whispered. “It’s more hairy than yours.”

“Therese, it’s perfect. It’s your body and I like it as it is.”

“But …” interjected Therese.

“You don’t have to change a single thing for me. But if you want to do it, do it because you want to, not for me. OK?” Carol run a thumb against her red cheeks.

Therese smiled. She had never talked about her body and its changes with anybody else before. The orphanage had been very conservative about these topics. She’d had so many questions growing up, but the nuns only said that if she got her period every month that’s all she needed to know about being a woman. Until now, the relationship with her body had been exclusively functional but now because of Carol, she was discovering so much more to it. She knew pleasure now; and how her body responded to it. Her body wasn’t only hers now, it belonged to Carol too.

 

They went upstairs to pack her things and tidy up their rooms to not leave a mess behind. They prepared to sandwiches and coffee for the drive back. It was very cold outside and the roads were going to be packed with people returning to the city, the snow making it more difficult. They got in the car and they began their trip back. As they started to drive away from the coast, Therese felt that a part of her would always remain in that place, in that house. A tear fell from her eye but she quickly wiped it away. She didn’t want Carol to see her crying, but she noticed. She took Therese’s hand with her free one and squeezed it. They remained in silence for the rest of the trip, holding hands. When they entered the city, Therese felt a knot in her stomach. Reality was hitting her hard. She would be back to school, back to her routine. Yes, she would still see Carol but it wouldn’t be the same. Their love bubble had popped. By the time they arrived at Therese’s apartment, the sun was already setting. They kissed deeply. Neither of them wanted to let go.

Therese closed her apartment’s door and rested her head on it. She felt more alone than ever. She needed to be next to Carol so badly. Home didn’t feel the same without her in it. Therese unpacked the bags from the trip. She took her digital camera out of its bag, then connected it to her computer and downloaded the pictures she had taken. She started to go through them. She stared at the ones that had Carol in them, letting her mind take her back to each moment with her. She smiled, knowing that it had all been real. That night had been real. She wasn’t the same Therese from before that trip. Something inside of her had changed. Now that she was away from Carol, she could feel every part of her calling for her. She knew this had to be love. Before she went to bed, she texted Carol.

Therese: I miss you.

Carol: I miss you too, angel.

* * *

 

School started again on a Tuesday. She saw Richard sitting at his usual desk right next to hers. She was happy to see him again.

“Hey, Therese! How were your holidays?”

“They were very good. How about yours?”

“Nothing too exciting. Dinner with the family,” he replied, looking down. Therese sensed something was bothering him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Steph and I broke up. Wait, I don’t think I’ve told you about her in the first place.”

“No you didn’t but I saw you two hanging out together.” Therese felt bad for not having paid more attention to what was going on in Richard’s life. “I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out,” she added, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s fine. We were too different to begin with. But tell me about you. You look different. Is there a certain someone?” he asked with a playful tone. Therese’s eyes went wide open, cheeks slightly red.

“Me? Oh no, not at all!” She turned her face away. She was a terrible liar. She thanked the teacher for arriving right at that moment and giving her an excuse to escape the nerve wracking situation.

After class was finished, she fought the urge to go to Carol’s office to see her. Now that Richard had noticed there was something different about her, she didn’t want to give him a reason to go after her. She told him she had to run some errands before the next course. She went outside and headed to a photography shop a few blocks away. She wanted to develop the film she had taken on the trip. There were many pictures of Carol in them so she didn't want to reveal them at the school’s lab. She left the film at the shop which were going to be ready after school. She stopped at a food stand to grab something to eat and headed back to school. As she was heading to the stairs she saw Carol and Abby talking nearby. Her heart stopped beating for a second. She stood there just looking at her. Is it going to be like this every time? she asked herself. Carol had her back to Therese so she didn’t realize she was there until Abby waved at her. Carol turned around and their eyes met. Therese felt butterflies in her stomach. She wanted to run to her and kiss her. Telling her body to fight the magnetic attraction to Carol was like asking the sun not to rise every morning. Therese raised her hand and waved back at them with a smile. Then she ordered her legs to keep walking. They felt so heavy. She kept her eyes in front of her all the way up the first floor. She found it very hard to concentrate during her last course of the day. Carol was all she could think about.

After school, she headed back to the shop to pick up the developed pictures. She waited until she was back home to take a look at them. They were all stunning. The ones with Carol in them were breathtaking. Her favorite, without any doubt, was the one she had taken while Carol was sleeping. She looked like a Goddess. That picture was also a reminder of what had happened before and what happened next. A memory locked forever in her mind.

* * *

 

The following day she went to class as usual. She was surprised not to see Richard at his desk. She quickly texted him to ask if he was OK. She waited a few minutes for a reply but it didn’t come. She really missed him that day since they were asked to work in groups. They had to take a picture that contained the following elements: light, shadow, line, shape, form, texture, color, size, and depth. It was a difficult exercise. She didn’t know the students in her group that well. She knew the names of just a few. Still, they were all very nice and they managed to come up with a good plan for their shot. In the second hour they went outside to get that shot. They tried many things until Therese came up with the idea of taking a picture of a [train set](https://photos.smugmug.com/Journalism/General-news/2018-Small-Business-Saturday/i-7Bfjz8j/0/88c9fc4d/L/112418_LORAIN_SMALL_BUSINESS_SATURDAY_KB03-L.jpg) that was on a display window. The shot through the glass allowed them to play with light and shadow. The set added to the shape, texture and color. The distance of the shot gave the depth. It was perfect. When they all headed back to the building for lunch, Therese headed to Carol’s office. She couldn’t keep herself from seeing her, talking to her. She saw the door was closed so she knocked before entering.

“Come in!” she heard from the other side.

She opened the door and stood frozen. Rindy was sitting in Carol’s lab behind her desk.

“I’m sorry, Carol. I didn’t know you were busy. I’ll leave you …”

“Please stay,” Carol interrupted. “Rin, this is Therese. Remember the pictures we saw outside? She helped Mommy to pick them.” Carol looked at Therese with a wide smile. Therese took that as an invitation so she sat at the chair in front of them. She extended her hand to shake Rindy’s small hand.

“Nice to meet you, Rindy!”

Rindy got shy and hid her face in Carol’s chest.

“Don’t be shy! She’s very nice. And Mommy likes her … a lot.” Therese was caught off guard. She wasn’t expecting to hear Carol say that in front of her daughter. It made her happy though. Rindy turned to look at Therese and gave her a shy smile. Therese’s heart melted. She looked so much like Carol.

“I had to pick her up from school earlier because there was a problem with the water supply and they had to cancel class. They called Harge but he didn’t answer his phone so they reached me next,” explained Carol as she caressed Rindy’s head.

“Oh. I’m glad you were able to pick her up,” said Therese with a smile.

“Therese, would you please watch after her for a little while I go upstairs? I’ll be back before break is over.” Carol looked so adorable. How could she say no?

“Yes of course. Don’t worry. Go!”

“You’re an angel.” Therese shivered at those words. Her mind took her back to the first time she heard them. Carol didn’t say anything, she just winked at Therese before she left.

Therese had always liked kids. She had been very good with the younger girls at the orphanage, especially the newer ones. She was extra caring with them. She liked reading them stories and playing with them. Being around Rindy now made those feelings flourish again. Rindy was trying to draw on Carol’s desk but it was too high for her even sitting at Carol’s desk. She was struggling with reaching the crayons.

“Do you want me to help you with that? Do you want to sit on my lab?”

Rindy looked at her and nodded with a smile. Therese got up and went to Carol’s chair. She lifted Rindy up and had her sit on her lap. Now that she was taller, she could draw more comfortably. Therese asked her what she was drawing.

“That’s so pretty Rindy! Who are they?”

“It’s me and Mommy,” she replied.

“And your dad?”

“He’s not that much around and when he is, he’s angry. I don’t like him much.”

Therese pondered on what Rindy had just said. If she didn’t like to be around her father, couldn't Carol do something about it? Her thoughts were interrupted by Carol’s return.

“Oh, look at you two!” she said beaming with joy. “Looks like you’re getting along after all.”

“Mommy, can Ter… can she come home with us?”

“It’s Therese, sunshine. You’ll have to ask her,” replied Carol crossing her arms at her chest while staring at Therese.

“Yes, I’d love to. And you can call me Terry if you like.” She looked back at Carol with a smirk.

 

The moment they arrived at Carol’s apartment, Rindy took Therese by the hand and led them to her room. She wanted to show Therese her toys which she loved because Mommy had picked them. The room was painted in a [pastel pink color.](https://images.app.goo.gl/5AFzcd131JYfRKEC7) The furniture matched with the walls. Therese would have killed to have a room like that as a kid. Carol’s phone rang from the living room. Carol answered with a cold tone.

“Yes, she’s with me [...] You didn’t answer your the phone so the school called me to pick her up. I wasn’t going to leave her there, was I? [...] No, she’s staying the night here. You can pick her up tomorrow at school [...] Goodbye, Harge.”

Therese felt bad for having heard that heated conversation. Rindy seemed fine with it. Used to it. Carol stood at the door watching both of them. She looked stressed.

“C’mon, Rin. Let’s get a bath before dinner. Should we ask Therese what we should have?”

“YES!” exclaimed Rindy. She looked at Therese expectantly.

“How does pizza sound?” replied Therese, looking at Rindy first and then Carol. She had the final approval after all.

“Sounds lovely. There’s a menu by the fridge. Rindy likes cheese. Surprise me,” added Carol with a grin before she and Rindy left the room.

They had dinner at the table. Rindy was wearing a cute pink onesie. Therese had picked a pizza with half olives and half caramelized onion on top, as well as the cheese one for Rindy. They talked about Rindy’s school, her friends and what she liked to do. She was a very curious little girl like Carol had said. She wanted to know why Therese liked taking pictures.

“Will you take a picture of me and Mommy?”

“Yes. I’d love to. I have two cameras.”

“Two cameras?”

“Yes. They are both very special to me. They were given to me by people very close to my heart.” Therese searched for Carol’s eyes. They looked at each other until Rindy began to yawn.

“It’s time for bed. C’mon here and say goodbye to Therese,” ordered Carol. Rindy got down off her chair and went to Therese.

“Can you stay and read me a story?”

“Rin, Therese has to go. We all have school tomorrow.”

“It’s OK. Let’s go,” Therese said as she grabbed Rindy’s hand and headed to her room.

Rindy got in bed. She picked The Rainbow Fish. Therese started to read it to her. Shortly after, Carol came to join them. She stood by the door listening to Therese. Rindy fell asleep half in the story. Therese got up and put the book back to where it belonged. As she was approaching the door, Carol wiped a tear from her cheek. She was crying out of happiness. She took Therese’s hand and they walked out of Rindy’s room, closing the door behind them. Carol didn’t wait a minute longer before she took Therese’s face with her hands and kissed her passionately. Desperately. They had been apart for way too long. Therese wrapped her arms around her waist bringing them closer, their bodies breathing against each other. They finally broke the kiss, gasping for air.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” said Carol.

“Me too. I’ve missed you so much.”

“And I’ve missed your lips so very much.” Carol went in for a second round.

“It’s getting late. I should probably go.”

“Yes darling. I’d love to ask you to stay but with Rindy…”

“I know, Carol. I understand. Thank you for the lovely dinner. And for letting me meet Rindy.”

“You’re very close to my heart too, Therese.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! Sorry for the delay in the chapter. My computer half broke which made it difficult for me to work on it. It's finally fixed now, yaaay! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I wanted to give you more...because you've all been so patient and supporting. I also wanted to make it a body posi kind of chapter. 
> 
> Let me know what you think ;)
> 
> Thank you for all the love.


	15. I'll Never Leave You

Winter had finally ended to welcome spring. The city had transformed itself before Therese’s eyes: all the white and grey of the past cold winter suddenly gave step to the warmth of pink. [Cherry blossoms](https://media.timeout.com/images/103273081/image.jpg) were blooming everywhere. The days were sunnier and longer. People were out more enjoying the joy that came with the new season. If Therese didn’t already have reasons to be happy, the changes in nature were making her euphoric. She always had her camera with her to capture life in its ever shifting mode. One Friday afternoon, Carol had waited outside school for Therese. She hadn’t been alone; she had Rindy with her. The three of them went to a park nearby to enjoy the sunny day. They sat on the grass under a far away tree. Carol and Therese were both resting their backs against the tree trunk with their shoulders pressed next to each other.

“She's missed you,” said Carol, looking at Rindy who was playing with a ball a ways away from them.

“Yeah, me too. She’s a great kid. She reminds me a lot of you.”

“She does? How?”

“Well, she looks a lot like you, around the eyes. She has that smile brighter than the sun. She’s kind and funny. That’s all you, Carol.”

Carol turned her face to look at Therese who was looking at her with the most lovely look she had ever seen. Given that they were in a public place, Carol limited herself to squeeze her arm heartily. Therese smiled back in acknowledgement. She wanted to kiss her so badly. Being so close to her and not be able to touch her the way she wanted was torture.

“Mommy, come play with me!” Rindy yelled.

Therese thanked her for cutting the boiling desire growing inside her. Carol stood up and gave Therese a wink before she joined her daughter. Therese grabbed her camera bag and took her digital camera out. She focused on the mother and daughter who were sharing a laughter. She could feel a tear falling down as she took the pictures. Seeing Carol and Rindy together flooded Therese with memories from her childhood. She hadn’t realised until now how much she missed her mother. She remembered spending time with her in her garden surrounded by flowers. She felt more tears falling so she put the camera down. Right in that moment Carol looked at her and when she noticed Therese’s state, she took Rindy by the hand and ran to her.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Carol kneeled next to Therese and held her face in her hands. Rindy stood on the other side watching shyly.

“I’m fine …” she said between sobs. “It’s just that spring reminds me of my mother. She loved flowers. And seeing you with Rindy made me miss her so much.”

“Oh darling … come here.” Carol took her in a warm embrace. Therese buried her face in Carol’s chest. Carol rubbed her back to help Therese relax. Rindy stepped closer and hugged Therese from behind with all her body weight falling on top of Therese.

“Sunshine, we’re going to crunch Therese like this.”

Therese unburied her face and laughed.

“Please, crush me!”

Rindy squeezed Therese tighter and made a funny sound while doing so. Carol and Therese laughed. Therese could hear Carol’s deep laughter coming from inside her with the ear she had against her chest. That sound was all she needed to make her sadness go away. Those eyes and that smile were like the sun melting the sorrow in her heart.

* * *

 

It was now just two weeks before spring break. Therese and Richard were waiting for their history class to begin. Miss Gerhard was going through the topics for the upcoming test when suddenly Carol stepped into the room. Therese’s eyes widened and she stopped breathing for a second. She immediately remembered she was in the middle of a class so she tried to look normal.

“Class, for those who don’t know, this is Mrs. Aird. She runs the museum downstairs. She came to give you all some exciting news,” explained Abby.

“Good morning everyone. As you know, we’re just two weeks away from spring break. As we always do at this time of the year, we would like to invite you to dust off your best pictures you’ve collected so far and have them displayed. The exhibition will take place on the last Friday before spring break. You’ll have to hand me your pictures by the end of this week. There will be a small reception after the event. You’re welcome to invite family or friends. Any questions?” she finished, looking at Therese for the first time since she had arrived. Therese gathered her strength to speak.

“Is there a limit on the pictures? Or a special theme?” Therese said with a shaky voice.

“Good question!” Carol smiled at her. Therese felt sweat running down her back. She hoped Richard wasn’t noticing her nervousness. _Why does she make me so nervous every time?_ she asked herself.

“We’d like to keep it up to a maximum of two per person. None of you is obliged to enter the exhibition so don’t feel pressured. And there’s no theme,” concluded Carol.

“Thank you, Mrs. Aird, for your time. I’m sure we’ll have beautiful work on display,” said Abby as she swept the class with her eyes stopping at Therese for a few seconds before she turned to Carol.

“Oh, I’m sure we will,” responded Carol. She discreetly shared one last look at Therese before she turned around and left.

Therese could feel how her body had turned into a huge ball of sweat. She was sure that last exchange between Abby and Carol was directed at her. The idea to have her work displayed in front of other people made her extremely nervous. Although Carol had said it wasn’t mandatory to join, she knew she would let her down if she didn’t take part. She already knew which were her favorite pictures but they all had Carol in them. She would have to go through her portfolio and find more suitable ones for the exhibition. After what had seemed an eternity, the bell finally rang. Therese got up together with Richard and as she walked past Abby’s desk she heard “Good luck picking your pictures”. She knew she had meant it at both of them but she smiled at Therese. She felt a knot in her stomach. “Thank you. We will,” replied Richard.

As they were walking down the stairs Therese’s phone buzzed. She opened Carol’s text.

Carol: You looked cute all sweaty and nervous ;)

“God!” she let out.

“Are you OK?” asked Richard who was descending in front of her.

“Yes, sorry. I tripped,” lied Therese.

“Would you like to get together after class and go through our photographs?”

“Yes. That would be good. We can go to my place.”

“Cool. I’ll stop at mine quickly to gather the rest and I’ll come by later. Text me your address.”

 

When she came back to her apartment, she immediately began to tidy up. She’d never had visit besides Dannie and Tom. And that one time Carol visited shortly before their date. She made her bed and cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. She also went through her pictures and separated the ones with Carol in them. When she was just about to change, the door rang.

“Hi again,” cheered Richard.

“Hi. Come in.”

“Nice place, Therese.”

“Thank you. Let’s sit on the couch. It’s more comfortable.”

Therese told Richard to spread his pictures on the coffee table to be able to see them all. He definitely had a taste for color and architecture. So different from her love for black and white and nature.

“They are really good, Richard. I love your composition.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes! I really like this one,” said Therese, holding a shot of [modern buildings](https://www.adorama.com/alc/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/shutterstock_189065975-2-825x465.jpg) taken from below.

“Well, that’s the one then,” said Richard smiling.

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s your exhibition.”

“Are you kidding? You have a great eye, Therese. I trust your taste. Let’s see yours now.”

Therese displayed hers on the table. Richard looked at them one by one.

“Oh my God! Is this Mrs. Aird?” he exclaimed while looking at one of the pictures closely.

Therese’s face turned white. She thought she had separated all of her pictures but clearly she had missed one. At her lack of response, Richard showed her the picture he was holding. It was one of the shots she had taken at Montauk Lighthouse. It was a shot from Carol’s back but she had her head slightly tilt revealing part of her profile. It was unmistakably her.

“Yes,” Therese breathed before she covered her face and started to shake.

“It’s OK. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Richard put a hand on her shoulder.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Richard.” Therese uncovered her face. There were tears in her eyes.

“It’s fine, Therese. Don’t worry. I just hope that you’re happy.” He was sincere.

“Yes, I’m very happy. For the first time in my life,” she said with a weak smile.

“That’s all what matters. She seems very special to you.”

“She is.” Therese wiped her tears.

Richard went back through her pictures and picked two. One of a [girl jumping](https://c.wallhere.com/photos/8c/f3/street_rain_boots_reflection_run_running_jumping_flying-414965.jpg!d) on a street and another of a [mother with her child](https://withquiethands.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/img_6785.jpg) sitting on a pier.

“I like these ones.” Richard handed them to Therese.

“Well, those are the ones then,” she smiled at him.

* * *

 

Friday arrived and so did the deadline to hand in the photographs for the exhibition. Therese headed to Carol’s office during her lunch break. She knew it was less likely for anybody else to be there at that time.

“I just came to hand you my pictures for next Friday,” said Therese, extending her arm, not looking at Carol.

“What’s going on with you?” She grabbed Therese by the wrist. “Look at me, Therese.”

“Richard helped me with the pictures the other day and he found one of you at the lighthouse. I thought I had separated all of your pictures. I’m sorry, Carol.”

“All right. Did he say something?”

“He recognized you. He said I didn’t have to explain but he could see that you were special to me so he left it at that.” Therese looked at her with a hesitant look. Carol smiled at her.

“You’re not mad?” asked Therese.

“Why would I be mad, Therese?”

“Because … he knows something. It was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Therese. He doesn’t know everything. It actually makes me happy that he could see that … something in you.” Carol stood up and went to Therese. She kissed her warmly. Therese could feel her guilt disappearing.

“It’s going to be fine, angel.” They hugged tightly before Therese returned to class.

* * *

 

Exhibition day finally came. After her last class, Therese headed straight home to get ready for the night. She bought a [black dress with white polka dots](https://eppic.s3.amazonaws.com/AS05440WB-L3.jpg) together with high heels. She put her hair up in a bun and added a touch of red to her lips. She had asked Dannie to go with her but he and Tom had already booked flights to Mexico to celebrate their anniversary there. She was hesitant of the idea of being alone but the chance to see Carol was one not to be missed. She arrived at the school a few minutes early, hoping she would see Carol before the place got crowded. Fortunately, the museum was still mostly empty when she got inside. She quickly found Carol standing right in front of her pictures. She was wearing a [black dress with a detailed front in pastel colors](https://photos.laineygossip.com/lifestyle/cate-dragon-premiere-09jun14-02.jpg). She smiled all the way until she stood next to her. They both observed the pictures in front of them.

“They are very good, Therese. You look beautiful by the way.”

“So do you.” Therese gave her a side look before she returned her attention to the pictures. “You really think they are good? Wish I could have used the ones from the trip.” Therese sighed.

“Like the one you took while I was sleeping?” Carol asked in a seductive way. Therese’s cheeks turned red.

“Oh. I-... You knew?” Therese stuttered.

“I hope you’ll show it to me someday soon.” Carol winked and turned to the door to receive more guests.

Therese was left speechless. She didn’t notice Richard approaching.

“Hey, Therese! You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“Hi Richard. I’m OK. I’m just nervous about all this,” she responded, pointing at the pictures on display. She really was nervous.

“It’s going to be fine. It’s a party after all. Let me introduce you to my parents.” Richard’s parents approached them. Therese greeted them kindly. They chatted for a short while until Richard took them on a tour around the building.

 

The room began to fill quickly. Carol gave a short welcoming speech before she let the students show their own work. Therese had nobody to show hers to. She started to feel anxious, questioning if it had been a good idea showing up. Opportunely, alcohol started to flow. She accepted a glass of wine from a waiter who passed by and started to drink. She gave a start when Genevieve appeared next to her.

“No family tonight, huh?” asked Genevieve. Therese finished the rest of her glass before she answered.

“No. Same as you, I see.”

“Yeah. The perks of being a visitor in this country. Which ones are yours?”

“Those ones.” Therese pointed at them.

“Oh yes, they are very you.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“They tell a story. I heard you’re very good at capturing the essence in things.”

“Thank you.” Therese took another glass of wine. She could feel the first one already hitting her system. She looked for Carol with her eyes but she didn’t find her. She felt desperate to be near her.

“Want to join me outside for a smoke?” proposed Genevieve.

“Yes, sure.” Therese wanted to get out of that room. It was getting warmer. Or maybe it was just her.

Therese almost tripped on her way out. Genevieve helped her lean against the wall.

“Maybe you should stop drinking that,” she said, pointing at the glass in Therese’s hand.

“And maybe you shouldn’t tell me what to do,” Therese scoffed as she gulped the remains of wine in her glass.

Genevieve stood shocked at Therese’s response.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that. I-...” Therese was interrupted by Genevieve’s lips crashing on hers. She had her trapped against the wall. Her mind was in such a daze that it took her a few seconds to realise what was going on. Just when Genevieve was about to deepen the kiss Therese reacted and pushed her away.

“No, Genevieve. No!” said Therese, trying to regain her clarity.

“What’s wrong? Are you seeing someone?”

“That’s none of your business! I’m going back inside.”

Once she got back inside the museum she started to look for Carol again. She needed to hug her after the awkward moment she had just experienced. Although it hadn’t been her fault, she felt dirty. She felt she had failed Carol. She didn’t see her anywhere but she did spot Abby and Crystal not far away.

“Hi Crystal. Hi Abby. Have you seen Carol?”

“We thought she was with you. She said she was going to search for you,” explained Crystal.

Therese went pale. _She can’t. She didn’t. This can’t be happening…_

“Are you OK, Therese?” asked Abby holding Therese by the arm fearing she would fall down.

“Yes. I gotta go.”

 

Therese walked as fast as her legs let her towards the door. She took her phone out of her purse and dialed Carol’s number. It rang without an answer. She tried again with the same result. She stopped a taxi and headed to Carol’s place. She could barely breathe on the ride there. Her mind kept taking her back to moments before. _I shouldn’t have drank that wine. I’m so stupid. Why did I go outside with her?_ The taxi finally arrived at Carol’s place. Therese barely made it to the building’s door; she was shaking like a leaf. The doorman already knew Therese from previous times so he let her in without question. The elevator ride felt like a space capsule on its way up. Air became thin and time extremely slow. When the doors opened again, she gasped for air. She walked towards Carol’s with her heart feeling like a stone in her chest. She knocked on her door. No response. She knocked again this time harder.

“Carol, it’s me. Please let me in!”

“Leave, Therese. Please,” Carol answered from the other side of the door between sobs.

Therese’s heart turned to dust at the sound of Carol’s cry.

“I’ll never leave you, Carol” she whispered as she let herself slid down against the wall. She sat with her knees up and her head buried between her arms. She let herself cry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Thank you for all the beautiful feedback as always! I'm glad you liked Rindy and Therese finally interacting. I hope you liked this short one, too. 
> 
> Thank you for all your support. Keep those comments coming! :)


	16. Three words

After crying her eyes out, Therese gave in to sleep. She curled herself under her coat and rested her head on her purse right in front of Carol’s door. The alcohol and the heartbreak had consumed her completely. She was determined to make Carol listen to her; to let her explain what had truly happened between her and Genevieve earlier that night. She would wait all her life for that door to open again if necessary. Fortunately, she wouldn’t have to wait that long. At some point in the early hours of the morning Carol’s apartment door opened. The sudden lack of support on her back woke her up.

“Therese! What are you doing there?” Carol stood still with one hand holding the door knob. Her eyes looked red and puffy. She had black mascara stains all over her face. She had changed into her pajamas.

“Carol …” she whined. When Therese tried to sit up straight again she felt a pain on her right side as a result of sleeping on the hard floor all night.

“Let me help you,” said Carol as she lowered herself to grab Therese by the arm to bring her up. She then picked up her coat and purse and led them inside her apartment. They both stood in front of each other. They both were in so much pain.

“I got a call from the doorman. Some neighbors complained about you sleeping outside my door. What were you thinking, Therese?”

“I’m sorry, Carol. I wasn’t thinking straight. All I want is for you to listen to me. Please!” Therese gave a step forward to get closer to Carol but instead she walked to the couch and sat on it.

“Sit, Therese,” she added, looking at her hands resting on her lap. Therese stood frozen for a few seconds, unsure how to proceed. Carol had her walls up and she wasn’t sure how she would bring them down. She sat on the couch cautiously, keeping a distance between the two. She waited for Carol to say something.

“Speak, Therese.” She looked up at her. She looked and sounded exhausted.

“I-... what you saw earlier. Genevieve and I … I didn't want it to happen. I had had some wine and my head was fuzzy. We went outside and before I could do something, she kissed me. I pushed her away, Carol! Please believe me!” implored Therese. She had new tears running down her face. She was sure she had run out of them the night before. Her heart still didn’t feel alive inside her. The only one who could bring it to life again was looking at her with hurt eyes.

“I believe you, Therese,” whispered Carol. She was also about to break down again.

“You do?”

“Yes. And it’s not that that breaks my heart …” She was sobbing.

“Carol, what is it? Please tell me!” Therese took Carol’s hands in hers and to her surprise, she didn’t remove them. She started to make circles with her thumbs.

“Seeing you two together made me realise that’s what you deserve, Therese. Someone young as you without a position that could put you in danger; without an ex husband still trying to control her life; without a kid to look after. Someone you can start a life with without any complications. Someone you can take out in public and be able to kiss or touch without feeling like hiding. You deserve better, angel.” Just when Carol was about to pull her hands from Therese’s, Therese grabbed them harder.

“No, Carol! That’s not right. I don’t want any of that. I want you.” Therese moved closer and held Carol’s face with both hands. She looked straight into those ocean blue eyes that looked so turmoiled.

“I want everything that comes with you, all the good and the bad. I don’t want simple. My life has never been simple and without all those complications, as you call them, I wouldn’t be here sitting next to you. You make me happy, Carol. You’ve shown me things I never thought I would. You make me want to better at anything I do. You bring the best out of me.”

“Oh angel! You do the same for me, too.” With more tears coming falling from her eyes, she mirrored Therese and held her face with her hands.

“Carol I-... I love you.”

That was it. That was Therese’s last effort to win her back. She let it out. For the first time in her life her mouth pronounced the most beautiful words _I love you_. Therese could still hear them inside her head. There was no turning back. If Carol didn’t take her back at least she knew she had given her last breath. She searched for whatever answer in Carol’s eyes but they were still so clouded she couldn’t read them. She closed her eyes and when she was just about to move her face away, Carol held tighter to her. Therese opened her eyes again with a puzzled look.

“Don’t you know I love you, too?” And with that, Carol pulled Therese closer and kissed her. It was rushed and full of emotions. There was pain and forgiveness at first; soft kisses giving step to deeper ones full of passion … and love. Unmistakably love. Carol slid one hand and held Therese from the back of her head, bringing her mouth even closer if that was possible. She danced her tongue inside Therese’s mouth causing moans in the younger one. Therese’s mind was in a different kind of daze than what it had been earlier. She broke the kiss to breathe. She was panting. She ran her thumb over Carol’s swollen lips before she took her hand and stood up. She looked at Carol, waiting for her to follow. Her eyes were already darkened by lust so it didn’t take long. Carol led them both to [her bedroom](http://silverinvesting.info/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/grey-bedroom-ideas-decorating-dark-gray-walls-fancy-classy-designs.jpg). Therese had never been there before. It was so Carol. There were paintings hanging from the dark grey walls. The bed looked big and comfortable. She couldn’t pay attention to much else since Carol started to claim her mouth again.

“As beautiful as you look in that dress, I want it off you,” Carol whispered in her mouth.

She turned Therese around and started to unzip her dress while kissing her back as soon as it became exposed. She pushed it down until it reached the floor. Carol gasped at the image of Therese in red lacy matching [underwear](https://images.asos-media.com/groups/asos-design-roxy-lace-padded-longline-triangle-and-pant/21500-group-1?%24n_480w%24&wid=476).

“You look so darn fine, Therese,” she whispered in her ear this time. Therese felt a shiver run down her spine.

Therese turned around and started to unbutton Carol’s pajama top and to her delight, she wasn’t wearing a bra, revealing her gorgeous breasts as soon as she took it off. She cupped them with both hands. Oh how badly she had missed them! She placed soft kisses around them, provoking moans in Carol. She continued her way down until she kneeled before Carol and reached the rim of her pajama pants which she pulled down together with her underwear. Therese placed her nose right at Carol’s pussy to smell her exquisite aroma. She had missed that, too. She got up slowly, running her nails along the sides of Carol’s beautiful long legs causing goosebumps on the older woman. She grabbed her butt cheeks and squeezed them hard as she kissed her with the same intensity. Meanwhile, Carol slid her hands behind Therese to get rid of her bra. She broke the kiss to take Therese to her bed. As she laid down, Therese remembered how nervous and insecure she had been the first time, unable to enjoy every minute of it. This time around was very different. Her mind was clear, her body relaxed. She wanted Carol to make love to her. Carol took off Therese’s last piece of clothing.

“Hmmm, I see some changes down here,” said Carol, running her fingers through Therese’s mound which looked more trimmed.

“I thought you’d like it,” added Therese in a seductive way. She no longer felt shy about the topic.

“I very much do so, baby.” Carol slid her tongue through her bottom lip. Therese got even wetter at the word baby. It was her undoing.

Carol spread her legs open and started to place soft kisses inside her right thigh, slowly. She did the same on her left one. Therese started to thrust her hips forward.

“What is it, baby?” Carol asked in between kisses.

“Carol … please,” she breathed.

“Please, what? Say what you want.”

“I want … you. I want your mouth”

“And where would that be?” Carol was playing with her.

“Ah Carol! In my vagina!” exclaimed Therese.

“I’m glad to see you’re using your words,” and with that she finally went down on Therese.

Carol slid her tongue all the way through Therese’s wet folds. Therese took a sharp intake of breath at the contact. Carol repeated her movements with more intensity each time. Therese felt a bolt of electricity running down her entire body with each thrust of Carol’s plain tongue. When Carol moved to her very sensitive clit, Therese let out a cry. The pleasure was growing and growing. She took her nipples with her fingers to add to that growing sensation. Carol slid one finger inside Therese.

“Another one,” she said, panting.

“Are you sure, angel?”

Therese nodded with her head. She let out another cry when Carol slid both fingers in. She did it very delicately to allow Therese to adjust. She then started to move them in and out, following the rhythm of her tongue at Therese’s clit. Therese soon started to relax and enjoy the intensified feeling, her moans following along. Carol curled her fingers to bring Therese to her final destination. She could feel her walls tighter around her fingers.

“Come for me, baby,” ordered Carol, continuing her movements.

Therese felt the last wave of pleasure hitting her body hard before she let herself go completely. Carol kissed her way up to Therese’s mouth before she laid beside her.

“Carol, that was …”

“Quite something, huh? And it's going to get better each time. Now that you know what you want,” added Carol with a wink.

“Yes, I want you. I love you, Carol”

“And I love you, darling,” she said before kissing Therese.

They stayed curled up with their legs entwined.

“I was going to tell you earlier that I’m picking up Rin in a couple of hours. Harge has another of his sudden and mysterious business trips. Honestly, I’m not complaining. It’s her birthday next Monday.” Therese looked up to see Carol with a bright smile on her face.

“She’s going to be six! My baby is growing up so fast.” Carol’s smile turned quickly into a sad one. Therese grabbed one of her hands in hers.

“Carol, don’t get mad at me but ... why can’t you spend more time with Rindy? She told me she doesn’t like her father very much.”

“Oh, she did?” Carol’s eyes were becoming more watery. “In order to get my freedom from Harge I had to give her up. Since he couldn’t have me, I couldn’t have Rindy. I feel so guilty for leaving her with him but I just couldn’t keep living against my own grain, could I? I was going to be a terrible mother.” Tears started to fall down her face.

“Of course not, Carol. You deserve to be happy. Does he know you like women?”

“He knew about Abby and I. He could never forgive me for that even though it happened before him. I guess he always feared I would end up leaving him for another woman. And that would be a low blow for his ego. And I wanted a family, yes. Rindy came in as a blessing. She is the only reason why I tried to make it work but the truth is that I couldn't keep lying to myself. Thanks to Abby’s support, I finally filed for divorce. I haven’t talked to my mother since then.”

“You have a mother?” exclaimed Therese in surprise.

“Yes. My father died a couple years ago. She thinks I’ve gone completely insane for throwing away a stable and prestigious marriage. She still believes in all that.”

“That’s unfair, Carol! How could she?”

“I know angel but that’s how it is. I couldn’t be more than happy to have the people I love around me and that’s all I need.” She kissed Therese on the top of her head. Therese hugged her tighter.

“What do you have panned for her birthday?” asked Therese, changing to a happier subject.

“Given the short notice, Abby offered her summer house again. We’ll have a few of her best friends come and stay the night. And Abby and Crystal of course. We can do some fun beach activities.”

“That sounds great!”

“So what do you say about spending your break with Rindy and me by the beach?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! I’d love to,” Therese raised up and started to place kisses all over Carol’s face, making her giggle.

“Stop! C’mon, let’s get ready. While I pick her up, why don’t you go to your place and pack a bag?”

“Yeah … Carol, would you please lend me some clothes?”

“Of course darling, but first let’s shower.”

* * *

 

Therese got home and started to pack for her week with Carol and Rindy at the beach house. In that moment she realized she didn’t have a swimming suit. She had to pack so little when she left her country so winter had been a priority. And it’s not like she wore many swimsuits at the orphanage anyway. She would have to hit a shopping mall before they left for the beach. She also needed to get some cute frames for the pictures she had taken of Carol and Rindy at the park. Rindy had asked her to take their picture so she’d give them to her as a present. She changed into a pair of sneakers but kept on the clothes Carol had lent her. Since Carol was taller than her, the only things that fit her were a pair of black yoga pants and a thin pink sweatshirt that looked a little baggy on her. She took it to her nose and smelled Carol’s perfume. She didn’t want to take it off. She grabbed her bags and her cameras and called for an Uber.

 

As soon as Therese passed Carol’s apartment door, Rindy came running to her and gave her a warm hug. Carol took her bags and headed to her bedroom to put them there.

“Mommy told me you’re coming to my birthday! Is it true?” she asked, excited.

“Yes. Unless you don’t want me to,” said Therese in a playful tone. Carol was watching their interaction with a smile on her face.

“Yes! Yes! Please come. Aunty Abby has a big house by the beach. Mommy said we could play in the sand and even swim! Can you swim, Therese?”

“Actually, I can't,” confessed Therese with a nervous look. She had never seen the ocean before she had been at Abby’s house. It looked so huge and alive that it had scared her.

“Don’t worry! Mommy can teach you. She taught me,” said Rindy with a proud smile looking at Carol and then back to Therese.

“Your mom is quite the teacher, huh?” asked Therese. She was actually surprised to see Carol blushing at her comment. She turned away and headed for the kitchen.

Therese and Rindy followed her hand in hand.

“Oh Carol, I’ll go change so I can return your clothes. I don’t want to get them dirty.”

“Nonsense. They are yours now. That sweatshirt looks much better on you. Don’t you think so, Rin?”

“Yes, Mommy! Keep it!”

Therese and Rindy played together while Carol finished dinner. Once it was ready, they all sat at the table. Rindy sat next to Carol and Therese across from her. Carol had made noodles with salad on the side.

“Are you staying with us, Therese?” asked Rindy with her mouth full. Therese was caught off guard with her fork halfway to her mouth. She didn’t know how to answer. She hadn’t thought it through when Carol had made the proposal. She looked at Carol with wide open eyes.

“Yes sunshine, she is. And she will stay with us until school is back. Are you fine with that?”

“Yes! I like Therese! You like her too, don’t you Mommy?”

“Yes I do, sunshine. And she likes me too.” Therese nodded with her head in support. “Do you know how Aunty Abby and Crystal like each other?”

“Yes I do. They love each other,” she said with a smile.

“Exactly. Well … Mommy and Therese like each other just like that.” Carol extended her left hand to take Therese’s in hers and gave it a little squeeze. Therese stopped breathing. She was anxious about Rindy’s reaction. What if she didn’t like the idea?

“REALLY?” Rindy exclaimed. She had excitement written all over her face.

“Yes, Rin. Are you happy?” asked Carol while grabbing Rindy’s hand.

“YES MOMMY, YES!” She got off her chair and gave Carol a tight hug; then she went to Therese to do the same. Just then Therese allowed herself to breathe again. She felt such a relief. She kissed Rindy on her head before she looked at her and smiled back.

“Rin, come here,” ordered Carol. Rindy did so and stood in front of her. “You can’t tell this to Daddy. If he finds out, he could send Therese far away. Back to her country. Do you understand that?” Rindy nodded with a serious look.

“I need you to tell me you do, sunshine. It is very important.”

“Yes Mommy, I understand.”

“I know it’s not good to lie, but we wouldn’t like to lose Therese, right?”

“No, Mommy! I don’t want her to go!” Rindy almost had tears in her eyes.

“It’s OK, baby. She’s not going away but we have to protect her, OK? We have to keep it a secret. Only Abby and Crystal know. Promise you won’t say a word to anybody?”

“Promise, Mommy!” Rindy covered her mouth with both hands and made a funny look. They all started to laugh.

After dinner, Rindy insisted on watching a movie together on the couch. Carol made some sweet popcorn. They sat on the couch with Rindy in the middle of Therese and Carol with a blanket across them.

“Rin, why don’t we let Therese pick the movie for tonight?”

“Yes Therese, pick!”

Therese didn’t have to think much. She knew which one she wanted to close this perfect day, this perfect night.

“Hmmmm, how about The Wizard of Oz? Do you know it?”

“No,” answered Rindy.

“Ugh, I’m such a terrible mother,” said Carol in an overreacting way.

“Well, I’m glad you haven’t. It’s my favorite movie and I’m happy to watch it with you.”

Rindy fell asleep halfway into the movie. She had curled next to Therese who had an arm around her. Carol turned around to check on them to find that beautiful picture. She grabbed Therese’s free hand and kissed it warmly, a tear falling on top of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Thank you again for all your comments! I hope I didn't make you suffer that much with the last chapter. A little drama never hurt nobody, right? I hope you enjoyed how things moved forward. 
> 
> Let me know in the comments!! 
> 
> Much love as always


	17. Hold on to Love

On Saturday they all went to the mall to get a couple of things for Rindy’s birthday party. Rindy loved pink so decorations, balloons, and some sweets were going to be in that color. Carol also picked some beach toys as well as inflatables in fun shapes: donut and unicorn. While Carol and Rindy were picking up the food, Therese took the chance to go find a frame for the picture she had taken of Carol and Rindy. As she was making her way back, she passed in front of a toy shop and saw a cute [pink teddy bear](https://cdn3.volusion.com/9nxdj.fchy5/v/vspfiles/photos/AR-20507-2.jpg?1421069862). It reminded Therese of the one she had as a kid at the orphanage. She got the teddy as well. She texted Carol to let her know that she was going to check on some swimming suits for herself, to which Carol replied _I’m not going to miss that._ A few minutes later, Carol and Rindy arrived at the shop. Therese wanted something modest; a one piece. Carol was thinking the opposite since her options were all tiny two pieces that made Therese blush. Carol insisted on her trying a [colorful bikini](https://images.sellersourcebook.com/users/111957/vs_sequin_waves_triangle_front.jpg) with sequins on it. As she was putting it on, Therese felt insecure about the amount of skin it was exposing. It was one thing was to be feel comfortable with her body in front of Carol but it was so different to show her body to other people. When she stepped out of the changing room she could see Carol’s jaw drop. It made her feel more self-conscious.

“That looks absolutely divine on you,” commented Carol. Therese felt her eyes all over her.

“I’m not sure, Carol. I’m too pale for this. I don’t feel comfortable,” replied Therese as she tried to cover her bare stomach.

“It’s fine, darling. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Try the other one you liked,” said Carol with a smile.

Therese went back inside the changing room and tried on the [black one piece](https://d2ljriwso24fyj.cloudfront.net/media/CACHE/images/products/the-ida-one-piece-swimsuit-black-3-b2ca/96725fe24ac8477afb440849ad47847e.jpg) she had picked. She felt more like herself in it. She came out one last time.

“Uhhmm, yes. That one fits you like a glove.” The black contrasted beautifully with Therese’s pale skin. She smiled at Carol’s approval.

As they were in line to check out, Carol grabbed the first bikini piece Therese had rejected and put it in the counter to take with the rest of the items. She just winked at Therese without saying a word.

* * *

 

Monday finally arrived. They woke up very early in the morning since the guests would be arriving around noon at Abby’s. They packed everything they had bought for the party as well as their bags in Carol’s car. Abby had offered to be in charge of the cake which was going to be a surprise for Rindy. The trip was full of laughter, stories, and singing. For Therese it felt like family.

Abby and Crystal were already at the house when the three of them arrived. Given that Abby was a better cook than Carol, she therefore named herself in charge of the food: burgers for lunch and homemade mini pizzas for dinner. She had brought different toppings to go on top. Therese started to help Carol with the decorations around the house and outside as well. Rindy’s friends arrived at the appointed time. They were four of her best girlfriends. It was going to be one house full of women. In some way, it reminded Therese of her days at the orphanage only this time there was a loving and fun atmosphere around. Most of Rindy’s friends were curious and energetic like herself, but there was one girl who seemed more shy and introverted than the rest. Therese immediately felt drawn to her. It was in her nature to care for those who seemed to need it the most. As food and snacks started to be passed around, Therese got closer to her to check on her. They started to talk. Her name was Lily. Her mother’s second favorite flower. She couldn’t help but smile at the memory. Shortly after, Abby announced that the burgers were ready and the girls started to jump around her with their buns ready. The sight of a barbecue grill and Abby wearing an apron was something Therese never thought she would live to see. She laughed.

“Looks like someone is having fun already,” said Carol as she approached Therese in a seductive way. Therese stopped laughing as she got nervous. Carol always had that effect on her when they were around other people. It seemed like Carol enjoyed playing this game with her.

“Yes, I am. This reminds me a lot of my childhood. A house full of women and little girls.”

“And you always seem to reach out to those in special need.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lily. She lost her mother last year. She’s been struggling of course. The way you immediately connected with her. I hadn’t seen that. You’re truly something, Belivet.”

Carol slid her arm around her waist and gave her a light squeeze. She kept her hand there. Therese relaxed into the touch since everybody else was distracted by the food.

 

After they finished eating, they watched some TV while they had popsicles. Carol said they had to wait at least an hour before they could all go swimming. The adults used that time to relax at the porch. Abby and Crystal told them how their wedding plans were going. Since they were both busy with work, they were planning it to happen the following year. They said they wanted Therese to take the pictures which made her feel special. She wasn't sure if she would be able to stay that long in the country but she didn’t say anything since she didn’t want to ruin the moment. After the promised hour passed, everybody changed into their swimming suits. Therese put on her black one piece with a pair of white shorts on top. Carol, who had been helping the girls, stayed behind to change while the others grabbed the toys and headed to the beach.

The sky was clear and although it wasn’t summer yet, it was hot under the sun. They settled not very far away from the house. Therese got distracted with the girls who wanted to know when they could go to the water. She didn’t notice Carol approaching until she was standing in front of her. Therese’s eyes scanned all the way from the tip of her toes all the way up to her gorgeous face. She was wearing a [red trikini](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/132728012065-0-1/s-l1000.jpg) that accentuated all her curves, specially her breasts. She had added a [blue sarong](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0479/6829/products/Mosaic-full-length-batik-sarong.jpg?v=1529876218) wrapped around her waist leaving one of her beautiful long legs undercover. She also had on a pair of dark sunglasses and a sun hat to complete her glamorous look. Therese was so in total awe of the beauty she had in front of her that she forgot how to breathe.

“Therese, are you OK?” asked Rindy bringing her back to reality.

“Oh, she’s more than OK Rindy,” answered Abby instead. She had been watching the whole scene. “She might not need to go in the water after all,” she joked.

Therese gave her an evil look.

“Stop it, Abby. I brought some drinks,” said Carol as she placed the compact beach fridge on the sand.

She had also brought sunscreen. She started to apply it on the girls’ faces, shoulders and backs. When she finished with them she turned around to do the same to Therese. She shivered at the contact of Carol’s gentle touch on her skin. She could never get enough of it. When Carol asked her to help her, she had to fight the urge to kiss that beautiful toned back. She massaged the lotion all over with both hands adding more pressure to Carol’s lower back, causing her to release a low moan.

“Can I get the same massage?” interrupted Abby. In response, Carol threw the bottle of lotion at her which almost hit her head.

“Rude!” exclaimed Abby.

 

Before swimming, Carol told the girls to built the biggest sand castle they could. There were buckets and shovels for everyone. They quickly started to work on it. Carol and Rindy went to the shore and picked some beautiful shells and stones to decorate the castle. They actually managed to make a tall one with two towers. [The buckets](https://previews.123rf.com/images/nito500/nito5001405/nito500140500147/28469358-an-orange-toy-bucket-and-a-sandcastle-on-the-sand-of-a-beach.jpg) Carol had bought had actually the perfect shape to make it look like real castle walls. Once it was finished, Therese took a picture of the girls next to their work of art. They were so happy with the result. After that, they all headed to the water with Carol leading the way, Therese following behind. [The water](https://www.longisland.com/site_media/images/resource/HamptonBeach.jpg) was of a beautiful emerald green with white waves crashing at the shore. Therese hesitated as she got closer to the water. The first contact with the cold water almost froze her right on the spot. The waves roared like a lion. She watched as everybody got further into the water, leaving her behind. Rindy looked back and noticed Therese's scared face and the fact that she wasn't moving. She ran back to her and grabbed her hand.

“C’mon, Therese.” She smiled at her.

Therese nodded and they both walked hand in hand to where the rest of the group was. It didn’t take long for Therese’s body to get used to the temperature. She finally reached Carol who was standing, with the water up to her waist, as a barrier between the shore and deeper waters.

“You're shaking. Are you OK, darling?”

“Yes. I'm just getting used to it. I like it.”

“I knew you would. This the ocean, after all,” Carol said with a bright smile.

They watched as the girls jumped, swam and ran in the water. They took turns on the inflatables. Even Therese got on the unicorn one. She hadn’t had this much fun in a long time. She felt like one of the girls. When it got closer to sunset, everybody was ready to head back to the house. They all took turns to take a shower and change into their pajamas. Therese helped Abby to prepare the mini pizzas for dinner. They enjoyed them in between laughs and conversation. Finally, the time to blow out the candles arrived. Rindy was beyond happy to see the [unicorn cake](https://foodandwine.ie/uploads/article/2018/5/1166/7_unicornU52B0900.jpg?t=1536756692) Abby had bought her. She also opened her presents. She loved Therese’s teddy bear and the picture with Carol; she was happy Therese had remembered it. Once they all had full tummies, they gathered in the living room to watch Frozen. Abby had placed an inflatable mattress in front of the TV. It was big enough to fit all of the girls. Since Therese admitted to not having watched the movie, Rindy asked her to join them. The rest of the adults cleaned the kitchen before they headed upstairs. Carol had watched the film far too many times to go through another viewing. She hoped Therese would join her in bed after the movie was finished but she didn’t. She went downstairs to find all the girls, including Therese, asleep. She turned off the TV and the lights and headed back to bed.

* * *

 

The next morning they all had breakfast before the parents arrived to pick up Rindy’s friends. Carol did the cooking this time since it was her favorite meal to prepare. She made blueberry pancakes for everyone. Once the parents arrived and left with everybody, Abby and Crystal did the same, leaving Carol, Therese and Rindy to enjoy themselves. They ate leftover pizza for lunch. In the afternoon they headed back to the beach. This time Carol and Rindy encouraged Therese to go further into the water. She even felt confident enough to submerge herself for the first time. It was such a lovely feeling and she was so happy to share it with them. Therese took more pictures of Carol and Rindy. At one point Carol insisted to have one with the three of them, so Therese set the camera timer. She squeezed in the middle of Carol and Rindy, both of them hugging her tight. She felt so much joy in that moment she almost let a tear fall. It felt like home – something she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

At night, they set up Rindy to sleep in the same room where Therese had stayed the first time so they could be close to one another. Even though Rindy was used to sleeping alone, it was a strange house after all. Carol and Therese were sleeping in Carol’s room. It brought her so many beautiful memories of her first time with the woman she loved.

“I missed you last night,” said Carol, gently stroking Therese’s face.

“I missed you, too. I didn’t mean to fall asleep downstairs.”

“I know, darling. I hope you enjoyed yourself yesterday and it wasn’t too much with all the girls around.”

“Not at all. I really had lots of fun. I felt like a child again,” said Therese between giggles.

“You know … I was jealous of them. I wanted to have you all for myself.”

Carol slid one hand underneath Therese’s pajama top and caressed her stomach. Therese felt goosebumps all over her body. Carol continued her way up until she cupped one of her breasts while she gently circled the nipple with her thumb. Therese left out a moan. Just when Therese was about to reach out and touch Carol, a voice interrupted them.

“Mommy … can I sleep with you?” Rindy was standing at the bathroom door that connected both rooms.

Carol quickly removed her hand from under Therese’s top. She was glad the lights were off. Only the moonlight was illuminating the room.

“Is it OK with you?” Carol whispered to Therese.

“Yes of course,” she replied.

“Hop in, sunshine!”

Rindy placed herself in the middle of the two. They all fell asleep quickly.

* * *

 

The next morning, the three of them went downstairs to have breakfast. Carol sat Rindy at the table with some pencils and paper to entertain herself while Carol and Therese got busy; that is, Carol at the stove doing all the cooking while Therese stood there admiring her. She loved watching Carol being so domestic. Therese could tell she enjoyed these little tasks since she always had a smile on her face. Carol was making Rindy’s favorite: French toast with lots of grilled cheese and some bacon on the side.

“Hey, are you just going to stand there and watch?” asked Carol.

“Oh no. I’m sorry. What do you need?” replied Therese, feeling caught.

“Bring me a plate to serve these,” she said, pointing at the toast with her spatula.

Therese approached her with a plate and held it while Carol served the food. Just when Therese was about to turn away, Carol placed a hand on her hip to stop her. Therese looked back at her, surprised. Carol placed a soft kiss on her lips. Therese almost dropped the plate. As soon as the kiss was over she felt her cheeks warm. She still felt a bit shy about demonstrating affection in front of Rindy.

“Do it again!” yelled Rindy from the table. She was beaming with joy.

Therese looked at Carol waiting for her to make the first move. Carol turned to Rindy and saluted her in response before she turned back to Therese and, with one hand placed behind her neck, pulled Therese closer to kiss her again. This time it was deeper. They could hear Rindy’s excited noises coming from the table. They parted with a smile on both of their faces.

“Now go, before it gets cold!” ordered Carol before she gave a light pat on Therese’s butt to get her moving.

Therese turned to look at her, faking a surprised face. When she got to the table, she placed the plate next to Rindy. She helped her pick the colors and put them to the side. She took the drawing she had started in her hands. It was unfinished. She recognized Rindy in the middle of the other two taller figures; one was definitely Carol with her yellow hair, and the other brunette. She felt so much love in that moment her heart almost exploded. To see herself represented in the most loving and purest way was so overwhelming. Could this be the family she had longed for for so long? She had wanted so badly to have a place to call home, a family to come to every night. To feel loved and to love back with all her being. Her thoughts were interrupted by the door bell.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” she said to Carol who was still cooking.

Therese walked to the door with a smile on her face. She opened the door automatically like still on a dream only to be woken up abruptly by the person standing in front of her. It was Harge. She stood still.

“What are you doing here? Where’s my wi-... Carol?” he interjected as he made his way past Therese and towards the kitchen.

It took Therese’s brain a couple of seconds to catch up with what was going on. She closed the door and headed back to the kitchen.

“Harge, what are you doing here?” asked Carol with a shocked expression.

“I came for my daughter.”

“But I thought you weren’t coming back until next week.” Carol was stuttering.

“I came back earlier. I called but your phone was turned off. Abby told me you were still here, and to my surprise, not alone. Why is she here, Carol? What’s going on?” asked Harge giving Therese a side look.

“She came to help me with Rindy’s birthday party and …”

“Don’t lie to me, Carol!” Harge interrupted her. “I know you’ve been seeing each other for months now. I’ve seen the security footage from your building and even the text messages you’ve exchanged.” Carol covered her mouth in surprise. “Rindy’s birthday? Too easy. I guess I just needed to confirm it with my own eyes. You know what you’ve done, Carol. You inflicted the school’s policy against maintaining a relationship with a student. You’ve caused this. You were always so selfish, Carol. Always thinking about yourself and not caring for anybody else.”

“That’s not true!” exclaimed Therese.

“You really think so? She’s the reason you’ll have to go back to wherever you came from,” he added with disdain. Therese stayed silent with tears starting to form in her eyes. She wished she could say something back to him but her emotions didn’t let her. She felt useless.

“No! Don’t go, Therese!” cried Rindy as she run to Therese and hugged her.

“Go get ready, Rindy!” he yelled at her.

“Don’t talk to her like that!” blurted Carol as she stepped forward. “Therese will help you change and pack. Mommy will keep your presents, OK?” she said to Rindy. Rindy nodded while she held Therese’s hand.

“Stay away from my daugh-...”

“Leave them alone, Harge!” Carol had a determined look on her face.

Therese had never seen her like that. She was ready to protect them. Therese looked straight into Harge’s eyes defiantly as she walked away with Rindy. Once in her room, Therese felt the tears finally running down her face. She was shaking. She could still hear his words in her head. _She’s the reason you’ll have to go back to wherever you came from._ She was scared. Her legs finally gave in and she hit the floor her knees. Rindy hugged her as tight as she could. In that moment, Therese realised she had to be the stronger one. She took Rindy’s face in her hands and kissed her on the forehead.

“Everything’s going to be fine. Now let’s get you ready.”

“But I don’t want you to go! I don’t want to go with Daddy!” Now it was Rindy with tears falling down her face. Therese gently wiped them with her thumbs.

“I don’t want to go either. I love you and your mommy so much but if I have to go at least I’ll be happy for the time we spent together. And you have to go with your daddy. I know that you don’t want to but if you don’t, Mommy will be in more trouble, OK?”

Rindy nodded with her head. Therese couldn’t believe how smart and sensible she was but then again it was all Carol. She helped Rindy get changed. Then she packed her clothes in her bag. She grabbed the frame with the picture of her and Carol. She traced their smiles with her thumb. A day she would never forget. She put it inside the bag with the rest of Rindy’s clothes. Once ready, they went downstairs still holding hands tightly. She could hear Carol and Harge still discussing in the kitchen but as soon as they appeared they stopped. Carol looked agitated. Therese kept her distance as she extended her arm to hand Harge Rindy’s bag.

“Let’s go,” he ordered to Rindy. She gave Therese’s hand a squeeze before she let go of it. She ran to Carol to give her a hug.

“Be good, sunshine. And I love you so much,” said Carol as she kissed her.

Rindy joined Harge’s side. He took her hand.

“This isn’t over. I’ll see you on Monday with the school board.” Harge turned away and left.

Therese could see Carol’s strong façade starting to crumble. She took her in her arms tightly as Carol started to cry. She could feel the pain she was in. The way Harge had come in and taken Rindy, shattering the beautiful dream they had been living in the past few days. He took her sunshine away. Therese wasn’t worried about her situation. In some place in her mind she knew this could happen. She knew what she was doing. She had risked it all for Carol and she would do it again. Carol slowly started to compose herself again. She looked her straight into her eyes holding her tight by her shoulders.

“Do you trust me?” asked Carol.

Therese was a little shaken by the question and the intensity with which it was asked.

“Yes, Carol. I trust you.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I promised you that and I will keep my word. You’ll finish your course with or without me.”

“But Carol, I-...”

“You will or I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you.”

“Carol, you didn't do anything. I wanted this, us, to happen as well. I’d do it all again just to be with you. I love you, Carol,” said Therese as she held Carol’s face to kiss her.

They spent the rest of their days together with a taint of sorrow. Although she trusted Carol, she knew she was holding something from her. She could see it in her eyes, in the way she touched her. Therese tried to push all those thoughts aside and simply enjoy the present she had with Carol for as long as it would last. She tried to make her laugh a couple of times because the sound of her laugh was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever heard and she wanted it to stay in her ears. They took walks hand in hand on the beach at sunset. Therese took pictures of Carol against the pink and orange skies as she wanted these moments to stay forever on paper. She even set the camera to snap a picture of both of them in each other's arms as she always want to remember them. Therese played Carol’s favorite music and danced with her for she had never done it before and she wanted to know what it was like. A dream as she had expected it.

 

On their last night together, Therese made love to Carol as if it were the last time. She undressed her slowly and delicately like a flower. She wanted to remember her with each of her senses. First she scanned every inch of her with her green eyes, taking in every spot, every wrinkle, every scar on her glorious body. Next she let her nose travel to those places it rejoiced the most: her neck where she applied her perfume and her sex, where her perfume was only available to her and nobody else. Her touch came next. She traced the curves on her breathtaking face with her fingers, her cheekbones down to her neck. She continued with the shape of her breasts, her favorite part on Carol’s body. She travelled slowly down to the curve of her hip until she reached her butt cheeks, her second favorite bumps. She then made it to her final destination by sliding her fingers through Carol’s wet folds. She let her fingers explore every inch, memorizing the feel underneath her fingers. Following her touch came her taste. She drank from Carol’s sweet juices, her taste invading Therese’s taste buds; a flavor like no other. With touch and taste combined came hearing. The sound of Carol’s moans and heavy breathing were the most amazing sounds she would ever hear. Her name escaping Carol’s mouth after reaching her orgasm was the best music to ever delight her ears. Therese curled herself next to Carol, her head resting on Carol’s chest. Carol wrapped her arms around her, holding her tight. She entered the realm of dreams with the calming sound of Carol’s breathing. No matter how uncertain and scary the future seemed to be, all Therese could do was to hold on to her love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I'm back from my short hiatus. I've decided that I'm going to post once a week now. I need to balance work, university and this in a better way. I was really pushing myself to upload twice a week. It felt weird not to post this Sunday but it was needed! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this one. Can you guess what's going to happen next?? 
> 
> I've missed you all ❤️


	18. The Things We do for Love

Monday arrived and with that the beginning of class after spring break but it wasn’t like any other return to school. This was if not Therese’s most feared day. Her fate would be decided on this day. Would she be able to stay in school and finish her studies or would she be kicked out and in consequence have to leave the country?

On their drive back to the city, Carol hadn’t said much about her plan if she had any. Therese noticed how tense and distant she was on the ride back so she opted for silence between them. Although she trusted Carol with her life, she couldn’t help but fear something bad was about to happen. Something involving not being able to see Carol again. She could feel it in her gut. She had promised her she would finish her photography course no matter what happened. She knew how important it was for Carol so she couldn't find it in her to break that promise, even if it meant breaking her own heart in the process.

They said their goodbyes in the car. Carol leaned over to hug Therese as tightly as she could and before she broke it she whispered I love you in Therese’s ear. A single tear fell down Carol’s face which she quickly brushed away with her hand. Her expression hardened. She looked emotionless, empty. Therese couldn't stand looking back at this woman who wasn’t her Carol anymore. She got out of the car and ran up the stairs as fast as her legs let her. As soon as she got back inside her apartment, she called Dannie to come right in. The moment he arrived, they sat down and Therese told him everything that had happened when Harge surprised them at the house. She told him what Carol had said about not letting her lose her course. Dannie also agreed with Carol that Therese should focus on finishing her studies, considering all she had been through to make it there in the first place. Dannie stayed that night with Therese. He laid next to her in bed to hold her while she cried herself to sleep. He kept repeating _everything will be all right_ as a mantra as he rubbed her back.

 

Therese woke up on that Monday morning with a pain in her stomach and an emptiness in her heart. She already missed waking up to the sight, to the smell and the sound of Carol next to her. Even though Dannie was lying asleep next to her, she still felt a coldness around her. Only Carol’s warmth could keep her warm inside and out. She closed her eyes and tried to remember every detail on Carol’s face: those piercing blue eyes that contained an ocean of love for her; her red lips full of kisses and _I love yous_ ; her blonde curls that bounced like rays of light. Therese’s sobbing woke up Dannie.

“Hey Terry, what’s wrong?” he asked as he took Therese by the hand.

“I miss her.”

“I know you do but you have to be strong, Therese. She wouldn’t like to see you like this and neither do I. Now go and take a shower. I’ll set clothes out for you and prepare breakfast. Can you do that for me?”

Therese nodded. She slowly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. She got under the cold water, hoping it would freeze all her memories, her emotions, her pain. It didn’t take long for her body to start shaking. She let her mind concentrate for a few seconds on this new feeling that wasn’t connected to Carol. When her body couldn’t stand it anymore, she turned around to turn on the hot water. She finished showering in automatic mode. She barely dried herself afterwards, not minding about brushing her hair. She put on the clothes that Dannie had left on the bed for her, not paying attention to what he had picked. She walked to the kitchen to join Dannie who was waiting for her at the counter with breakfast ready. She sat in front of him with lost eyes.

“Eat, Therese. I’ll go get a brush and a towel for your hair,” said Dannie as he got up and walked away.

Therese did as he told her. She grabbed a toast and started to take small bites. She could still feel that pain in her stomach. Dannie came back and slowly started to untangle her hair. She managed to finish a whole toast and bring some coffee down her stomach. Once she was ready to go, Dannie offered to go to school with her but she declined it.

“Call me if you need anything. I’ll be thinking about you. You’ve got this, Terry. I know you’re strong.” Dannie gave her a warm hug before she left.

The second she passed through the school door, she immediately started to scan the room, looking for Carol. She could feel her heart beating fast in her chest. She wanted to run to her office and find her there, behind her desk smiling at her like she had done that first time. Instead, she walked up the stairs and headed to the classroom. Richard was waiting for her at his usual desk with a smile as always. She forced a smile back as she sat next to him.

“Hi, Therese.”

“Hey …”

“Is everything OK? You don’t look good.”

“It’s my stomach. I must have caught something,” lied Therese.

Although Richard had found that picture of Carol and guessed there was something going on between them, she didn’t feel ready to open up about it. Not today. A few minutes later, Abby entered the room together with a young dark haired woman Therese had never seen before. The class went quiet.

“Good morning, class. Welcome back. I have some important news to share with you. This is Claire. She will be your new teacher for what’s left of the course.” Therese could feel the pain in her stomach starting to grow as Abby continued to talk.

“I won’t be able to continue with this class since I’ve become the new Museum Director as of this morning. Mrs. Aird has resigned her position for personal reasons. I will take over her former tasks, including your final portfolio presentation. If you have any questions, you know where to find me,” concluded Abby as she looked straight at Therese.

Therese felt shivers going down her body. She found herself gasping for air.

“Therese, you’re white as a sheet. What’s …” but before he could finish his sentence, Therese got up and ran to the door, covering her mouth with a hand.

 

She ran to the bathroom and locked herself inside an empty stall. She threw up what little she had eaten earlier at breakfast. After she felt nothing more was coming out, she sat down with her back against the bathroom wall and her head slightly tilted up. She repeated Abby’s words in her head: _Mrs. Aird has resigned her position for personal reasons…_ Carol had quit her job in order to allow Therese to finish the course. Therese couldn’t help feeling responsible for that decision, even though she hadn't taken part in it. She felt guilty for the troubles this might bring to Carol...and to Rindy. _Rindy!_ She couldn’t help worrying about the possibility that Carol quitting her job might carry other consequences related to her daughter. Therese’s head was spinning out of control. She heard the bathroom door open and steps approaching where she was.

“Therese, are you OK?” asked Abby.

Therese didn’t reply. She didn’t have the energy to talk to anybody, nonetheless to the new Museum Director.

“Therese, I’m not going to go until you open that door and we have a talk. Carol wouldn’t like …”

“You have no idea what Carol wants!” yelled Therese as she opened the stall door violently. She stood there staring at Abby with wild eyes. She was so angry at her and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because she wished it was Carol standing there and not Abby.

“Therese, I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to talk, to explain.”

“A-...and why isn’t she here to explain f-... for herself?” Therese asked as she tried to keep her voice steady. She had new tears running down her face.

“She can’t. That’s why I’m trying to tell you. We need to talk. Please, come with me to my… please Therese.”

Abby looked truly worried about Therese. She grabbed some hand paper from the dispenser and lightly wet it under the sink before she approached Therese and gently cleaned Therese’s face. The contact with the cold water made Therese feel a little better. They headed downstairs to Carol’s ex office. It felt so strange to step in and find the room stripped of all of Carol’s things. Only the bookshelf with its books in it remained the same. It felt even worse to see Abby sit behind the desk where Carol used to sit. Therese felt her head starting to spin again.

“Therese, please sit down,” said Abby as she too could she Therese was about to pass out at any moment. Therese did as she was told but she kept her eyes focused on the desk border. She heard Abby sigh before she started to talk again.

“As you may already know, Carol had a meeting with the school board early this morning after Harge told them about your relationship. Carol called me the previous night to tell me what had happened at the house. I’m still so terribly sorry for having told Harge where you two were but the truth is that legally he has the right to know where Rindy is so I couldn’t deny it to him. I tried to call you both but neither of you picked up.” In that moment Therese remembered that she too had switched off the phone so it had been truly impossible for Abby to warn them about Harge coming. She had tried.

“I wish I could have done something more to prevent all this from happening. Anyway, Carol had asked me to meet her here for the meeting. I thought she was asking for my support for after the meeting but I was surprised when she told me to walk inside the room with her. I could see Harge’s surprise face as well as the others. I sat down with everybody else and waited for Carol to start explaining. To make it short: over the past few years Carol had collected some evidence on a very important sum of money that was destined for the school but never made it there. I believe she had been waiting for the right time to come and use this information. As you may have guessed already, most of the board members, including Harge, got hold of that money for themselves. With this evidence against them, Carol was able to negotiate: instead of having you expelled and herself fired with the whole school knowing about the matter tainting her career, she demanded they allow you to continue at school. She would quit _for personal reasons_ without any details of your relationship seeing the light. In this way you could finish your course as if nothing had happened; without the burden of being the center of gossip or attention. Carol also demanded that I be her replacement. That was a surprise for me. I’m sure she would have left _you_ in charge if she could,” joked Abby. Therese didn’t react to it, still not looking at Abby.

“She also promised not to keep in contact with you for the remaining time you have here. That’s why she asked me to give you this.”

Abby slid a white envelope across the desk with Therese’s name written in Carol’s handwriting. Therese’s eyes grew bigger at the sight of it. She took the letter with one hand and stood up to head to the window. With her back to Abby, she opened the letter and took the paper to her nose. She could smell a trace of Carol’s perfume. With trembling hands she started to read.

_Dearest,_   
_There are no accidents. He would’ve found us one way or another. Harge was right about one thing, though. I did put you in danger. You could have been expelled from school and with that, putting an end to your education. And maybe he is right and I was selfish indeed because I chose to love you despite all consequences. The things we do for love. I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me for making this decision for both of us. I did it because I truly think this is what is best for you. I don’t want you to worry about me, darling. I’m going to be just fine. Maybe this is what needed to happen to finally break free. Everything comes full circle. I can’t wait to start a new chapter and have you fill in every page on it. But until then, there must be no contact between us. I have much to do, and you, my darling, even more. I know that the next two months won’t be easy but I want to see you graduate…and I want you to imagine me there to greet you. You have so much talent my love and you deserve a world of opportunities. Please believe that I would do anything to see you happy. So, I do the only thing I can…I release you._

_Carol_

With tears running down her face she turned around and walked towards the desk. She put the letter inside her bag.

“Therese, say something.”

“Abby, I can’t do this right now. I need to go.”

“Fine, but I want to see you here tomorrow. I want to help you continue. You’re not alone in this.”

Therese just looked at her one last time before she left the office. In that moment she felt more alone than ever. _I release you_. Those words hurt like a dagger right through her heart. She felt like the only thing that had kept her breathing until now was suddenly taken from her. Carol was gone.

Therese finally made it outside the building. She was so focused on trying to catch her breath back that she didn’t notice Genevieve approaching her from behind.

“Therese…” she said as she placed one hand on Therese’s shoulder.

“Oh my… you scared me! Genevieve, I can’t ta-...”

“I just wanted to apologize for what happened last time we saw each other. I clearly never had a chance. I see it now. I just want to be friends.” That confession took Therese by surprise. Genevieve did seem to be sorry and honest.

“Thank you. It’s fine, I forgive you. I’m sorry but I really need to go home. I don’t feel well.”

“Yes, I can see that. Please let me take you home. I have a car. It’s parked around the corner.”

“You don’t have to do this. I can just call a taxi.”

“Nonsense, please let me help you.”

“Are you sure? What about class?”

“It can wait. Now, let’s go.”

Genevieve took Therese by the arm as they both started to walk towards the car. The ride back to Therese’s home was in silence. Genevieve understood she needed to give her space. Therese texted Dannie to tell him that she was heading back home. Therese was glad the ride had been rather quick and that she had managed not to break down in the car.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” asked Genevieve when they parked outside Therese’s apartment.

“It’s OK, really. I have a friend waiting for me. You’ve done enough, Genevieve. Thank you for the ride back.”

“I’m glad I was able to help. And please call me Gen,” she said with a smile. Therese smile back before she got out of the car.

When she opened her apartment door, she was relieved to see Dannie already waiting there for her. She dropped her bag on the floor and closed the door before she ran to him and let herself fall in his arms.

“She’s gone, Dannie. Carol is gone.” Therese announced as she started to cry again. Her body was so tired and weak that she couldn’t keep herself standing any longer. Dannie had to hold her tight to keep her from falling.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed first.”

He helped her change into her pajamas. Once Therese got inside her bed, he went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He offered her a pill for her headache which Therese accepted and swallowed. Dannie sat next to her and watched as Therese’s eyes slowly started to close.

Therese woke up a few hours later. The sun was still out as she could see from her bedroom window. She had to do a reality check to make sure that it all hadn’t been a bad dream. The events from earlier that day started to come back to her. The ache in her heart confirmed that it all had been true.

“Dannie!” she called out.

Dannie came running to her from the living room where he had been waiting for Therese to wake up again.

“What’s wrong, Terry?”

“I need my bag. I left it at the entrance.”

After a few seconds Dannie returned with Therese’s bag and handed it to her. Therese opened it and took Carol’s letter out. That was another proof that her worst fears had become true.

“She’s gone,” repeated Therese as she handed the letter to Dannie for him to read it. He took it and sat next to her. Therese looked at him while he read it.

“I’m so sorry, Terry,” said Dannie once he had finished it. She took one of Therese’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “You have to understand that she’s doing this because she loves you...very much. Do you see that?”

“Y-...yes,” replied Therese trying to hold back new tears from falling.

“And you love her. Trust her, Terry. This won’t last forever. You have to finish your studies. You’re almost there! Do it for you and do it for her as well. She believes in you. And I’m here to pick you up no matter how many times to help you reach that goal.”

Therese leaned forward to give Dannie a warm hug. In that moment she knew that even though the next couple of weeks were going to be extremely hard on her, she knew she had people around her to support her. If it was for her, she would just give up everything but she owed it to Carol and to Dannie to keep going. Hopefully, keeping her mind busy would distract her from her broken heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Hope this new chapter finds you all well. Thank you once again for all the love you show for each chapter! It still makes me feel so overwhelmed. We are past the middle of this story and coming closer to its end. There are still a few more to come! I still can't believe this.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you in the comments :)
> 
> PS: if you're on Twitter, go follow me @vasande


	19. See You Again

That first week of school without Carol was extremely hard for Therese. Every day she kept hoping that she would bump into her in the hall or cafeteria. She also wished that she would get one of her texts asking her to see her in her office. Therese’s heart would always start beating fast with those messages. But none of that happened or would happen anymore. Carol was gone. She didn’t know where, nor did she want to know. She feared that if she knew where Carol was, she would run to her to see her face, to kiss her, to hug her. But Carol didn’t want that, she had said it in her letter. They had to stay without contact until Therese finished her course. Graduation wasn’t that far away but when you’re kept away from the love of your life, time can pass so slowly.

 

The following three weeks continued to be a struggle. Therese tried to focus on school as much as possible to keep her mind from going back to Carol. She even took on extra workshops to keep herself busy. Dannie had to make sure she was eating, otherwise Therese would forget completely. She could go through a day with just water and some fruit. Dannie would drop by her apartment with enough food for days or even do the groceries for her. As a consequence of this, Therese started to lose weight. She already had a rather slim body to begin with so the drop of weight really took a toll on her. She looked sick. Even Richard and Genevieve started to worry about her. The three of them had become closer in these past weeks. After Genevieve had apologised to Therese for what had happened between them and showed interest in becoming friends, Therese included her in her circle. 

 

Therese had also incorporated cigarettes to her rather nonexistent diet. She had never smoked before in her life. She had always believed that it was a disgusting habit. Her father would occasionally have a cigarette in his study and Therese would always leave his side because of the smoke. She didn’t like the smell of it. One day at school she was feeling very anxious and nervous about their final projects to the point that Genevieve had to take her out to the fresh air during their break. Genevieve lit a cigarette for herself.

“Does it help?” asked Therese.

“Help what? What do you mean?”

“That. Smoking. Is it calming?”

“Yes. I guess so. Why?”

“Can I try one?”

“Therese...maybe this is not the right time to…”

“Can you please give me one,” interrupted Therese by raising her tone a little.

Genevieve was hesitant to hand her one but Therese wouldn't stop asking if she didn’t. She passed Therese hers. Therese took it with three fingers, obviously not used to handling one. She took the filtered part to her mouth and took a drag of the cigarette. Nothing happened.

“You have to take some small puffs. And don’t swallow the smoke, just hold it for a bit before your exhale. Release it as you would with your breath,” instructed Genevieve.

Therese tried to do exactly as she told her. She took a sharp intake, maybe too hard because it made her cough the minute the hot air made contact with the inside of her mouth. She felt she was out of air. She coughed a little more before she recovered her regular breathing.

“Give me that before you burn yourself,” said Genevieve as she tried to recover her cigarette.

“No! I want to keep trying.”

“Therese! You’re not having another one. Now let’s get back inside and get you something to drink.”

* * *

Later that evening, Therese bought a pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter to keep trying on her own. She opened the living room window and stood by the window sill. She had a hard time trying to light the cigarette since Genevieve's had already been lit and she had no idea how to do it. It took her a few tries until the cigarette stayed lit. Next she started puffing as she had done earlier, causing a new wave of coughs caused by the bitterness of the tobacco. It was a new taste and not a very pleasant one but she was determined to succeed. She tried a couple more hits until she was able to keep the smoke inside. She started to feel that rush of adrenaline hitting her brain, making her relax. She let herself sink in this feeling that she hadn’t had in a while. At one point Therese forgot to ash the cigarette and let a chunk of ash fall on her lap. She quickly realized there were no ashtrays in the apartment so she hurried to the kitchen to grab a glass. She almost tripped and fell in the process because of the lightheaded effect the cigarette was having on her. She finished the cigarette before going to bed, feeling a little less anxious. That night, for the first time in weeks, she didn’t stare at her phone screen with Carol’s contact page wondering if she should give her a call just to hear her say “Hello” or just her breathing.

* * *

 

Therese quickly made a habit of getting back home and lighting a cigarette. She surprised Dannie the first time that she did it in front of him.

“Therese! What are you doing with that?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” answered Therese in a cocky manner.

“Hey! Watch your tone. Since when do you smoke?”

“I started a couple of days ago. Why?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Terry. You are barely eating and now this? What are you trying to achieve?”

“I don’t get what you mean...”

“Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean. You’re trying to fill a void, Therese. But this is not the way.”

“Dannie, please. Let me be. Let me get through this the only way I can. I miss her so much, Dannie. I think about her all the time. Everything reminds me of her but when I lit this thing in my hand, I feel my brain finally gives me a break.”

“Ok...but promise me you’ll control yourself. And that you will eat! I’m so worried, Terry. You look sick. You’ll need your energy for what little is left of your course.”

 

Since she had started smoking, Therese felt even less hungry. Now everytime her brain would take her back to Carol, she would light one, more so with the end of the course approaching fast. Not only was she starting to get anxious about her possible reunion with Carol, but also because of what it entitled. She still didn’t know what she was going to do in order to stay legally in the country. She knew she had a grace period of 60 days before she would be forced to leave. These thoughts kept her awake at night. Would Carol still be willing to help her? 

 

After Dannie left that evening, Therese took a look at her naked body in front of a mirror. She could hardly recognize the girl looking back at her. She had changed so much in the past weeks, not only physically but also mentally. Her body was a clear representation of all the pain and sadness she had been keeping inside all this time. Her skin looked even paler that it used to be and it had a sort of greyish tone. Her ribs and hip bones stood out more prominently.   _ Will she still like me like this? Will she even love me back?  _ Therese couldn't see herself going back to the person she was before Carol had left her. There was no going back to that. All the hurting had made her colder towards people, even Dannie. She felt bad for it because he still worried about her and looked after her. But she thought it would be easier for when she would have to say goodbye. 

* * *

On the second to last Friday to finishing class, Therese, Richard and Genevieve got together after school to celebrate that they had finally completed their portfolios which meant that they wouldn’t have regular classes anymore. Their portfolios would be reviewed after the End-Of-Year Exhibition and Graduation ceremony the following Friday. The teachers would appoint them a specific day to review the portfolios together. For the exhibition, each student together with their teacher had to pick their most representative photograph of their work, the one that captured the photographer's essence. Therese chose a picture of a [small boy crying](http://www.portrait-photos.org/_photo/5328070.jpg). She had taken it during one of her visits to Chinatown. She had seen this lonely boy sitting at the entrance of his parent’s shop. He was crying. Therese tried to comfort him but she soon realized that he didn’t understand the language. Instead, she took a picture of him that captured exactly what she was feeling inside. She saw herself reflected in that boy’s sad face.

 

Genevieve drove the three of them went to the [Dead Rabbit bar](https://www.deadrabbitnyc.com/about), one of the best bars in the city. They wanted to celebrate the end of classes. They all had been under so much stress and pressure with difficult exercises and theoretical finals, all while having to choose their best pictures to include in their final portfolio which would represent them for future jobs. The bar had a nice modern Irish pub feel to it. It felt joyful and warm. They ordered their first round of drinks out of the varied menu of cocktails. Therese ordered one named [Bare Bones](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/5804f105893fc02b80dbd9c4/1552416007199-OFLZ765VQCTHFH0WQ183/DR-Red-BareBones-5.jpg?format=300w&content-type=image%2Fjpeg), a fruity drink mixed with Pisco. It was strong at the first sip. Therese wasn’t that used to drinking strong alcohol but the mango, passionfruit, and grapefruit mix made it taste quite delicious. Before she knew it, Therese was ordering a second one.

“Hey hey, Therese. Slow down or you’ll end up on the floor,” said Richard when she saw Therese with a second glass.

“Don’t be a spoiler!” answered Therese in a tipsy way. The alcohol was clearly starting to have its effect on her.

They ordered some fried chicken but Therese ate just a few pieces. On the other hand, she ordered another drink. Her drunk state was becoming more obvious: she started to laugh uncontrollably, she was tipsy with things around her and she couldn’t sit still on her stool.

“Therese, you really need to stop drinking. You’re clearly drunk,” said Genevieve as she tried to keep her from calling the waiter.

“I’m fine. I’m greeeaatt,” said Therese between giggles.

“No you’re not. I’m going to get you home. Richard,  please look after her while I go to the bathroom real quick.”

Therese grabbed her phone. Richard was sitting across from her so he couldn’t see was she was doing. Therese opened the conversation window she had with Carol. She hadn’t seen it in what felt like ages. She had tried many times to delete all messages and even Carol’s number but she could never bring herself to do it. Now, with the alcohol running through her veins, she found the courage to type the three words she had meant to send all this time:  _ I miss you.  _ She saw the message turn into a blue bubble with the word “delivered” underneath. She stared at the screen, waiting for a sign from Carol but nothing happened. Genevieve returned to the table and Therese put the phone away.

 

With Richard’s help, Therese got inside Genevieve’s car. She felt the entire world spinning around her while they drove back to her place. Genevieve helped her upstairs to Therese’s bedroom. Therese laid dead the second her head hit the pillow. Genevieve only managed to take off her shoes. As she was about to cover her with the sheets, Therese grabbed her wrist.

“Carol, please stay. Don’t leave me again,” said Therese as she started to sob.

Looking at her state, Genevieve decided to sleep next to her to watch over her during the night. The next morning Therese woke up with a terrible headache and terribly guilty for having made Genevieve look after her.

* * *

It was now a week later. End-Of-Year Exhibition and graduation had finally arrived. Therese woke up that morning feeling all kinds of emotions and thoughts crossing her mind but one in particular:  _ Will Carol be there tonight?  _ Carol hadn’t responded to her drunk text as expected so she kept from sending another. She didn’t want to cloud her mind with these thoughts, not that early in the morning. Dannie and Tom had planned to take her out for lunch to celebrate. She had invited them to be with her during the graduation ceremony at school. After that, Therese, Richard,  and Genevieve would attend a party at a very cool NYC club with the rest of the class. Therese had asked Dannie and Tom to take her to the same restaurant they had taken her for her birthday. She had loved it so much that she wanted to repeat the experience. After lunch, they all went to a spa to get a massage, as well as hair and nails done. Therese had never had a professional massage before. It felt so relaxing that she was able to keep her anxiety at bay during that hour. When they returned home, Dannie helped her get ready. He had gotten her a beautiful [pink lace dress](http://nafdress.com/assests/images/pink-lace-dress-dressed-up-girl-1881221.jpg) for the evening. She was thankful he hadn’t picked a darker color or it would have made her look even thinner, if that was even possible. Dannie always knew better. The dress looked fabulous on her. She did her makeup which she hadn’t done in a while. When she looked at herself in the mirror she saw for the first time in weeks a glimpse of the old Therese again. She looked human. After they were all ready to go, Dannie called a very fancy Uber to pick them up. Therese felt like a star heading to some big award ceremony. Dannie really wanted to make her feel special on her night.

 

When the three of them arrived at school, she quickly saw Richard and Genevieve talking near the stage they had built for the ceremony. She made quick introductions before she walked Dannie and Tom around the school since they hadn’t been able to visit it during the previous exhibition. Just when they were heading back to the museum area, Therese saw Harge entering the building. Her heart stopped beating for a second. Her mind took her back to that day at the beach house. She was now more sure than ever that Carol wasn’t going to be there that night. How could she put herself through that again? Dannie noticed her reaction and took her by the arm to give her stability. Tom took the other one. Therese soon felt protected around them. They slowly started to walk again. She showed them the photograph of the crying boy that she had taken. In comparison to the other pictures on display, Therese’s really stood out. Most of the others were taken from afar and framed by architectural elements or objects. Therese’s picture was the only one with a close up displaying such deep emotion, making it hard not to feel drawn by it. 

“Therese, this is amazing!” exclaimed Tom.

“OMG Terry, you are so talented. I have no words,” added Dannie, totally captivated by the photograph.

“Thank you.” Therese was so happy to see their reaction towards her work. She caught herself smiling for the first time in a while.

Short after that, Abby together with the teachers’ staff gave a welcoming speech to the attending audience. She explained what the students’ process throughout the year had been while summing up the highlights of the course. Then they proceeded with the delivery of certificates in Creative Practises. They started to call them by alphabetical order so Therese was the third one to come forward. Dannie and Tom immediately started to cheer as proud parents. She stepped onto the platform they had placed to serve as a stage. _I’ve made it. I’ve made it,_ she repeated to herself as she got closer to the teacher holding her certificate. Once in hand and after shaking some hands, she turned around again to find Dannie taking pictures with his phone looking so proud of her. She smiled widely. And then she saw her. _Carol,_ she whispered. She was standing almost at the very back of the crowd. She was smiling back at her with tears running down her face. Her heart started to beat fast, like every time she saw her.

“Belivet…” said Abby bringing Therese back to reality. She gestured for her to step down from the platform so the student waiting for her turn could step up. Therese almost tripped on her way back to Dannie and Tom.

“She’s here, Dannie. She’s here!”

“Are you sure you saw her?” asked Dannie.

“Yes, I’m sure. I could never mistake her.” She was so sure of this because her heart would never beat that hard for anybody else.

 

Therese could barely make it through the rest of the ceremony. Her mind was working at the speed of light with all the things she had wanted to tell Carol for the past two months … and the pain. The countless nights she had cried herself to sleep missing her deeply. And how the distance between them had turned her into a harder version of herself.

After the last student was called, the crowd started to regather, shifting from the main stage. Beverages started to flow. Therese stood with Dannie and Tom near her photograph with a glass of champagne in her hand. Dannie grabbed her free hand for support. It only took a few minutes for Carol to reach them. When Therese saw her approaching, she squeezed Dannie’s hand hard.

“Therese,” said Carol in her signature husky tone while she looked at Therese from head to toes with enamored eyes. Therese felt a heat growing inside her.

“I’m happy to see you again,” continued Carol as she turned to Dannie and Tom to greet them.

Therese couldn’t keep her eyes off her. She was wearing an [elegant white pantsuit](https://media.harpersbazaar.com.sg/2019/03/Cate-Blanchett-at-the-Si-Passione-By-Giorgio-Armani-launch-in-Sydney.jpg) with a low cleavage that made Therese feel more heated. She had cut her [hair shorter](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/20/13/28/201328b813baf7b4fa2f3f5b7c04ef6a.jpg) around her ears, framing her breathtaking face even more so. She looked more beautiful than she had remembered. Her memories had done a poor job at recreating her beauty.

“Carol … I mean, Mrs. Aird.” Therese thought she’d better keep to the formalities since they were surrounded by people.

“It’s Ross now actually,” responded Carol with a side smile.

“Oh…” Therese was surprised with this new information.  _ She changed her last name. _ Therese pondered on this. Carol Ross. What else had changed in the past months she wondered. Dannie and Tom took advantage of that silence to make their exit.

“Terry, we’re heading back. Congratulations again, we’re so proud of you. Call if you need anything.” Dannie gave her a big hug and a kiss. “Goodbye Mrs. Ross.” He took Therese's certificate with him before they left.

Now it was just Carol and her.

“Congratulations, my darling. I’m beyond happy and proud to see how far you’ve come.” Carol looked straight into her eyes with those blue ocean circles that moved everything inside her. Therese took a long sip of the champagne to break the eye contact. They fell silent for some seconds.

“It’s so astonishing,” said Carol, looking at Therese’s photograph.

“How did you know…?”

“Because it’s the best photograph in the room. And it’s so unmistakably yours. The way you captured his emotions… I’m so sorry, Therese.” Carol’s voice trembled as she looked down.

Therese knew exactly what she meant.  _ I’m so sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused you.  _ Her body was aching for contact, for an embrace but her mind kept reminding her of that same pain. She was in a battle with herself. She opened her mouth but she found no words to say. Right in that moment Richard appeared to break the tension.

“Therese, Gen is waiting outside to take us to the party… Oh I’m so sorry Mrs. Aird, I didn’t see you.”

“It’s fine. I’ll let you two go.”

“Are you sure?” said Therese, making eye contact with Carol one more time.

“Of course.  It’s already late for this old lady,” joked Carol. “Go have fun. You deserve it after all your hard work. Congratulations again.” She smiled both at Richard and Therese. She placed one hand on Therese’s shoulder. Therese closed her eyes at the longed for contact. Carol then turned around and left, leaving her entrancing perfume behind.

“Therese, c’mon let’s go!”

 

Therese mood changed drastically. She spent the car ride in silence while her mind relived her recent encounter with Carol. She wished she could have told her how much she had missed her. How her love for her was still intact after the storm. She wanted to ask her if she still loved her. How Rindy was. Where had she been all this time… so many things. She had been so lost in her head that she didn’t realise when they arrived at the [1 Oak](http://www.1oaknyc.com/) club. They had an exclusive area reserved for the class. The place was a mix between art and fashion. And it looked extremely fancy. Music was playing as drinks and food were passing. Therese sat on one of the soft leather couches next to Genevieve. They ordered some drinks.

“Are you OK, Therese?” asked Genevieve.

“Yes. Sorry, it’s been a night. I’m trying to process everything.”

“I know. We made it so now we have to celebrate. Cheers!” They toasted with their drinks.

People were starting to hit the dance floor.

“C’mon girls, let’s dance!” said Richard, grabbing both Therese and Genevieve by the hand and pulling them up.

 

Therese walked with them with her cocktail glass in hand. She wasn’t much of a dancer so she only managed to move her hips from one side to the other. She remembered the last time she had danced. It had been with Carol. She took her in her arms and guided her in her moves. She remembered how she had melted right into her arms. She noticed that her heart had started to race again. It was like it was trying to tell her something. She put her hand over it as if she could slow it down that way. 

“Therese, what’s wrong?” asked Richard.

“I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK. Go to her,” said Richard with a reassuring smile.

 

And with that Therese quickly picked up her things and went outside to stop a taxi, her heart dictating the way this time.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Hope you're all doing great. I had a diffcult week, feelings serving this chapter once again. Let me know what you think of this chapter. You're feedback is always important!
> 
> PS: Thank you so much Michelle for all the smoking data. I don't smoke myself so I had no idea!


	20. Home

The taxi ride had been excruciatingly long. Therese held her breath for most of the ride, with her heart beating fast and loud in her ears. When the car finally stopped, she quickly handed the money to the driver without waiting for the change. She jumped out of the car and ran towards the entrance door. The doorman recognized her from before so he didn’t hesitate to open the door for her. He looked at her with a strange look given Therese’s agitated state as she walked in. She just managed to say a friendly  _ Good evening  _ before she ran for the stairs. Although her muscles were screaming to slow down the pace, considering her poor health condition, her heart told her to keep going. She was afraid that if she stopped, even for a second, she would change her mind and go back home. When she finally reached Carol’s door, she stood still a moment to catch her breath. She could hear music coming from inside.  _ Jazz, _ Therese thought. It was Carol’s favorite music. It was in that moment when Therese started to panic.  _ She’s not alone. I should leave… _ but her heart once again gave her the confidence to knock on the door. She waited a few seconds that felt like ages and when she was about to turn around and leave, the door opened.

“What are you doing here?” asked Abby behind the half opened door. Therese was caught off guard. She wasn’t expecting Abby to answer.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to talk to Carol but if she’s not…”

“Abby, who is it?” Therese heard Carol asking from inside.

Therese and Abby stood in silence looking at each other for a few seconds before Abby stepped aside to let Therese in. She walked past Abby with her head down until she reached the living room where she knew Carol would be. She then raised her head to find her sitting in the armed chair with one arm holding her head while the other held a glass with a caramel colored liquid. She had changed into a white nightgown that covered half of her long toned legs. She had a flower patterned robe loose on top.

“Therese… how-...why?” Carol stuttered as she sat up straight, her relaxed posture from seconds ago turning into a rigid one. She was looking at Therese with wide open eyes as if she wasn’t real.

“I don't know ... I just felt I needed to see you … again,” said Therese nervously.

“I think I should go,” interrupted Abby as she walked to the couch and picked up her purse and coat.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I can go.”

“It’s fine, Therese. You two need to talk. It’s late for me anyway. Goodnight you two,” said Abby before she helped herself out.

 

Therese stood there staring at Carol, unable to move or speak. She hadn’t planned what she was going to say to Carol. It all had been so impulsive and rushed. Now she was there, looking at the love of her life; the one she had missed so painfully bad for two months. She had dreamed about this moment so many nights, always ending in tears. Now that the moment had finally arrived, Therese didn’t know how to react. 

“Therese, please sit down.” Carol got up and indicated for Therese to sit on the couch where Abby had been sitting minutes before. Carol turned around to turn off the music.

“Would you like me to get you something to drink?” asked Carol with a nervous tone as she rubbed her hands together.

“Water, please.”

 

Carol nodded and headed to the kitchen. She walked past Therese who hadn’t yet moved from her spot. Therese inhaled her perfume that hang in the air. It had such a magical power on her. Therese walked to the couch and sat down on one edge. She also started to rub her hands nervously. Carol returned shortly to the living room with a glass of water in her hand. She handed it to Therese, making their fingers slightly brush in the process. That light touch was enough to set Therese’s body on fire. She drank the water until she emptied the glass. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she had been all night. She held the empty glass with one hand, while she ran her index finger around the edge as a way to calm herself.

“Therese, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you celebrating with your friends?” Carol sat down on the couch, making sure to keep a distance between them.

“I-... I don’t know. I just had this strong feeling … I just couldn’t stay there anymore. I needed to see you. Talk to you,” explained Therese as she continued to play with the glass without looking at Carol.

 

Therese stayed in silence. She wanted to tell Carol about all the pain she had been through during these past months. All the tears she had cried for her, all the cigarettes she had burned for her. She wanted to let go of all those bad feeling and memories. A part of her was still angry at Carol for having made that decision for both of them. Therese wanted Carol to feel responsible in a way for her suffering. But she also wanted to fall in her arms and forget everything. Start anew. Would Carol still want that?

Carol leaned forward and placed a hand on top of Therese’s to get her attention. In consequence, Therese looked up at her. Those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. She would always get so easily lost in them, forgetting about the world around her..

“Talk to me, please,” begged Carol as she gently rubbed Therese’s hand with her thumb.

“I don’t know how to say this, Carol ...” Therese’s voice started to tremble.

Carol took the glass from Therese’s hands and placed it back on the table. She moved closer to her and held Therese’s face with both hands while she looked directly into her eyes.

“I know, Therese. I know how you feel. I know that I’ve caused you so much pain. I can see it in your eyes. You have no idea how terrible I’ve felt all this time knowing how confused and lonely you might be. I did what I thought was best for you. You didn’t deserve to lose your education because of me. Not when I could have avoided it… but how could I deny what my heart was feeling for you? I should have resigned back then when it all started but I didn’t. I was scared to let go of that part of my life; and that fear almost put you in danger. But I fought for you, darling. Even if it meant me having to leave. And I’d do it all again. Please don’t be angry when I tell you that you seek resolutions and explanations because you’re young, but you will understand this one day and I hope you’ll be able to forgive me then. But if you don’t and you don’t want to see me ever again, I'll understand it. I’ll just have to learn how to live with that heartbreak. I’ll never stop loving you.”

Therese’s eyes started to fill with tears the moment Carol said those last words. She tried to hold herself together but it became impossible. Tears started to stream down her face like angry rivers. Her breathing became more agitated. She felt as if her chest was going to break in two to finally let out the black cloud of pain and sorrow that had been living inside of her for the past two months. Carol pulled Therese closer to her and held her in a warm embrace. Therese rested her head on her shoulder as she cried. She wrapped her arms around Carol’s waist. They stayed cocooned like that for a couple of minutes until Therese had no more tears to cry. Her breathing returning back to normal thanks to Carol’s calming hand on Therese's back. When she felt calm enough again, Therese slowly pulled back to sit up straight again.

“Oh no. I’ve stained your robe with my mascara. I’m so sorry,” said Therese as she clean her tears with her hands. She had left a black patch on Carol’s shoulder where her cheek had been resting.

“Don’t worry, darling. Your makeup is all over the place. I can’t leave you like this.”

“It’s OK. I think I should go, it’s late.”

“I can’t let you go. Not when you’re like this. Please, stay here for tonight. You can sleep in the guest room. It’s ready.”

“Fine …”

Therese hated to admit that Carol was right. Her body could no longer function properly. It was drained from energy. Her head was starting to throb around the temples. This reunion had taken a huge toll on her. All she wanted now was to sleep. Carol helped her up and together they walked to the guest room. Therese had never been in there. It was a small room with a queen size bed and minimum furniture. Therese approached the bed and sat on it, leaving out a sigh.

“Wait here. I’ll get something to clean your face and some clothes.”

 

Carol left the room, leaving Therese trying to fight to stay up. She removed her shoes and then she searched for the zipper of her dress but quickly realized that it was on her back and she couldn’t reach it. Danny had helped her dress for that reason. Carol returned to the room with a pair of white shorts, a black t-shirt and a pack of makeup wipes. She left the clothes on the bed next to Therese. She then kneeled in front of Therese and removed one of the wipes from the pack to gently clean off Therese’s makeup. It felt so nice to have Carol’s hand caressing her gently she almost gave in completely. 

“Done,” said Carol with a smile when she finished.

“Would you please help me with the zipper? I can’t reach the top,” asked Therese, a little embarrassed. It had been so long since Carol had undressed her she didn’t know how to keep her body in line.

“Yes darling, turn around.”

Therese got up and turned around as Carol told her. She hoped Carol wouldn’t notice how her body was shaking like a leaf. She couldn’t control it when it came to being this close to her. She closed her eyes as she felt Carol’s nails at the top of her neck, sending goosebumps all over her. The zipper was a small one so it was hard to pull it down. Carol had to try carefully a few times to avoid breaking it or the delicate fabric. Finally she was able to pull it all the way down, revealing part of Therese’s back. Therese quickly turned around to face Carol again with her hands across her chest feeling slightly exposed.

“Thank you. I’m all good now. You can go to sleep.” Therese tried hard to hide her nerves and fight the urge from her body. The brief contact had awakened old passions.

“OK, I’ll let you change. Let me know if you need anything else. You know where the bathroom is. Goodnight Therese.”

“Goodnight Carol.”

 

Carol walked out, closing the door behind her. It took a moment for Therese to regain motion and change into the clothes Carol had given her. She put on the white shorts and the black t-shirt that hung a bit too loose on her. Pretty much everything looked big on her skinnier body now. She got inside the soft bed sheets. She soon felt her muscles relaxing to the comfort but her mind was far from that. It was still trying to process everything that had just happened. How Carol had been so caring and worried enough to let her stay. _ I never stopped loving you.  _ How could Therese still hold any hard feelings towards Carol? She needed to start forgiving her. What she did, she did for the love she had for Therese. 

She tried to push away those thoughts to try to go to sleep but something else kept bothering her.  _ Dannie! I have to let him know I’m sleeping here.  _ She got out of the bed and quietly opened the door. She walked to the living room careful not to trip on anything since the lights were off; she only had the moonlight coming through the window to guide her. It took her a minute to find her purse lying on the couch. She took her phone out to text Dannie. It was almost 1:00AM.

Therese: I’m staying at Carol’s. It’s not what you think. I’ll see you tomorrow.

She put the phone back inside her purse and turned around to head back to her room. She could see light coming through Carol’s half opened bedroom door. She wondered what she might be doing up so late in the night. She walked closer to the light in tiptoes while holding her breath. As she got a few inches away from the door she could hear quiet sobs coming from inside. Her brain was telling her to turn around and head back to the guest room but the beating of her heart told her to continue. When she finally approached Carol's room, she knocked on the door lightly before she pushed it open and stepped inside.

“Carol, are you OK?”

She saw Carol sitting on her bed with what looked like a diary on her hand. She had taken the robe off so now it was just the delicate white nightgown on her revealing her beautiful marble skin. She sure had been crying for her eyes were wet and red.

“Yes, yes. I was just writing about the day. It’s nothing. I’m sorry if I woke you up,” explained Carol as she cleaned her tears with her hands while giving Therese a shy smile.

“You didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep. There’s too much going on in my head. Carol… I-... could I sleep with you? I get it if you don’t...I think I be-...”

“It’s fine. Come,” said Carol, smiling.

Carol put her journal away and opened the bed for Therese to get in. Therese walked shyly towards the bed. Once she got in, Carol covered her with the sheets. She slid down to rest on her side to face Therese who was facing the ceiling.

“What is it that you’re writing?” asked Therese still looking up.

“It’s a journal. It helps me get my feelings and thoughts out of my system. I started it on that day … when I left you.”

Therese hold her breath. Carol had also been in terrible pain all this time but unlike Therese, she had chosen a healthier way to cope with it. Therese felt stupid for having chosen a more self-destructive path. One that sure had left traces on her and she wasn’t sure if she would recover from them.

“Have you written about me?”

“Yes. Most of the pages are filled with your name. With all the things I was so desperate to tell you. All the  _ forgive me  _ and  _ I love you  _ that I couldn't say to you. When I saw you earlier today at school I felt like maybe I had lost you forever. I couldn’t see that spark in your eyes anymore. I felt scared...but now you’re here, with me.”

Carol gently pushed some lose hairs away from Therese’s face. She continued to caress her cheek with her thumb. Therese turned to look at her in the eyes. Those eyes that were looking back at her with some much love and fear at the same time. They were asking a silent question:  _ Do you still love me, Therese?  _ Therese knew there was only one way to answer to that. She placed one hand behind Carol’s neck and pushed her closer to her lips. She kissed her hard. Their tongues crashing together felt like rain after a drought. Every cell in Therese’s body flourished like a field of flowers. Carol was her sun. They continued to kiss passionately until their lungs screamed for air. Therese looked into Carol’s eyes once again to find lust in them this time. Lust for her. She pulled one of Carol’s nightgown straps down her shoulder and kissed her in that delicate part causing Carol’s body to tremble. Next she pushed Therese down on her back and pulled the sheets away from both of thm. She grabbed Therese’s t-shirt rim and started to pull it all the way up until it was off. Carol stared in silence at Therese’s body. It had changed from the last time she had seen it. Her rib bones were more prominent now as well has her hip bones. She traced them with her fingers feeling them.

“I did this to you,” said Carol with a quivering voice. Tears were starting to form under her eyes. “Please forgive me, my love.” She closed her eyes, letting those tears finally free.

Therese quickly sat up to meet Carol in the eye as she held her face in both hands.  

“I love you, Carol,” whispered Therese before she kissed her again, softer this time.

With lips still locked, Carol pushed Therese down one more time. She broke the kiss to remove the remaining clothes on Therese as well as her own. Just the sight of Carol’s breathtaking naked body was enough to make Therese extremely wet, a feeling she had almost forgotten about. She extended her hand and cupped one of Carol’s breast; its roundness, its weight and its softness so satisfying to the touch. Carol leaned forward and kissed Therese on the lips again, then continued down her neck. She then took one of Therese’s nipples in her mouth and circled it with her tongue while Therese did the same with her fingers, building heavy moans in both women. After Carol repeated the same treatment on the other breast, she continued her way down until she reached her center. She slid her fingers through Therese’s wet folds, the intimate touch sending Therese’s senses to overdrive. She had missed this intimate connection so much it almost felt like a first time. And in a way it was; Therese wasn’t the same anymore. Something had changed inside of her in the past two months; she didn’t feel the naive and inexperienced Therese anymore. She watched as Carol wasted no time and pushed two fingers inside while her thumb rubbed her clit. The rhythm of Carol’s fingers soon started to build Therese up. Her arching body was a blaze. Her breathing became quicker and irregular.

“Are you close?” asked Carol.

Therese only managed to nod with eyes closed. Carol removed her fingers from inside Therese which made her open her eyes again, confused.

“Please Carol, I’m-...” she pleaded.

The view of Carol savouring the same two fingers that had been inside her seconds ago made her even more insane. Carol pushed herself up on her knees and placed herself in between Therese’s legs. Therese was still confused by the sudden change of plans, unaware of what was going to happen next. Carol held one of her legs up as she lowered herself until her pussy came in contact with Therese’s. Therese couldn't contain the loud moan that escaped her lips, the new sensation being too much for her. Carol started to rub her slit against Therese’s all the while she locked eyes with her. Her sight was so powerful, so penetrating, so sexy. Her body so strong, so confident of each move, so aware of the power it was having over Therese. Carol looked like Aphrodite herself rising in front of Therese’s eyes. Therese grabbed Carol from behind and pushed her harder against her as her climax started to build again. She could notice that both were on the verge of it with her moans becoming one. She closed her eyes again and let herself completely go underneath Carol as they came together. Therese observed as Carol descended from her wave her body still twitching. She delicately caressed the leg across her to bring Carol back. Once she did, she climbed down to lie back next to Therese. They both stared at each other’s faces, both unable to contain a smile.

“There you are again, my angel,” said Carol as she pulled Therese for one last soft kiss. For the first time in many nights, both Carol and Therese would finally sleep now that they were back in each other’s arms. They were both now back home after the storm.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves!! After all the pain I've put you through, I hope you found some relieve with this one. Our lovely couple is back :)
> 
> What do you think will happen next? Will they be able to be finally happy?? Let me know in your comments :)
> 
> Much love as always


	21. Circle of Hope

Therese woke up in the middle of the night with the urge to go to the bathroom. She got out of the bed carefully so as not to wake Carol. It still felt like a dream to have Carol sleeping next to her. Therese couldn’t contain a smile. She went quietly to the bathroom. She put on a robe which was hanging from behind the door and instead of returning to the bed, she headed to the living room. She picked up her purse again only to search for her cigarettes this time. She walked to open the balcony door to have a smoke outside. The balcony wasn't very big but it had a nice outdoor furniture set that consisted of a pair of lounge chairs and a table. There were a couple of green plants in the corner. The night was warm with a cool breeze and the moon was still shining bright. Therese sat at one of the patio chairs as she lighted the cigarette. Although she didn’t feel the anxiety and sadness that were there reason she began smoking in the first place, now there were new fears and worries arising. She didn’t doubt Carol’s love for her; she had made it very clear earlier. And Therese didn’t doubt about hers either. But what was going to happen next now that they were both free? Carol didn’t work at the museum anymore; she didn’t know if she even had a new job. Therese had finished school and now her time to stay in the country was getting shorter and shorter. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Carol approaching.

“What are you doing out here? Are you smoking? Since when, Therese?” Carol looked very surprised to find Therese smoking. She stood by the balcony door with her arms across her. She had the same robe on as earlier.

“I started to smoke some weeks ago,” replied Therese looking down, feeling a little ashamed for her confession. 

“Oh … I see.” Carol sat on the chair next to Therese. She had a somber look on her face. “I remember the first time I offered you one and you said no. I would always try to not smoke in front of you because clearly you didn’t like it then. So much has changed now …” Carol finished without looking at Therese.

“Carol, my love for you hasn’t changed.” Therese went for Carol’s hand and held it tight. Carol looked down at their joined hands. 

“I didn’t cope as well as you. I picked on all the wrong habits.” 

“Do you think that I  _ coped well _ ?” asked Carol, raising her voice while looking at Therese with wide open eyes. She pulled her hand free from Therese's.

“That’s not what I–”

“I spent the first week in bed crying for you, questioning if what I had done was the right choice to make. Fearing that you would never forgive me; that  you’d never come back to me. I didn't have a job anymore so I just didn’t know what to do with myself. Abby came one day and forced me to pack and go to her summer house and pick up my pieces. I had to do it for Rindy. She has also been sad with this whole situation ever since that day Harge took her away from us. She loves you, too. I had to be strong for her and not let her believe that her father had won. I promised her that you’d come back one day but as time passed I started to fear that wouldn’t happen. What if you had found someone else better than me I–” 

Carol started to sob uncontrollably. Therese had never seen her crying like that. All because Carol thought Therese wouldn’t come back to her while Therese blamed her for pushing her away. Therese knew that all these hard feelings and doubts needed to stop right there and then or they would only make them grow distant and bitter. She quickly extinguished the cigarette on the iron table and got up to sit on Carol’s lap. She held her face with strong hands to get her full focus.

“Carol, please stop. I’m here now with you and I’m not going anywhere. There wasn’t anybody else except you. It will always be YOU, in a thousand cities...you. I love you and I forgive you. I don’t want you to doubt this, us, ever again. We are together now and together we will continue to fight, OK?”

“Yes…” Carol let out between sobs. 

“Now will you forgive yourself? Say it.”

“I forgive myself.” 

Therese held Carol tight with her head against her chest. Now it was her turn to make Carol release that pain that had been clouding Carol’s heart and mind. It didn’t take long to feel Carol relaxed again in her arms. 

“Would you like some pancakes?” Carol asked as she looked at Therese with a more cheerful look.

“But Carol, it’s not even morning.” Therese couldn’t help looking at her love as if she had gone mad.

“It’s going to be soon. I’m starved but if you don’t want any I’ll make some for myself.”

“No! I’ve missed them so much. Blueberries?” asked Therese with a smile.

“Of course, my angel,” said Carol before giving Therese a small kiss on the lips.

They went back inside and headed to the kitchen. Therese helped Carol get the ingredients and she watched her as she started to mix them together. She loved watching her cook. There was something so relaxing and enchanting about her.

“Don’t stand there just watching. Grab that tray and set it. We’re having pancakes in bed.”

Therese put two small plates and two glasses with orange juice on the tray. She picked a bigger plate for the pancakes. She helped Carol plating them once they were ready as she always did. They walked back to the bedroom. Therese let out a loud moan when she tasted the pancakes. They were better than she had remembered. She was in paradise. She ate three in a row and it was as if her appetite had finally awakened again after all this time and Therese couldn’t satisfy it.

“Slow down darling, or you’ll feel sick.”

“They are seriously good. So good. You’re the best cook,” said Therese, finishing the last bite.

“I’m not but I’m glad to see you eating, angel.” Carol gently wiped the sides of Therese’s mouth that had traces of blueberry on them. 

Once they were both finished, they sat in bed; Carol held Therese in her arms while she played with her hair. 

“I never told you. I like it.”

“What do you like, darling?”

“Your hair. It looks very nice.”

“Oh, thank you. It was my birthday and I needed a change so I-...”

“It was your birthday?” exclaimed Therese as she sat up straight and looked at Carol. “When was it?”

“Last week. It was nothing. Abby and Crystal took me out for dinner. They didn’t want me to spend it alone.”

“I’m so sorry, Carol. I wish I had been there with you. I really do.”

“It’s OK, angel. We can still celebrate. I have some good news.”

“What is it?” asked Therese excitedly. 

“I got accepted as an art buyer at one of the most prestigious art galleries of the city. I’m starting on Monday.”

“Oh my God, Carol! That’s amazing! Congratulations!” Therese started to place kisses all over Carol’s face, making the older woman giggle.

“I’m nervous. I haven’t worked with art in a while but I can’t wait to do so again. I’ve missed it. And you want to know something?”

“What?”

“They are always looking for new artists; not just painters but photographers too. I could show them your work if you want.”

“Are you serious? I don’t think they are that good…”

“Yes they are, Therese! You have to start believing in your talent.”

“OK…”

“So, would you like to go on a date with me tonight, Therese?”

“Yes, Carol.”

* * *

 

They went back to sleep with full tummies and hearts. Therese was the first one to wake up around two in the afternoon. It took her a moment to realise she wasn’t dreaming; Carol was indeed sleeping in front of her eyes with that angelic glow around her. After a few minutes of contemplation and adoration, she gave her Greek Goddess a warm kiss on the lips, her favorite way to wake up Carol. They cuddled in bed for a bit before they got up to start with their new day; a new day full of possibilities with both of them back together. They had planned that Therese should go back to her place, get herself ready for their date later that night and pack a bag to stay at Carol’s for a few days. They had a quick lunch before Therese left.

When Therese was about to open the door to her apartment, she heard a voice from across the room that startled her. 

“The walk...of shame.”

“Dannie! You scared me,” said Therese as she opened the door to her place.

“Don’t you dare close that door on me. We gotta talk.”

Dannie walked towards Therese who was still standing at the entrance. She let out a sigh and let Dannie in. Therese sat at the couch with him following.  

“So what happened?” asked Dannie expectantly.

“Hhmmm… we talked. She told me how sorry she was for the pain she caused me. She also went through a hard time missing me but she has Rindy so she had to march on. Unlike me…”

“You did what you could. You graduated, Therese! You both did what you had to do. So that’s it? You talked?”

“She asked me to sleep there because I wasn’t in the best shape after we talked so I said yes.”

“Aaannddd?? C´mon Therese, you’re killing me!”

“I couldn’t sleep so after I texted you I noticed she was awake so I went to check in on her and… she told me I could sleep with her and well, things got intimate.”

“OMG YES! Was it as good as you remembered it?” asked Dannie in a playful tone.

“Stop!” said Therese punching him on the arm. “Better,” she confessed with red cheeks.

After a shared laugh, Dannie’s expression got suddenly serious.

“Therese, have you talked about your situation with her? What’s gonna happen next?”

“I couldn’t. I was just so overwhelmed with emotions. I didn’t want to ruin the moment. She told me she has a new job and we’re going out on a date tonight to celebrate. Maybe I’ll talk to her then. We just got together again, Dannie.”

“I know Therese but you don’t have much time. You have to find a way if you want to stay here. A job, something. I’ll see what I can do, too.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

* * *

Dannie left the apartment after an hour, leaving Therese alone to get ready for her date with Carol. Her first official date. Now that they were both free, they could go out in public holding hands and kissing. They wouldn’t have to hide anymore. It had felt like an impossible thing for so long that Therese could hardly hold her excitement. Would it be too soon to call each other names? Girlfriends? They had known each other for what felt like forever but since this would be their first official date, Therese thought best to hold that question for another time. It was about Carol tonight, to celebrate her new achievement. Therese was so proud of her.

 

She started to pack a bag of clothes to spend the next couple of days with Carol. She hadn’t asked for how long or if they were going anywhere. She trusted her. Since she had missed Carol’s birthday, she thought to give her all the pictures she had take of her as a present, including the last ones from Rindy’s birthday. Therese had taken some lovely ones of mother and daughter together. She had them already printed and she wished she had a nice frame to put them in but there was no time to go shopping. After she had a shower, she did her hair and makeup. She wanted to be extra beautiful for the night. Since she didn’t have that many dresses, she decided to put on the [green one](https://www.worldcelebritydress.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1210x1818/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/o/rooney_mara_the_27th_annual_santa_barbara_film_festival_green_short_mini_dress__2.jpg) she had worn for her birthday; the night Carol had taken her out for dinner. Although it hadn’t been a real date, it sure felt like it for Therese and now that they were going out officially, it felt like everything had come full circle.

 

She texted Carol around 7:00 to let her know she was ready and that she would come down to avoid Carol having to search for a parking place. Carol had told her she had made a reservation at 8:00 at a very special place. Carol arrived fifteen minutes later.

Therese opened the back door first to put her bag and camera in the back seat, then she jumped in next to Carol.

“Hello again my love,” greeted Carol as she leaned forwards to kiss Therese.

Carol was wearing a [purple pantsuit](https://v5.femalefirst.co.uk/image-library/port/1000/c/cate-blanchett-1.jpg) with a white shirt underneath that was unbuttoned at the top. She had light pink lipstick and black eyeliner which accentuated her beautiful blue eyes. Therese couldn’t help but smile at the brightness of colors that they had both chosen for that evening. They wouldn’t go unnoticed that night.

“That dress… is the one from your birthday?” asked Carol as she touched the dress.

“Yes it is. I don’t have many clothes so I-...”

“It’s perfect, Therese.” Carol caressed Therese’s face making her smile. “I love these dimples when you smile,” said Carol as she run her thumb through them.

 

They held hands for most of the ride to the restaurant Carol had picked for them. They were heading to a part of the city Therese hadn’t been to before near the Hudson River. They parked outside [The River Café](https://blankslatepages.s3.amazonaws.com/564b55bd10261-11140228_501612756664209_2642547689687985113_n.jpg), which was just underneath Brooklyn Bridge. Once they got out of the car, Carol joined Therese’s side and put an arm around her waist as they headed in. The restaurant didn’t say much from the outside but one they stepped inside Therese almost left out a cry. At the back of the room there were [large windows](https://www.wheretraveler.com/sites/default/files/styles/wt17_promoted_large/public/images/rivercafe.jpg?itok=AEWcA3ei&timestamp=1452030916) revealing the most breathtaking view of the Hudson river with Manhattan’s tall illuminated buildings behind it. The Statue of Liberty could be seen in the distance. Their table was right next to that magnificent view. 

“Carol...this is too much, I can’t,” Therese was having a hard time trying to convey her feelings. 

“Please darling, sit down. I want tonight to be special.” 

The moment they sat down, a waiter came to the table to bring them the menu. Carol went through it with expert eyes. Therese was still lost looking at the beautiful view.

“Have you tried lobster before?” repeated Carol.

“Oh, I’m sorry! No, I haven’t. Is it good?”

“You will love it,” said Carol giving Therese a wink. She turned back to the waiter to place the order. 

“Two lobsters please and a bottle of white wine.”

 

As soon as the waiter left, Carol reached out across the table to grab Therese’s hand. They stayed like that in silence while they admired the view. Music was playing in the background and Therese payed attention to the lyrics that resonated with everything she was feeling inside:  _ T[here's nothing like you and I baby. This is no ordinary love. No ordinary love.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WcWHZc8s2I) _ She turned her face to look at those blue eyes that were looking back at her with stars in them. She squeezed Carol's hand. Her heart felt as if it was going to burst with happiness and love. The night couldn’t be more perfect. 

 

The waiter didn’t take long to return with the order. The dish smelled delicious and looked even more so. The lobster was cooked in butter and Chardonnay sauce. It melted in Therese’s mouth the second she tried it. She had never tasted something like that. Carol was watching her with a smile on her face. The wine was also very tasty, the perfect combination. During dinner Carol talked more about her job and what would she be doing. She would be working through the week but she could be needed on a weekend. She was also excited about the idea of having to travel in order to get to the art or the artists needed for the gallery. Therese listened to her closely, loving the chance to learn more about this side to Carol and her passion for art. She sounded very excited to be back in the art world. Carol also told Therese that she had been trying to get more time with Rindy. After revealing what she had on Harge that could affect his business, she had felt confident to claim for more time with her daughter. Harge simply had no other choice than to give her a couple more days a month so now Rindy would stay with Carol two weekends per month and some extra days during the week. 

 

They could barely finish their main courses. Carol ordered a delicate yogurt semifreddo with fresh pomegranate sorbet for dessert. The shared it since they were too full from the lobster. After Carol paid the check, they went outside to the [peer platform](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/NXhtT3AWyO9BQUonG6zdibJtp6M=/0x0:960x533/1200x800/filters:focal\(404x191:556x343\)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/55993359/river_cafe.0.jpg) to enjoy the view. Therese looked up to observe Brooklyn Bridge standing there as the iron giant that it was. They continued to walk hand in hand through the railing that separated  them from the river and Manhattan. The view was too much to take all in. Therese felt she still had so much to see and learn about this city but her time was running out. She felt anxiety growing inside of her. She took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it. She rested her arms on the rail facing the river as she took a drag to calm herself. 

“Is everything OK, Therese?” asked Carol with a worried look.  

“It’s nothing. I don’t want to ruin this beautiful night.”

“Tell me what’s going on, please.” Carol grabbed Therese’s arm and gently rubbed it with her thumb.

“It’s just that… my time here is running out and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you, Carol.” 

Therese turned around and looked at Carol with black tears running down her face. She tried to take another drag but her hand was too shaky so she put it out. Carol took her in her arms.

“Darling, the thought of you having to leave breaks my heart into million pieces. I won’t let that happen. I know that we haven’t been in what you’d call a relationship. We just got back together again but I know the love is there, I can feel it. I can see it in your eyes and I hope you can see mine for you, too. What I’m trying to say is that…” Carol broke the embrace and held Therese by the shoulders, looking directly into her eyes. “This may come as a shock to you and it’s fine if you feel it’s too much and you don’t want to do it. Therese…” said Carol as she got down to one knee and took a small black box from out of her pocket. “Would you marry me?”

Therese stood still in complete shock. The question knocked the air out of her lungs, the sound out of her ears. All she could hear was the beating of her heart. She could see Carol’s lips moving, the sound of her voice coming as from afar. Therese closed her eyes to concentrate back on her breathing.  _ Therese _ she heard Carol say again. She opened her eyes and before Carol could say another word, Therese kneeled in front of Carol, she took her face in her hands and kissed her passionately. She broke the kiss to give Carol the word she was waiting for.

“Yes. Yes, Carol,” replied Therese with her forehead resting on top of Carol’s, breathing her answer into Carol’s mouth. She could taste Carol’s tears as they kissed again.

“Wait … the ring,” said Carol as she broke the kiss, making Therese giggle.

She opened the box to reveal a beautiful and delicate [emerald ring with diamonds](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0672/4559/products/vintage-emerald-diamond-trilogy-ring-4.jpg?v=1549116542) resting in the middle. Therese left out a gasp. Carol took the ring out of the box to then take Therese’s hand and put the ring on her finger. 

“Carol … it’s beautiful. I don’t know what to say.”

“I saw it a month ago at a vintage jewelry store and I knew I had to get it. It reminded me of your green eyes; the ones I had missed so much.”

Therese helped Carol back up on her feet. Before they left, they asked a couple that was passing by to take a picture of them kissing with beautiful Manhattan behind them with Therese’s phone. She wanted to have that moment saved forever. 

 

They walked back to the car holding hands, making Therese aware of the ring wrapped around her finger which signified a new security that hadn't been there before. That small object had suddenly become Therese's life savior. A circle of hope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I hope this chapter was everything you expected. I've been wanting to write about this moment for so long!
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, as always!
> 
> Love you all!!!


	22. Toast

Therese woke up to soft kisses from Carol on her naked shoulder. Carol was holding her from behind with a hand around Therese’s waist. The first thing Therese did, as soon as she opened her eyes, was check for the ring on her finger. She needed to make sure that last night hadn’t been a dream, although it sure felt like one. Dinner alone at that magical restaurant had already been special enough she couldn’t have asked for a more magical first date but Therese couldn’t have imagined what was going to happen next. The proposal took Therese completely by surprise. She didn’t expect Carol to offer her that, at least not that soon. Sure, Therese had thought of the possibility of getting married in order to legalize her stay in the country but she wasn’t going to impose it on Carol. Carol had a family, Rindy, to take into consideration before she could make such a life changing decision like that. Therese was now going to be part of a family after a long time of being alone. The thought of becoming Rindy’s mother at such a young age didn’t scare her. On the contrary, Therese was excited to be able to finally have a family of her own with two of the people she loved the most.  

Therese gave a sigh of relief when she saw that the emerald ring was still sparkling on her hand that was resting beside her face. She smiled.

“Good morning, angel,” greeted Carol as she brushed Therese’s hair away from her face and gave her a warm kiss on her cheek.

“Good morning, Carol.” Therese turned on her back and placed one hand on Carol’s cheek before she gave her a soft kiss on the lips in return. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds both with a smile on their faces.

“How did my soon to be wife sleep?”

“Like a baby,” answered Therese between giggles, the mention of the word “wife” being the cause of her happiness.

“I’m going to make breakfast.”

“No! Let’s stay a little longer,” pleaded Therese. She turned back to her original position. “Hold me.”

Carol did as Therese asked and held her tight with one hand. Therese could feel Carol’s nose smelling her around her neck and it made Therese giggle as it tickled her.

“I love your smell … but what I love most is this ring around your finger,” said Carol as her fingers started to play with Therese’s ring.

“And I love how it makes me feel: safe … and loved.”

Carol held her even tighter if that was even possible. They stayed locked in silence for a few minutes. Therese had closed her eyes to enjoy that moment but she got startled when she felt something wet running down her neck.

“Carol … what is it? Why are you crying?” Therese turned to face Carol with a concerned look. Carol looked back at her with clouded eyes.

“I I’m just so happy. I never thought that I would be this happy ever again and it’s all because of you. I can’t imagine my life without you. I need you by my side forever and for always … but are you sure about all this?” asked Carol as she struggled to get her words out.

“Yes, Carol. Are you?” Therese looked at both eyes expectantly.

“Of course, angel. I don’t want you to think that I’m just doing this to do you a favor or something …”

“I know, Carol. I love you and I can’t wait to do this with you.” Therese gave Carol that irresistible dimple smile.

“We have to talk about wedding plans and what we’ll have to do afterwards in order to keep you here with me.”

“Can we talk after we have breakfast, please? I’m starving.”

“Of course, my love.”

 

After breakfast was ready, they sat at the table and started to eat Carol’s famous blueberry pancakes. Therese couldn’t get enough of them and the idea of having them every morning for the rest of her days made her heart and stomach happy.

“So … who are we going to tell about this?” asked Therese between bites.

“Our closest people of course: Abby and Crystal, Dannie and Tom.”

“What about Rindy? Have you talked to her?” asked Therese nervously. Rindy was still too young to understand. What if she didn’t like the idea of Therese becoming her other mother?

Carol read the fear in her eyes so she grabbed Therese’s hand and held it tightly in hers.

“Everything is going to be fine. She loves you, Therese.”

“But we’re going to get married, Carol. I’m going to be her mother. What if she doesn’t like me like that?”

“Oh God Therese, I never asked you! Do you want to be a mother at all?” Carol covered her mouth with her free hand. Now it was her time to get scared. “I can understand if you don’t want to take on that role … I mean you’re young and I-...”

“Carol, I’d love to be Rindy’s mother. I love her, too. I can’t wait for us to be a family.” Therese put her other hand on top of Carol’s and she squeezed it as a sign of reassurance. She saw as Carol’s eyes became watery and she left out a sigh.

“We’ll tell her together next week, then. As a family. I’m sure she will be jumping all around after we tell her,” said Carol and they both laughed.

“And when are we going to tell the others? I know Dannie will kill me if I don’t tell him right away.”

“I was thinking … what if we invite everybody tomorrow for dinner to share the news?”

“Oh God, that’s going to be the first time they’ll meet. I can’t wait to see that!”

“Me neither,” said Carol with a shy smile.

Therese watched as Carol started to play with the half eaten pancake still on her plate. She knew something else was on Carol’s mind.

“What’s wrong, Carol?”

“Nothing… I was just wondering when would you like to move in with me. I know all of this is a little too rushed…”

“A _little_?” asked Therese faking to be shocked. Carol’s eyes grew big and she pursed her lips. “I’m joking! I want to move in as soon as possible. I don’t have much stuff so it will be easy.”

“I have some empty boxes. We can fit everything in my car.”

“But we will have to do that after tomorrow night, after we tell Dannie.”

“Of course. That’s why I asked you to pack some stuff,” said Carol with a smirk.

“Oh I see, you had all of this planned ahead, didn’t you?” replied Therese as she crossed her arms, pretending to be offended by Carol’s revelation. She tried to keep a straight face as she watched Carol get up and walk towards her.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, darling. Maybe since the very first day that I saw you.”

Carol put her hands around Therese’s face as she leaned forward and kissed her. Therese uncrossed her arms to place them around Carol’s neck. Therese felt butterflies growing in her stomach. Would that feeling ever stop? She hoped it never did.

 

They went back to bed. Therese grabbed her phone and decided to call Dannie right away and tell him about tomorrow’s dinner at Carol’s. They decided not to tell him that Abby and Crystal would be there too in order to avoid any suspicions. Carol sat next to her caressing her forearm while Therese was on the phone.

“Terry, finally! How was it?”

“Last night was a dream, Dannie.” Therese looked at Carol and smiled at her.

“You better tell me everything in detail next time.”

“Well, that’s why I’m calling. We’d like you and Tom to come over here and have dinner with us. Are you two free tomorrow night?”

“Of course we are! We wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t wait to see Carol’s closet. Should we bring anything?”

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll text you the details. See you tomorrow, then. Love you.”

“Love you, Terry!”

Therese left her phone by the night stand and turned to Carol.

“That went well,” said Carol.

“I don’t think he suspects anything so that’s good!”

It was now Carol’s turn to text Abby. She replied within a couple of minutes saying that she and Crystal would be there. Everything was going as planned.

* * *

 

The next day, they got up early to start their day. It was a beautiful sunny day so Carol proposed to head downtown to [Chelsea Market](http://www.chelseamarket.com/) where they would be able to get everything they needed for dinner. It was another place Therese had never seen so she was excited to visit it. They had breakfast at a nice little coffee shop called Ninth Street Espresso. After they were finished, Carol said she needed to get a special wine, _Marsala_ , for the dish she was going to cook later. The second they started to walk, Carol slid her hand to grab Therese’s tight. Therese, still not used to these kinds of demonstrations in public, almost let go of Carol’s hand in shock. She looked down at their joined hands and then at Carol as to confirm it was real. It was the first time they had held hands in public during the daytime with other people around them. Therese felt a wave of warmth and happiness inside her, but most of all she felt proud; proud to be walking hand in hand with the most beautiful woman in the world.

 

Once they got the wine, they went for mushrooms and fresh chicken cutlets for the [Chicken Marsala](https://www.onceuponachef.com/images/2018/01/Chicken-Marsala-760x533.jpg). Therese also got what she needed to bake the sweet rolls she had made for Christmas at Abby’s and that everybody loved. On their way back to the car they walked past a clothes shop. Therese stopped in her tracks to look at a [colorful striped summer dress](https://www.modcloth.com/dw/image/v2/ABAT_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-modcloth-master/default/dwaad4d4b0/images/10108455_brilliant_presence_cotton_sundress_multi_MAIN.jpg?sw=913) that was on display. She had never been one for bright colors but something inside her had changed. She felt bright and happy and colorful just like that dress.

“You should try it on,” said Carol who was looking at Therese’s reaction.  

“It’s OK, I don’t want to delay us,” replied Therese as she snapped out of her trance.

“I want to see you in it tonight. Let’s go.”

Carol pulled them inside the store. The dress looked absolutely beautiful on Therese, her pale and much healthier looking skin the perfect canvas to contrast the bright colors on the fabric. Therese also got a pair of brown sandals to go with it.

 

When they finally got home, Carol prepared a Caesar salad with some of the chicken they had bought. They ate on the balcony to keep enjoying the warm sunny weather. Carol explained to Therese that after they got their marriage licence they would have to apply for the adjustment status given that Therese had entered the country legally with her student visa. Since these types of processes were bound to take time, Carol suggested to marry as soon as possible. They both agreed on a small ceremony with their loved ones on a weekend when Carol would have Rindy with her.

With empty plates, full stomachs and hearts, they sat back in silence to enjoy the view. Therese’s mind was speeding with thoughts on the wedding. So much to do in such a short time. Just a few days or even hours ago, Therese would have felt the need to light a cigarette to relieve the stress she was feeling but she now realised she didn’t need that anymore. She just needed to look to her right and find the source of her happiness and calmness: Carol.

“I’m quitting smoking,” said Therese out loud more to herself than to Carol.

“I’m so proud of you.” Carol put a hand on Therese’s forearm. “I will too.”

* * *

 

Thankfully both dishes Carol and Therese had picked for dinner weren’t going to take too much to cook so they started two hours before their guests arrived. They listened to jazz while they cooked. Therese could see herself spending each afternoon preparing dinner with Carol and Rindy. There was a sense of belonging she hadn’t felt in a long time. She belonged with Carol and it was the final piece that completed her. She tried hard not to shed a tear even though it was a happy tear. After Carol left her chicken sitting and Therese put the rolls in the oven, they started to get ready. Therese put on the dress she had bought that day. Carol also kept it simple with a [white summer dress](https://ik.imagekit.io/bfrs/tr:w-1200,h-1200,pr-true,cm-pad_resize,bg-FFFFFF/image_mineralfashion/data/PU18B--458-WT-4.jpg) as well. Their smiles were their best accessory that night. Therese hesitated to take off her ring and wait until everybody had arrived but instead she just turned it around with the stone towards the inside of her hand.

Abby and Crystal were the first ones to arrive.

“Carol … Therese, I’m so happy to see you together again,” greeted Crystal as they stepped inside Carol’s apartment.

Abby was holding a tray with snacks she ad prepared herself. Carol took it and placed it on the coffee table.

“I’m glad to see you again, Therese,” added Abby as she hugged Therese.

“Please have a seat. What do you want to drink?” asked Carol. Therese was standing next to her waiting to be of use. She was starting to feel a little nervous.

“Whatever you’re having,” said Abby.

“I have white wine cooling in the fridge.”

“Sounds great.”

“Oh and by the way, we’re waiting for other guests to join us,” said Carol before she turned around and headed to the kitchen leaving Therese alone in front of Abby and Crystal.

“Who else is coming?” inquired Abby with a surprised face.

Therese swallowed hard before she answered.

“Dannie and Tom, my friends. Dannie lives across from my apartment. They are a couple, too.” Therese could feel her cheeks getting warmer.

“Oh. This is going to be one hell of a pride dinner,” said Abby and they all laughed.

 _She’s going to get on so well with Dannie_ , thought Therese.

“What did I miss?” asked Carol as she returned with some glasses and a bottle of wine. In that moment the doorbell rang. Therese walked to the door to welcome Dannie and Tom.

“Terry! You look so beautiful in that dress. You look so happy! I can’t believe it’s the same you,” said Dannie.

“Thank you, Dannie. I am happy. Very happy.”

Therese walked them back to the living room. Dannie and Tom were looking at the art around them as they walked.

“Therese … this place is amazing,” pointed out Tom.

Once they reached the living room, Therese introduced them to Abby and Crystal. They all gathered around the coffee table. Carol brought more glasses and a bottle of champagne. Therese stayed standing. She didn’t know what to do. She looked at Carol asking silently for help. Carol searched for Therese’s hand as she started to talk.

“The reason why we invited you here tonight is… well as you already know Therese and I are together again and well she...she wants to stay here in the country and well…” Carol started to stutter as she rumbled.

“Carol! Spill it out already!” yelled Abby who was at the edge of her seat.

“We’re getting married!” exclaimed Therese before Carol could say something. She watched all the jaws drop in front of them. Dannie was the first one to react.

“OMG TERRY! CONGRATULATIONS!” he exclaimed as he got up and went to hug Therese tightly almost leaving her out of breath.

Next was Tom, Abby and Crystal.

“Show me the ring!” asked Dannie

Therese rolled it back up with her thumb before she extended her hand to Dannie. He left out a gasp at the view of the emerald.

“Terry … Carol … this is beautiful. Wow.”

“Great choice my friend. Let’s toast, everybody,” said Abby as she started to hand in the glasses.

Tom help opening the champagne bottle and serving. Once everyone had their glasses full, Abby continued.

“I want to make a toast to these two amazing women. They met in the most peculiar way but it’s as if they were destined to be together. They’ve gone through happiness and also hard times but it all led here, to this moment. To Carol and Therese. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” said the rest as they clinked glasses.

 

After some chatting, they headed to the dining table. Therese helped Carol with the plates as she always did. Carol’s chicken marsala was delicious and the combination with white wine made it even more so. Even Dannie said how lucky Therese was for having such a great cook as future wife. He also congratulated Carol on her amazing taste for design. When the chat changed into a topic Therese wasn’t very knowledgeable of, she took the chance to detach herself and observe everybody interact with each other. She could see how Dannie and Abby were getting along so well, sharing the same sense of humor. Tom and Crystal were more on the quiet side but intervening when necessary. Therese watched as Carol’s and her world collided together and expanded into something bigger and better. She loved these people. They were her family. All those lonely years feeling lonely had lead her all the way here, to this moment. Her eyes finally rested on blue eyes, the stars that completed her constellation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I'm back from a short break. Life has been very busy lately and I just didn't have the energy to write. As always, I hope that you enjoyed this one. For some reason I feel that I lost my initial spark. It'd mean the world to know your thoughts on this one. 
> 
> Thank you for still reading!


	23. Moving

Carol woke up early the next morning to get ready for work. Therese offered to make breakfast for once, but Carol insisted that she should stay longer in bed. Therese wished her good luck on her first day and gave her a long kiss goodbye. Therese did as Carol told her and slept in for two more hours. Since it was just her when she woke up again, she had some cereal and fruit for breakfast. It felt strange to be alone in Carol’s place. She only had been there a couple of times, and it always had been with Carol around. She was now engaged to Carol so this would be her new home and she couldn’t feel more excited about it. She went to the living room and she went through the books Carol had on the bookshelf. Most of them were about art and photography. She also found classic novels from Virginia Wolf, the Brontë sisters, Jane Austen as well as a compilation on Poe and Shakespear. She grabbed her phone to take a picture of the books and sent it to Carol.

Therese: Which one should I read?

Carol answered a few minutes later.

Carol: “Wuthering Heights” is one of my favorites.

Therese: Sold. How’s your day going? Miss you.

Carol: It’s going fine. Mostly introductions. I might get off earlier. Miss you, too.

Therese followed Carol’s recommendation and started to read [Wuthering Heights](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71Rr2jecXsL.jpg) . She made herself comfortable on the couch, the morning sunlight coming through the window making it the perfect setting. After a couple of pages in she was already hooked by the storytelling and the complexity of the characters, especially Heathcliff. She would have never gotten the chance to read about these works at the orphanage; and from what she had read so far, the nuns would have considered it inappropriate. Therese had so many books and stories to discover; she already knew she wanted to read every book on Carol’s collection and discuss them with her.

The rumbling of her stomach brought Therese back to reality, making her close the book. She got up and went to the fridge in search for last night’s leftovers. She realized they would be short on milk and bread. She decided to go grocery shopping afterwards so Carol wouldn’t have to do it plus she could also get  things to prepare dinner to surprise her. It would have to be something easy like pasta for she didn’t want to set Carol’s apartment on fire on her first day alone in it.

Luckily there was a grocery shop just a few blocks away from Carol’s building. Therese got the missing items as well as wine, and ice cream for dessert. She decided on cooking a fresh Caprese pasta salad. When she got back home, she started to clean up in order to keep herself busy until Carol arrived. Although Carol had told Therese she would be home around 5:00 PM she texted her asking when she would be arriving since she wanted to surprise Carol with the bath ready for her to relax.

Carol arrived a little past 6:00. Therese jumped off the couch the second she heard the keys turning at the door. She ran towards the door and didn't let Carol pass the threshold for she was hugging her and kissing her all over her face.

“Looks like somebody missed me.”

“Yes, I very much did so. It feels so lonely here without you.” Therese let Carol free to let her close the door and leave her purse by the stand.

“I missed you too, angel. I couldn't wait to get home,” said Carol as she let out a sigh. She looked exhausted.

“How was your day? You look tired.” Therese caressed Carol's cheek.

“It was mostly meetings and getting to know the team I'll be working with and work flows. It has been ages since I had to learn everything from scratch.”

“I have a surprise for you,” announced Therese with a big smile, dimples showing. “Close your eyes!”

“Oh my…” said Carol as she closed them. She had a smirk on her face.

Therese grabbed her by one of Carol's arms and slowly guided her towards the bathroom.

“Open them!” ordered Therese once they stood in front of the bathtub.

 

Therese had kept the bathroom lights off and instead had lit some lavender scented candles that were at the sink and all around the [bathtub](https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/04/b0/3b/54/sofitel-marrakech-lounge.jpg) which was already filled with water. Therese had made the water a little warmer than necessary in order to keep the warmth longer. She had also added a lavender bath bomb in it. Carol let out a gasp. 

“Therese…you didn't have to do this.” Carol turned around to look at Therese. She was truly surprised.

“You deserve it after your first day at work. I want to take care of you. Now get in before the water gets cold. Relax while I cook dinner.”

“Cook dinner? Where's my Therese and what have you done with her?!” joked Carol and they both laughed.

“She's standing right in front of you and she loves you very much.” Therese placed light kiss on Carol's forehead before she turned around and left the bathroom.

 

Once in the kitchen and with her phone in her hand she started to go through the [Caprese salad](https://hips.hearstapps.com/del.h-cdn.co/assets/17/23/1496671199-capresepastasalad-003.jpg) recipe. She put the noodles in a casserole with water and put them to boil. Meanwhile she started to cut the tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil on a cutting board. Once the pasta was ready she rinsed it carefully at the sink and she let them there to cool down. She headed back to the bathroom to let Carol know dinner would be ready soon. She knocked on the door.

“Carol, dinner will be ready in 10 minutes,” announced Therese through the closed door.

She waited a few seconds but didn't hear a reply. She opened the door to find Carol with her eyes closed in the bathtub. Therese approached slowly and sat at the border of the bathtub. She extended one and shook Carol gently on her shoulder.

“Carol… wake up,” she said in a low voice so as not to scare her.

Blue irises reappeared slowly in the dim light cast by the candles. Therese thought she could see a flame reflected on Carol’s eyes but there was more in them. She knew that look so well and how weak it could make her heart.

“Join me,” said Carol in her husky voice. She had her arms resting at both ends of the tub making her look fiercely in control. Like the Goddess she was.

“Carol … dinner ... is ... ready.” Therese was having a hard time trying to come up with words. Carol had her completely charmed and lost for words.

“Did you leave anything on the stove?”

“No…”

“Then dinner can wait.” Carol raised her leg above water and rubbed her feet against Therese’s arm that was keeping Therese’s balance.

Therese felt her arm melting down. She swallowed hard before she got up and started to undress. Carol never took her eyes off her. It felt like a private show, Carol being her only and most precious audience. She let her dress fall down to the floor. The dim golden light showering the room made Therese feel less insecure about standing naked before Carol. She took one step and carefully stepped into the bathtub. Carol opened her legs to make room for Therese to sit between them. Therese took a deep breath and let it out as she gently sat down with her back to Carol. She couldn’t believe how stupidly nervous Carol could still make her feel. She had seen her naked before and still this moment felt so incredibly new. Therese leaned all the way back until her back came in contact with Carol’s chest. She could feel her hard nipples piercing through her skin. Therese laid her head on Carol’s shoulder as she closed her eyes.

“This feels … devine,” said Carol as she held Therese in her arms.

Therese finally relaxed herself into the embrace. Their breathing soon became one with their chests rising and sinking at the same time. They stayed quiet listening to each other's breathing, the lavender smell ever so soothing. It didn’t take long for Carol to start placing kisses on her cheek and continue all the way down her neck. Therese’s irregular breathing became more noticeable. When Carol focused on her shoulder with more open mouthed kisses, Therese turned to Carol and with one hand on her face she took Carol’s lower lip in hers. They kissed tenderly, with no rush, knowing that their lives together were only stretching out before them. They kissed knowing they had all the time in the world and yet not enough.

Right in that moment Carol's stomach decided to pronounce itself. Therese moved a few inches back and looked directly into Carol's eyes.

“Someone's hungry,” she said with a grin on her face.

“I’m always hungry when I’m around you,” replied Carol with a husky tone. Therese was left speechless for a second. Carol knew her weaknesses so well.

“Come on. Let's eat.”

Therese got up and stepped out of the bathtub. She held out a hand to help Carol. They dried each other with a towel and they put on robes. They walked hand in hand all the way to the kitchen. Therese saw Carol smiling at what she had been doing at the kitchen. Without saying a word Carol reached out for glasses, plates and silverware and headed to the table. The roles had been reversed. Therese smiled to herself with pride as she went back to her cooking.

 

She put the pasta in a bowl together with the rest of the ingredients on the cutting board. She added vinegar and salt before she brought the bowl to the table. Carol was already sitting at the table waiting for her expectantly with one hand under her chin. Therese remembered the first time they had talked at Carol's office and she had looked at her in that same way as she did now. Therese went quickly back to the kitchen and grabbed the wine from the fridge. She served the salad on each plate aware of Carol's eyes fixed on every movement she made. She finally sat down and waited for Carol to try the dish. There wasn't much room for mistakes but she still felt nervous. She wanted Carol's approval.

“Hhhmmm...This is so good, darling. This is exactly what I needed.” Carol took more bites with her mouth almost full.

Therese’s heart was so full just by the look of Carol enjoying her food so much she didn't need to eat.

“Why aren't you eating? Did you poison me?” joked Carol.

“No, silly!” said Therese as she started to eat from her plate.

Carol told her more about her day: the people she had met and the tasks she would have to do. She looked so excited to be working with art again.

“Oh and Abby texted me saying that she wants to help with the wedding plans. She offered her house again to host a beach wedding. It would be nice. What do you think?” asked Carol.

“I'd love that. At sunset.”

“I can picture it already. You're going to be the most beautiful bride,” said Carol as she squeezed Therese's hand.

“Only after you. You're always the most beautiful woman in the room.”

* * *

The next day, while Carol was at work, Therese took a taxi back to her place to get her things and move in with Carol. Rindy would be staying with them in three days and they both wanted to surprise her with Therese fully settled. Carol said she would pick her up after work to help with the boxes as she had promised.

 

As soon as Therese got to the building she headed to the landlord’s office to cancel the contract and pay for the remaining months. When she reached her floor she knocked on Dannie’s door with one hand while she held the folded boxes in the other. He opened and gave her a knowing look before he hugged her. Together they started to put Therese’s things inside the boxes: clothes and shoes that didn’t fit in the suitcase, towels, bed sheets, her cameras, books and her developed pictures. The apartment had come with furniture included so she wouldn’t have to worry about that. It didn’t take much time to get everything ready so they spent the rest of the afternoon in the couch.

“I’m gonna miss you, you know.”

“I’m moving a couple of minutes away … and you’re always welcome to visit.”

“I know but it won’t be the same. I won’t be able to slide records under the door.” They both laughed at this.

Therese would miss having Dannie so close to him, too. He had always been there for her when she needed it the most. He had been her first family in this new country the moment she had arrived. He had taught her to be confident, to be herself. She knew she wouldn’t be with Carol if it wasn’t for Dannie’s constant support and encouragement.

“So how are the wedding plans going?”

“There’s still a lot to do. Abby has offered her beach house to celebrate the wedding there. I’d love that, a wedding at the beach at sunset.”

“OMG yes Terry!! Like a celebrity wedding. Please let me be in charge of the dress!” Dannie clapped in excitement.

“Of course you will… if it wasn’t for you I’d still be wearing my old clothes.”

“That you would,” said Dannie pointing at her with a smirk on his face.

They stayed talking until Carol knocked on the door. She and Dannie grabbed a box each and headed downstairs to Carol’s car. Therese stayed a little behind double checking she hadn’t left anything behind but also to say goodbye to the first place that welcomed her; the place that had witnessed so much happiness and also sadness. She handed the key to the landlord and headed to the car. Carol and Dannie were resting on the car talking. Therese smiled.

“All done.”

“Well I guess we should go then,” said Carol.

Dannie stepped forward and gave Therese a long hug.

“I’m so proud of you, Terry. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Thank you for everything. Please come visit us.”

“Yes, you and Tom can come by anytime,” added Carol.

“Oh we sure will now with the wedding coming. Someone has to find the perfect dress for the perfect girl,” said Dannie as he patted Therese’s head.

“Like a fairy Godmother,” joked Carol.

“You sure are,” said Therese with a big smile.

* * *

 

Friday finally arrived, the day when Rindy would be staying with Carol and Therese until Sunday. Carol hadn’t told Rindy about Therese moving in since they wanted to surprise her. The day before during her alone time, Therese had gone to the mall and had gotten a photo album to put all the pictures of Carol, Rindy and herself in. She had also bought a frame to put the picture she had taken of Carol while she was sleeping. She loved that picture.

 

Carol texted Therese when she was on her way back home with Rindy. She told Therese to hide in Rindy’s room so she sat on Rindy’s bed to wait for them. A couple of minutes later she heard the front door open. She could hear Carol talking to Rindy.

“Now go and leave your bag in your room. There’s a surprise waiting for you there.”

Therese heard small steps running towards the room. She held her breath in excitement until the door opened.

“THERESE!” exclaimed Rindy as she ran towards Therese with open arms. Therese took her by the arms and sat her on her lab.

“I’ve missed you so much, little girl,” said Therese as she hugged her tightly. Carol was watching them from the bedroom door with a big smile.

“Are you going to stay tonight?” asked Rindy barely holding her excitement.

“Y-...yes.” Therese hesitated. She didn’t know if she should be the one to break the big news.

“Rin … there’s something we want to tell you,” said Carol as she sat on the bed next to Therese.

“What, Mommy?” Rindy had all her attention on Carol now.

“Therese is going to live with me … because we’re going to get married soon.”

Rindy stayed silent for a while. Therese started to get nervous fearing Rindy wouldn’t understand or what would be worse: not accepting Therese.

“Rin, did you understand what I said?” asked Carol as she caressed Rindy’s face.

Rindy turned her head to look at Therese with big hazel eyes.

“Does it mean that … I can call you  _ mommy _ , too?” asked Rindy with a shy tone.

“Only if you want to,” replied Therese looking back at Rindy.

“YES! I have two mommies now!”

 

Rindy reached out for Carol with one arm while she hugged Therese around the neck with the other. The three of them shared a hug as a family for the first time. Therese closed her eyes and let tears of joy run freely down her face. When she opened them again she saw the same tears running down Carol’s face. Carol held Therese by the hand she had resting on Rindy’s back as she whispered:  _ I love you.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! The wedding chapter is coming soon! I'm going to have 2 weeks off so I'll be able to dedicate time to it. There won't be a new chapter next week because a have a test and I really need to do well... wish me luck!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this one. Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Love you!


	24. Family Love

Therese was the first one to wake up the next morning. She looked at the time. It was 8:00 AM on a Saturday. She decided to let Carol sleep in a little more after her first week back at work. She got out of bed as silently as possible. She walked down the corridor to Rindy’s room to check if she was still sleeping too and was surprised to find her awake in bed playing with some toys.

“Therese!” she said with a smile. 

“Hey there. How you been up long?” asked Therese, half way through the door.

“A little. Is Mommy still sleeping?”

“Yes she is. She deserves a little extra sleep.”

“Come play with me!” asked Rindy pating on the space in front of her.

Therese’s face lit up as she walked to the bed. This moment reminded her of her childhood days at the orphanage playing with the other girls, especially the younger ones. She had missed those happy play times but now, thanks to Rindy, she was going to have plenty more times like these. Rindy introduced her stuffed animals to Therese: a white rabbit with long ears and a floral dress named Daisy, a furry golden lion named Sam, and a giraffe with a hat named Bella. 

“They are all a family,” explained Rindy.

“They are? But they are so different. How are they a family?”

“They were all rejected by their own families. Sam isn’t strong enough to run fast. Daisy hurt her leg and can’t jump high … and Bella isn’t tall enough to reach the higher trees. So they are a family now.”

“I see … Is Bella the mom and Sam the dad?” asked Therese as she took each of them in one hand.

“No! Daisy and Bella are the moms and Sam is the baby. He has two mommies, like me,” replied Rindy with a giggle. 

Therese’s heart felt like exploding. It was unbelievable how well Rindy was taking the news about the wedding and becoming a family. She had worried so much about the idea of Rindy not accepting her; she did spend most of her time with Harge, after all. But all these fears and worries were in the past. She looked at Rindy now and all she could see was a bright future full of love.

“Are you excited about the wedding?”

“Yes! I want to be the flower girl and wear a floral dress just like Daisy and jump, jump, jump,” said Rindy as she made Daisy jump high in the air.

“But I thought you said that she couldn’t jump high …”

“She can now!” Rindy made Daisy bounce even higher in the air.

“You fooled me!” and with that Therese launched herself forwards and started to tickle Rindy all over her body. 

Rindy tried to make Therese stop but her giggles wouldn’t let her. They started to get louder and louder, especially when Therese attacked her tummy. 

“Ssshhhh…! We have to keep quiet or we’ll wake up Mommy.”

“Too late.” 

Therese almost jumped out of the bed. She turned around and saw Carol standing by the door with arms crossed trying to hold a straight face.

“I’m sorry, Carol. I didn’t mean to wake you up. We were …”

“Don’t be mad at Therese, Mommy. I asked her to play with me.” Rindy moved herself to Therese’s lap and hugged her as if to protect her from Carol’s seriousness. 

In that moment, Carol broke her acting and with a huge smile on her face, walked towards them. She sat behind Therese and held her tightly.

“How could I ever be mad? Waking up to your laughs in the morning is the best way to wake up,” said Carol as she kissed Therese on the cheek and caressed Rindy’s face. 

Therese was thankful that both Carol and Rindy were holding her down because otherwise she would have floated away. The family she had lost all those years ago was now holding her together. It wasn’t the family she had expected or had been taught about at all but as Rindy’s toys, she too had come from a broken family. And so did Carol … and Rindy in a way. But each broken piece, as in a puzzle, formed a new family just like Daisy, Sam, and Bella did. 

* * *

After they had lunch, they decided to enjoy the sunny afternoon at Central Park. Carol packed Rindy's bike that she hadn't used in a while. Therese prepared some snacks and cold drinks. She also packed her digital camera; going out was always a good excuse to take more pictures. 

They arrived at a very busy Central Park. There were lots of families who had also decided to enjoy the nice weather outside and were having picnics as well. Carol and Therese walked holding hands while Rindy rode her bike a few feet ahead of them. Therese, with her camera hanging around her neck, would stop every now and then to snap a picture. She had taken a few from Rindy on her bike already. For some not very strange reason she felt inspired by the families around her. She normally would focus on nature but her newfound home had changed her source of inspiration, her focus. All these families were so different from each other, but they all had the same thing in common: love. 

They passed in front of the Alice in Wonderland statue. Therese remembered the first time she had seen it with Dannie and Tom on her birthday. She also remembered the picture she had sent to Carol and how her response had made her feel butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't help but smile while looking at it and thinking how much things had changed since then. 

“Give me your camera, darling,” said Carol, bringing Therese back to reality. 

Therese obeyed and handed it to Carol with a questioning look. She had never seen Carol manipulating a professional camera before.

“Let me adjust it for you ...”

“Are you seriously implying that I don't know how to work a camera? After years of working at your school?” asked Carol, staring at Therese with blue eyes like sharp icicle.

Therese blushed as she tried to excuse herself.

“Rin, go stand next to Mommy,” ordered Carol.

Rin got down from her bike and left it carefully on the ground before she went to Therese and hugged her around the legs. Therese dropped on one of her knees and hugged Rindy closer to her. She could still feel her burning checks when she smiled for the picture. Therese never felt comfortable in front of the camera. The loneliness of her past years had made her hide behind it. But now with Carol and Rindy she didn't feel like hiding anymore. She couldn't wait to be part of more family pictures like this.

After a long walk, the three of them stopped to have the snacks and beverages under a tree. Rindy wanted to know more about the wedding. Carol explained to her that Abby was going to be in charge of mostly everything except for their dresses. Since Abby and Crystal were already planning their future wedding, Abby had made contacts for food catering, flowers, and even an officiant for the ceremony. Abby was efficient like that and she knew Carol trusted her so she did as well. Therese knew she had Dannie and Tom to help her with her part so she didn't have to worry much. Carol said they could get married in two weeks, on the next weekend they'd have Rindy with them. She also told Rindy that it would be best to keep the wedding a secret, especially to Harge. After what had happened last time they saw him, Rindy understood.

On their walk back to the car, Rindy decided to race them with her bike. Despite Carol's warning to be careful, Rindy lost control of the bike and fell to the ground. 

“Mommy!” she yelled between cries.

Therese stood there still waiting for Carol to step forward and go assist Rindy but she was surprised when she didn’t see her move.

“Carol …”

“She said mommy. You better start getting used to it. Now go,” answered Carol with a smile.

Therese run to Rindy who had managed to sit up on the ground and was holding her right elbow. 

“Does it hurt?” she asked as she bent down next to Rindy.

Rindy just nodded, tears still falling down her cheeks. Therese removed Rindy's hand to look at her elbow. It was starting to bleed. She searched her purse for her handkerchief and placed it on the wound. 

“Hold it for me, OK? Let's get up.”

Therese carefully helped Rindy up. She noticed that the right leg had some minor scratches from the fall, too but nothing serious. By that time Carol was already standing next to them. She picked the bike with one hand. 

“Mommy … I can't walk,” said Rindy between sobs. 

“Yes you can, Rin. It's just a fall,” replied Carol. 

Rindy looked at her on the verge of crying again. 

“It's OK, Rindy. I'll carry you,” said Therese picked her up and held her close to her.

“I see how things are going to be …” said Carol, giving Therese a side wink.

* * *

 

Later at home, Therese cleaned Rindy's bruises and helped her get a bath before dinner. Carol asked her if she wanted to read Rindy a story but she told her she should do it. Therese knew how precious these moments with Rindy were to Carol and how fast Rindy was growing up. There wouldn't be many more stories before bedtime for Carol to enjoy. 

After brushing her teeth, Therese stared at her own reflection in the mirror while she brushed her hair and let her mind wander. _How did I get so lucky?_ she asked herself. When she looked at herself she didn't see that young, naive, lonely and lost girl she was just a year ago. Now she was found, and she was loved. Her life was going to change so drastically in two weeks. She’d become a wife and a mother before 20 but she had never felt more sure about anything in her life. She knew this had been the plan all along. Meeting Carol that night on the bus, enrolling at that particular school; everything had led to this moment. It felt now as she could finally make peace with her painful past for it had brought her to her Carol.

Carol appeared behind Therese. She embraced Therese by her waist and rested her chin on Therese’s shoulder as they looked at each other in the mirror. 

“Thank you,” said Therese looking at Carol’s eyes.

“For what, angel?”

“For today … for the family you’re giving me.” 

“I’m the one who has to thank you for walking into my life and showing me what true love is.”

“Oh Carol …” whispered Therese. 

She turned around and held Carol’s face with both hands. She looked at those blue eyes that she knew would only turn a shade darker because of her. She kissed her passionately as her hands searched for the rim of Carol’s t-shirt to pull off. Next were Carol’s jeans which joined the t-shirt on the bathroom floor. Carol took off Therese’s tank top leaving her in her orange knickers. They continued to kiss all the way to the bed, barely making it without tumbling down. Carol pushed Therese to the bed and she landed on her back. Carol quickly followed her as she straddled her around her hips and leaned forward to place open-mouthed kisses on Therese’s jaw. Therese needed to feel Carol’s warm skin against hers so her hands desperately unclipped Carol’s bra. Therese let out a moan when their breasts came in contact, attracted to each other like magnets. 

“Baby, you’ll have to learn to keep quiet or you’ll wake up Rindy,” said Carol as she started her trail of kisses down Therese’s body.

The feel of Carol’s tongue against her skin was driving Therese insane so she closed her eyes and tried to keep as quiet as possible. She let out a whine when Carol removed her underwear, her body anticipating the impossible task to remain soundless. After both women were spent, they stayed wrapped in each other’s arms. Therese felt her eyelids getting heavier against Carol’s chest.

“Would you like to have more children?” asked Carol out of the blue, taking Therese by surprise.

“I haven’t thought about it honestly … would you?” Therese looked up to Carol to make the question. 

“Yes I would … with you,” she answered with a smile.

“Me too.”

“And would you like to experience pregnancy?”

“I’m not sure … it scares me really but I’d do it for you.”

“No, angel. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t feel prepared.”

“And what about you?”

“Me? I’m getting a little old for that. It might not work. I lost two babies before I had Rindy and I couldn’t go through that again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Carol. I didn’t know,” said Therese as she held Carol tighter. 

“It’s fine.”

“We could adopt,” added Therese after a few seconds. “I grew up dreaming of the day a family would come to the orphanage and pick me. I’d get jealous at the younger girls who would leave with a new mother and a father. I was older so nobody wanted me.”

“Oh my angel, don’t say that. How could anybody not want you?” asked Carol as she caressed Therese’s cheek and looked at her with watery eyes.

“I’m glad they never picked me … or I wouldn’t be here right now in your arms. You are the family I always dreamed of, Carol.”

* * *

Sunday was spent with the three of them laughing and playing until the time came for Rindy to be picked up. Harge texted Carol to let her know he would be coming shortly. Therese felt panic starting to grow. Harge still had that effect on her.

“I think I should go before he arrives.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Therese. This is your home. You stay.”

There swallowed the ball that was her fear down her throat. She knew she’d have to face him again sooner or later. The doorbell rang. While Carol walked to the door, Therese bent down to help Rindy with her bag.

“Remember our secret. Next time we see each other will be extra special. I love you,” said Therese and placed a kiss on Rindy’s forehead. 

Therese got right on her feet as she heard Harge’s steps coming closer. She tried to keep calm.

“What is she doing here, Carol?” asked Harge when he saw Therese standing in the living room next to Rindy.

“Therese lives here now,” replied Carol, standing opposite to him with her arms crossed. 

Therese could feel the tension growing in the room. She remained silent, staring at the floor. 

“So you’re a _thing_ now?” asked Harge dispectfully. 

“Yes, Harge. We are together and that’s none of your business.”

“It is when it comes to Rindy. I’m not going to let a stranger near my daughter. She might have fooled you to get her Green Card but she’s not going to fool me …”

“Enough!” yelled Therese. She gave a step forward and looked Harge in the eye for the first time.  “You’re talking as if I’m not here. I love Carol with all my heart and that’s the truth. And I also love Rindy, your daughter. None of this was planned; it just happened. I’m not going anywhere so we should get used to seeing each other … and I think you’re not in a position to argue.” 

Therese could feel a heat all over her body. She didn’t know where the courage to confront Harge had came from but she was glad she finally was standing tall in front of him. He had insulted Therese by making her look like a liar, a scammer who just wanted Carol to stay in the country. And she was no stranger to Rindy, she was her _mommy_ but she knew she couldn’t say it, not yet. She had a family now and she would protect it no matter what. 

“Let’s go, Rindy,” said Harge with a trembling voice. 

He looked different from the man who had stepped into the room just a few minutes ago. Therese smiled to herself. She turned around and got to her knees to say goodbye to Rindy.

“See you soon, little one,” said Therese before she hugged her. 

Carol joined her on the floor.

“Goodbye my sunshine. I love you so so much.”

The three of them shared a hug with Rindy in the middle.

“Goodbye, Mommy,” she said to both of them.

* * *

The next couple of days passed very quickly with all the wedding preparations. She, Dannie and Tom went out in search of the dress one day. Therese knew she wanted a long simple white dress. Tom took them to different places until they found the perfect dress. She asked Dannie to keep it at his place to prevent Carol from seeing it. She knew she would ask Abby to do the same with hers. On another day, Abby took Carol and Therese to go cake tasting with her. They decided on a red velvet wedding cake with vanilla filling. Later that day they went to pick out Rindy’s dress. She had told them that she wanted it to have flowers on it so they followed her instructions. Carol had one last surprise for Therese, as she always did. She had managed to get a week off work to go on their honeymoon. She had bought tickets for the two of them to Hawaii. 

 

Everything was ready for the big day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves, I'm finally back! Since I didn't want to leave you without an update for two weeks I made this little chapter before the big one. Hope you enjoyed more of these family moments between Carol, Therese and Rindy.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts as always!
> 
> Love, v


	25. Everything Comes Full Circle

Therese, Carol, and Rindy arrived at Abby’s beach house a little past noon. The car was fully packed with the suitcases that they would be taking to their honeymoon the following day. Therese was happy to see that Dannie and Tom had already arrived. After they greeted everybody, Abby walked Carol and Therese upstairs to their respective bedrooms where they would be getting ready separately for the ceremony to keep the surprise for both of them. Carol took the master bedroom while Therese got the same room she had slept in the first time she had visited there. She walked in and the first thing she saw was the box containing her wedding dress sitting at the end of the bed. Her heart started to beat fast. In just a matter of hours she would be wearing it in front of the love of her life. She tried to imagine what Carol would be wearing and she couldn't keep herself from smiling.

“Hey there, Terry. How are you feeling?” asked Dannie joining her. 

“I’m nervous … excited. I can’t wait to marry her, Dannie.”

Therese  sat down on the bed next to the box. Dannie sat on the other side of the bed. Both of them couldn’t keep their eyes off the white box with a red bow on top. Therese let out a sigh before she continued.

“This is all I ever wanted, Dannie. All I ever dreamed of. I always wanted to belong somewhere and Carol is all that and more. She’s the family I never thought I wanted. I just want to spend every day with her for the rest of my life.” 

At the lack of response, Therese looked up to Dannie to find him with a hand covering his mouth trying to hold back the tears that were already starting to fall. She reached out to him with a worried face.

“Oh Dannie, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Terry. Weddings make me so emotional and hearing you talk … I’m so happy for you. I love you so much. You know you’re like the sister I never had.”

“And you’re the brother that I never had.”

“I want you to be happy and I know that Carol is the happiness you’ve always wished for. I’m so glad to be able to witness this special day. You’ve come so far!”

“I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for your love and support. You taught me to be me. You were there when I was at my lowest and you kept up with me. Words aren’t enough to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” 

They hugged and stayed like that until Rindy came into the room.

“Mommy …” Rindy stopped in her tracks when she saw that Therese wasn’t alone. She stood there looking at them with a shy smile. 

“Come Rindy, it’s OK.” Therese made a gesture with her hand to invite Rindy to join her. Therese put her on her lap. “Let me introduce you to Dannie. He’s my best friend. He’s like my brother. Before I moved in with your mother, we used to live in the same building.

“Hi Rindy,” said Dannie as he extended his hand to Rindy. 

Rindy looked at Therese for a second and when she got a smile in return she shook Dannie’s hand.

“Dannie is a hair stylist. He’s going to fix my hair today. Why don’t you ask him if he can do yours as well?”

“Can you do my hair, please?” asked Rindy shyly.

“Of course I can. How do you want it?” asked Dannie in return.

“I like braids … and flowers. I’m the flower girl,” she said proudly with a smile.

“Oh really? That’s a very important job. I can think of adding some flowers to your braids, how about that?”

“YES! YES! I like it,” replied Rindy with excitement. Her shyness towards Dannie quickly began to fade away.

“Can I wear flowers in my hair, too?” asked Therese, looking at both Rindy and Dannie with a smile.

“Yes, Mommy!”

“We’ll have to ask Abby for more flowers then.”

* * *

The three of them headed downstairs to find the rest of the group outside so they joined them. She was glad the wedding wasn’t going to be until a few hours later. The day was sunny and hot at the moment but she knew it would be perfect by sunset. Therese went to Carol who was standing with her back towards her. Therese hugged her from behind. They were all looking at the beautiful arrangements Abby had done for the wedding. The path that led to the beach now had a long white carpet that ended some feet away from them at the [small altar](https://www.orangebeachgulfshoresweddings.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Sunset-Beach-Wedding-Orange-Beach-AL.jpg) made of bamboo pillars with white sheets hanging around it like a tent. There was a small table in the center. There were white chairs on both sides of the carpet. Abby had also included [lamps with candles](https://media.brides.com/photos/5cef2592fa4c84dd30c029f2/master/w_854,c_limit/jennifer-and-michael-wedding22.jpg) inside and white balloons attached to them to lit the path. To the left was a [table](http://www.hamptons.com/gallery/article/10487.jpg) set with white clothes and candles. There were sets of torches all around. Everything looked like a dream. 

“Abby, Crystal … this is beautiful. I have no words,” said Therese.

“It’s beautiful. I don’t know how to thank you, Abby,” added Carol.

“It was nothing, you nitwit. We were already preparing ours,” said Abby.

“Plus it’s like a test and drive for us...I hope the catering will be good,” added Crystal and they all shared a laugh. 

“Do you also want to organize our wedding?” asked Dannie holding closer to Tom.

“Is there something in the air that everybody’s getting married?” joked Abby.

“Don’t worry Abby, he hasn’t popped the question yet but maybe now he will.”

They all said _oooohh_ out loud while looking at Dannie who tried to brush it off.

“I see, I see … peer pressure.”

Therese couldn’t contain her happiness. The idea of all her dearest people getting married and sharing their lives together made her feel excited. She wished they would spend weekends like this together as a big family. She held Carol tightly in her arms.

 

They all enjoyed a light lunch by the shade provided by Abby’s back porch. They shared more laughs together. At some point during the conversation Therese stopped paying attention. She had her head towards the ocean but she was looking at it with idle eyes. 

“Therese, are you OK?” asked Carol who was sitting next to her on the couch.

“Yes, yes. Sorry. What were you saying?” asked Therese trying to engage back with the conversation. 

“Dannie asked you if he should do Rindy’s hair first.”

“Oh yes, of course. Yes.”

Carol kept looking at Therese with a concerned look. Abby saw it too. 

“What if Crystal and I show you two the beach while the sun is still up?” proposed Abby to Dannie and Tom.

“That sounds great,” said Dannie looking at Therese who was now concentrated playing with her engagement ring.

“Would you come with us, Rindy?”

“Yes, Auntie Abby!”

They all got up except for Carol and Therse who remained seated on the couch. They watched them as they walked out of sight.

“What’s wrong, angel?” asked Carol taking one of Therese’s hands in hers.

“Nothing, really,” replied Therese still looking away from her.

“Are you having second thoughts on the wedding? It’s fine, dear. We can can-...”

“It’s not that!” 

They stayed in silence for a few minutes. Carol was still holding her hand. Therese took a deep breath before she continued.

“It’s just that … what if this doesn’t work and I still have to leave?”

“My love, that’s not going to happen.”

“But it’s a possibility, isn’t it?”

“I mean … yes. But I have a very good lawyer who helped me with the divorce and I know he will help us with this process.”

“But still, that’s not him who I have to convince. I know, I read about this. What if they don’t believe me, Carol?” Therese finally turned to face her. She had tears in her eyes.

“Oh my angel. They will because I know that the love you feel for me is as strong and honest as the one I feel for you. And together we’ll go through this. It won’t be easy, no. But love will get us through.”

“I just don’t want to lose you … or Rindy. I love you so much, like I never did before.”

“I know you do, my angel. I never loved like this before, either.” Carol took Therese’s face in both hands and kissed her. 

“Everything is going to be fine, angel. Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, Carol,” said Therese with a smile. How could she not trust those ocean blue eyes looking at her with so much love.

“Good. Let’s enjoy tonight, then. With our loved ones.”

“With our family.”

They stayed in each other’s arms until the others came back. The mood between Carol and Therese had noticeably changed. Everything was good again.

“All right then … who’s ready to get married?” asked Abby with a smile looking at the brides to be.

“ME! ME!” said Rindy jumping excitedly.

“And who are you going to marry? Come here,” said Carol. Rindy ran to her mother’s free side on the couch.

“Dannie!”

“Dannie?” asked Therese looking at him.

“And Tom …” added Rindy.

“But you do know they are together, sunshine.”

“I know Mommy, it’s just pretend!”

“Oh good because I’m not ready to see you marrying anyone just yet. You’re still my little sunshine.”

“And mine,” said Therese. 

“OK, OK. Let’s start getting ready before this gets any cuter,” joked Abby. “Come with me, Carol. You too, Rindy. Dannie, take your bride. Crystal and Tom will stay here waiting for the catering people to arrive … oh and the officiant. Up! Up!” 

* * *

After a relaxing bath, Therese stepped out and put on a robe. Dannie was waiting for her to do her hair. It had gotten long enough to be able to braid it and put it in a [low bun](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/39/67/19/3967190d28a2a0a326ab0bdcc0da6012.jpg). He added some white flowers to match with the dress. Therese did her own makeup by keeping it simple: some mascara, blush, and pink lipstick. She knew she would mess it up crying later anyway. Dannie helped her with the dress. It was a long [white dress](https://media.frenchconnection.com/ms/fcuk/71jnr-womens-fu-summerwhite-palmero-embellished-wedding-dress.jpg?404=fcuk/71jnr.jpg&width=1024&height=1537) with embroidery on the top part and laced short sleeves. It was simple but very romantic – just how Therese had wanted it. She decided not to wear shoes since they would be on the beach, after all. She looked at herself in the mirror and she fell speechless with the woman looking back at her; because that’s how she felt: _a woman._ She wished that her parents could be with her right now and share her happiness but she knew they were, she could feel them in her heart. She pinned her mother’s [rose pin](https://tcprd-tdcdn.netdna-ssl.com/rose-gold-metal-rose-lapel-pin-248150-505-800-0.jpg) to her dress. _Something borrowed._ She picked up her bouquet made of light blue [Hydrangea flowers](https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/common-wedding-flowers-hydrangea-1.jpg). _Something blue._

They waited until Abby came in and told them to come down. Carol was already waiting for her at the altar with everybody else. 

“I’m gonna go now so you can do your entrance. I’m so proud of you, Terry.” 

Therese waited a few minutes before she began her way down. She had to hold on to the stair railing tight for her legs felt like jell-o underneath her. She could hear her heart beating fast and loud. The house was empty and silent. She saw Rindy waiting by the door that led outside. She was wearing her [floral dress](http://www.girlsdressline.com/image/cache/data/Vendor/GG/3526/GG-3526-DR-1000x1500.jpg) with her hair done like hers. She was holding a little basket with flower petals.

“Mommy, you look so pretty.”

“So do you, little one. Now go! Let’s not make them wait any longer.” 

 

She watched as Rindy walked through the carpet leaving a path of colorful petals behind her. Therese took one last deep breath before she stepped out. The white carpet was now illuminated by the lit candles. As she walked, she tried to match her pace to the rhythm of the [music playing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK7w93sjl8w) in the air. Every step was bringing her closer to her love, Carol. She was standing there at the altar wearing [white embroidered pants and a matching shirt](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/7c/6a/a1/7c6aa1abf9c36a648f40d3771ab9aa99.jpg). She had chosen a pair of white flat sandals for her feet. She looked breathtaking as she always did. When she finally reached Carol, she reached for her hand and squeezed it. She looked to her right and saw the other loves of her life … and she also saw _you._

“You look beautiful,” whispered Carol with the brightest smile.

“So do you.”

Both women turned to the officiant as a sign for the ceremony to begin.

“We gather here today, in the presence of family and close friends to join Carol and Therese in matrimony. We celebrate the coming together in love of these women. We remember that marriage is a time when growing love is made public, when two people share mutual promises. We join in our support of them as they offer themselves to each other. We celebrate their joy, their love, and their expectations …”

Therese could barely listen to the words the officiant was saying. She looked at Carol’s eyes which were casting a light of their own. It was as if they were communicating in silence, in a language only they could understand. Carol smiled.

“May you always need one another, not so much to fill the emptiness as to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with each other, and not fail in the little graces. Look for things to praise, often say 'I love you' and take no notice of small faults. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another,” continued the officiant.

Therese could see the sun coming closer to the ocean against the pink/violet colored sky. It was more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. This moment would be forever treasured in her heart.

“Will you, Therese, have Carol to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort and keep her, and forsaking all others remain true to her as long as you both shall live?"

“Yes I will.”

“And will you, Carol, have Therese to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort and keep her, and forsaking all others remain true to her as long as you both shall live?"

“I will.”

“May we please have the rings?”

Abby stood up and went to Carol’s side holding a little pillow with the golden rings on them. They were engraved on the inside. _Everything comes full circle._ She grabbed one and she put it on Therese’s finger as she repeated the officiant’s words.

“I give you this ring. As I give you myself. With love and affection. Wear it in peace always.”

When it was Therese’s turn, she handed the flowers to Abby before taking the remaining ring. She took Carol’s hand with shaky hands and recited the same words as she put the ring on. They held each other hand in hand.

“Inasmuch as you Carol and you Therese have thus consented in matrimony and have witnessed the same before family and friends, by virtue of the authority vested in me as an officiant and the laws of this state, I now pronounce you married. You may seal your marriage with a kiss!”

Carol gave a step forward to close the gap between them. She held Therese’s face gently in her hands. Therese could feel her heart beating out of her chest. Carol leaned closer to her, the tip of their nose’s touching.

“My angel … flung out of space,” she whispered before she kissed Therese. 

The world seemed to go silent. Therese could hear the applause and screams of her friends as from far away even though they were standing right there with her. But that’s what happened everytime Carol kissed her, and this was no ordinary kiss. It was the confirmation of all her wishes. It was a kiss welcoming her to her new life, a new beginning. 

 

After they signed their marriage certificate, they finally joined their loved ones. Dannie had been taking pictures with Therese’s camera while the rest took them with their phones. Carol and Therese posed for some of them alone. By the time they gathered around the table the sun had already set. Only the torches, candles, and the moon were illuminating this special summer night. The catering was on their second round of food and beverages when Abby stood up with a glass of champagne in her hand. 

“I would like to propose a toast. To Carol and Therese. I’ve never seen my dear friend as happy as she is now. I have to confess that I had my doubts at the beginning. I didn’t want to see you hurt again, Carol. But I’m glad that I was wrong. Cheers to you both.”

“Oh, I forgot!” said Therese.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“I’ll be right back.”

Therese went upstairs quickly. She grabbed the photo album she had been keeping for Carol and Rindy all this time. She came back to the table and handed it to Carol. She sat next to her and asked Rindy to sit on her lap.

“I made this album with all the pictures I’ve taken of you, Rindy, and us. I hope they tell our story.”

Carol opened the album and the first picture she saw was the black and white one Therese had taken that afternoon in the park. As she turned the pages she saw the pictures from their first Christmas and New Year’s Eve together; the picture Therese had taken of her sleeping after their first time together. She had also included the pictures from Rindy’s birthday party and the weekends they had recently spent together as a family. There were pages left blank. Carol looked at Therese with teary eyes.

“We will continue to fill those pages together,” explained Therese.

“This is beautiful. Thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You’re always doing things for me. That’s the least I could do.”

“I love you. I’d do anything for you, and for Rindy.”

“And I love you both so much,” said Therese placing a kiss on top of Rindy’s head. 

* * *

The night continued with more drinks, laughs, and dancing. Therese had never had more fun in her life. She had always been insecure about her dancing skills but that night she let herself completely go. She danced with everybody. She felt herself floating in a cloud of happiness. They cut the 2 tier [cake](https://static.onefabday.com/2015/02/Delicous-two-tier-buttercream-wedding-cake-with-cake-flowers.jpg) together and they even had a little food fight when Carol decided to spread some icing on Therese’s face. Once everybody was sufficiently tired they all headed to their respective rooms. Carol and Therese took the master one, while Abby, Crystal and Rindy took the one Therese had been in, and Dannie and Tom the remaining one. 

Once in their bedroom and encouraged by the alcohol, Therese started to undress Carol slowly, piece by piece. She took her time and Carol did the same with her. That night Therese made love to Carol claiming every inch of her body as hers with her mouth: her soft lips, her sculpted back, her breasts, her taste. 

“This is my favorite part,” said Therese resting her head against Carol’s chest as she always did.

“Which part?”

“Right here.” Therese lifter her head a little and with her fingers she softly touched where her head had just been. She could still feel the warmth. 

“And why is that?” asked Carol, searching for Therese’s eyes.

“Because … I can hear your heart beating ...” she replied, looking into Carol’s eyes. “For me.” 

And she let Carol possess her body as the rightful owner she had always and would always be. For that red thread that had connected them and brought them together in the beginning had only grown tighter around them. A thread that would never break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear loves, this is it. This is the chapter some or maybe all of you have been long waiting for. I took my time to write this one because I wanted to make it a gift to all of you. Thank you all so much for your comments, love and support. We wouldn't have made it this far. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it :)
> 
> I always love and enjoy reading your comments, don't make this one the exception ;)
> 
> PS: This is not the ending 
> 
> Love, V


	26. Honeymoon

Carol and Therese landed in Maui, Hawaii late in the afternoon. The flight from New York City had been around nine hours long. When they finally arrived at the hotel, they were welcomed with the signature Hawaiian flower necklace that Therese had seen many times in movies growing up. A beautiful young lady dressed in a typical outfit put a [purple flower necklace](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/99/a6/19/99a6199ea579371a15fc2e9c7370545d.jpg) on Therese and a red one on Carol. Therese looked at Carol with a big smile; she looked just like a child in a toy shop.

“You look absolutely adorable, you know that?” said Carol as they walked towards reception to get themselves checked in.

Therese blushed at Carol’s comment so in order to hide it she took the chance to wander and look around her. The hotel was a five star oceanfront resort and spa with all the commodities. Therese walked towards the tall windows and glass doors that lead outside. The white walls from the room contrasted with the strong blue coming from outside: the sky and the ocean was one big blue tapestry. She could see swimming pools of different sizes and shapes that seemed to [connect with the ocean](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/Travel/hotels/north-america/hawaii/four-seasons-resort-maui-hawaii-p.jpg). There were a lot of green areas as well, with big tall palm trees all round. Colors seemed to be much brighter and vivid here. Everything was full of life and energy. Therese couldn’t believe she was really there looking at all this beauty. 

“Hey there, ready to head to our room?” asked Carol as she stood behind Therese and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Yes of course. I was just looking at the view… this is like a dream. I can’t believe this is real.”

“Being here with you is a dream. C’mon,  let’s go.”

Their room was on the sixth floor, which was also the last. [The room](https://content.r9cdn.net/rimg/himg/8b/42/5d/leonardo-1081425-Suite_bedroom_hero_S-image.jpg?width=1004&crop=true&caller=HotelDetailsPhoto) was beautifully decorated with white and ochre colors, giving it a cozy feel. There were fresh colorful flowers in the center of the coffee table near the window. Therese left her bags on the floor and walked directly to the large window that lead to the balcony. [The view](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NdiYpr6uznA/maxresdefault.jpg) from this height was even more beautiful than what she had seen downstairs; she had the immensity of the ocean expanding in front of her. She could also see what at first she thought was a mountain but actually was a volcano. She remembered it from the brochure Carol had given her a few days ago. The landscape was breathtaking. _This is what paradise looks like,_ she thought to herself. She turned around to call Carol to join her but she was passed out on the bed. They hadn’t had much sleep the previous night; the excitement and nervousness of the wedding sure had taken a toll on both of them. In addition, and to Therese’s surprise, Carol was extremely scared of flying and she had to take a pill to make the journey more bearable. Therese was so used to seeing Carol strong and fearless that she was secretly happy to see Carol in a more vulnerable state.

Therese thought of the only thing she could do while Carol slept and that was take pictures. She walked into the room again and silently searched for her camera bag. She took some pictures of the room and its beautiful furniture, and she took one of Carol sleeping as well. Once outside, she focused on the nature around her which was so new and different from what she had known most of her life. She took pictures of the North Pacific Ocean which seemed to look different from the Atlantic in that the color of the water was more of an intense blue color. The green was also very intense with all the diverse trees and plants around. She looked up with her camera zoom and was able to see a bright [red bird](https://www.audubon.org/sites/default/files/styles/hero_image/public/a1_2831_3_iiwi_boe_baty_kk.jpg?itok=zvZ9g_Wh) resting on a tree. _Snap._ Therese took the last pictures as the sun started to set. The color of the sky was a mixture between violet, pink, and orange. 

“That’s so… beautiful,” announced Carol from behind looking at the sunset.

“It sure is.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” asked Carol, now standing next to Therese by the balcony railing.

“You looked like you needed to rest. Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, angel. Flying makes me so nervous. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

* * *

 

They freshened up a little before they went downstairs to have dinner. The restaurant had a view of the swimming pool area which was illuminated with torches. They ordered ordered local fish with baked vegetables together with white wine.

“Did you call Dannie?”

“Yes, I texted him to let him know we made it OK. You? Did you call Abby?”

“Yes, she said everything went fine with Harge when she dropped off Rindy.”

“How did he take the news about us?”

“She says he didn’t say anything. Honestly, I don’t know what I prefer. I’ll have to talk to him in person. I know Abby and she knows how to deal with him but I need to do this myself.”

“I know. I think it would be the best thing to do. I can go with you if y-...”

“It’s OK, love. I can do it.” 

Therese noticed that talking about home and Harge had made Carol a little uneasy to the point that she had ordered a second bottle of wine.

“Carol, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m fine, Therese,” replied Carol in a hard tone.

Therese shifted in her seat uncomfortably and turned her head to look outside.

“I’m so sorry, my angel. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to say that,” said Carol as she reached out for Therese’s hand across the table. 

They stayed in silence without looking at each other until the waiter came back with an opened bottle of wine.

“Could you charge the bill to our room?” asked Carol.

“Yes of course, madam. What’s your number?”

“Uhm… it’s …”

“623. Ross-Belivet,” interjected Therese with a shy smile. 

It was the first time that Therese had said their joint names out loud. They had decided to keep their last names for different reasons: Carol had just recently changed hers back to her maiden name and she wanted to avoid going through the process again; and she also wanted to start building her new career with it. Therese, on the other hand, didn’t want to lose the one thing that kept her connected to her family and her roots.   

“Perfect. Have a good night,” announced the waiter before he turned around and left.   

Therese looked at Carol again and she winked at her. 

“Let’s go,” said Carol as she stood up and grabbed the bottle of wine.

“Where are we going, Carol?”

“Please, just follow me,” said Carol with a warm smile.

* * *

They headed outside to the path that took them to the beach. The beach was empty and silent except for the sound of the crashing waves. The moon was shining bright in the night sky. They walked hand in hand until they reached the wooden lounge beds lined side by side on the sand. Carol sat on one of them covered with a soft white mattress. Therese was making her way to the one next to hers.

“You don’t have to sit there.” 

Therese looked at her and saw Carol making room for her by resting on her side. Therese stood up and went to her to lie next to her. The chair was wide enough to fit them both comfortably. 

“Let’s play a game,” said Carol taking a sip from the wine bottle.

“What?”

“Let’s ask each other questions that we’ll have to answer honestly.”

“OK. I’ll start. Have you been to jail?” asked Therese.

“Nooo! Have you stolen anything?”

“Once – I stole a chocolate bar from one of the nuns who kept it in the pantry. The girl who slept in the room with me found the wrapping paper and called me off. I got into big trouble. Have you had surgery?”

“Just the time I got appendicitis and they had to remove it. Have you gotten it?”

“No but I did get chickenpox. One of the new girls had it and we all got it. I have a small scar on my forehead. Was Harge your first boyfriend?”

“No. My first real one was Mike. We were in our first year of college. He broke up with me after six months together. I was so heartbroken that Abby invited me to spend the summer with her and her parents. That’s when …”

“When you slept together that one time.”

“Yes … but that’s not the truth. We slept together more than once throughout that summer.” 

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me that the first time?,” asked Therese, raising her voice as she sat up.

“I don’t know… I didn’t want you to feel different about Abby with her being your teacher at the time. I’m sorry, I know I should have told you the whole story back then.”

Therese stayed in silence looking at the waves crashing on the shore and for some reason she felt them crashing in her heart. The idea that Carol and Abby had been together longer made Therese feel hurt, and somewhat betrayed. Although it had ended a long time ago, she couldn’t stop wondering why Carol hadn’t been honest with her when she had always been with her. Carol knew everything about her life but Therese realised she still had so much more to learn about Carol. 

“Therese, talk to me,” pleaded Carol taking one of Therese’s hands.

“I’m too tired, Carol. I’m going to head back to the room,” said Therese and she stood up.

 

She didn’t turn around for she didn’t want Carol to see her starting to cry. She made it to the room between sobs. She took her dress off and changed into her pajamas and turned off the lights before she went to bed. She was woken up an hour later by the sound of a bang and Carol’s voice saying _Fuck!_ Therese stayed still on her side, pretending to be asleep. She felt Carol lying on the other side of the bed. None of them reached out for the other.

* * *

Therese woke up with the first rays of the morning sun. She slowly turned around in the bed and found Carol sleeping face down in her underwear. Therese thought she’d let Carol sleep longer after having drank a little too much the previous night. She got out of bed and looked through her suitcase and put on some shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers. She picked up her camera and before leaving she left a note on the bed _I went for a walk. -Therese._ She knew she needed some time alone to think about what Carold had told her last night and most importantly, get over it. She couldn’t change what had happened between Carol and Abby but she could choose not to let something that had happened so long ago affect her and their relationship. She loved Carol more than anything.

She went down the same beach path she and Carol had walked at night. Now that it was daytime she could appreciate the beauty of the nature around her. There were so many colorful [bushes](https://andyoucreations.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/bird-of-paradise-flower-240160_1920.jpg) and [flowers](https://pixfeeds.com/images/flowers/plumerias/1280-660601872-plumeria-flowers.jpg) on her path. She took her time to capture each of them with their details and texture. She continued her walk to the beach. After taking a large amount of shots of the ocean water, the waves and the sand, she noticed more flora growing by the rocks.

The landscape was so vibrant and inspiring that Therese lost track of time. She made her way back to the room feeling much better than when she had left earlier. She entered the room quietly but was surprised not to find Carol still in bed. She could hear the shower running in the bathroom. She knew they’d have to talk later but right now all she could think about was getting in the shower with Carol. She had missed her touch so badly the previous night and this morning she couldn’t stand the coldness of their distance a second longer. 

She got rid of her clothes quickly and headed to the bathroom. She opened the door and could see Carol inside the [walk-in shower](https://www.showerstoyou.co.uk/uploads/product/zoom_Kudos_Ultimate2_Three_Sided_1700mm_Walk-in_Shower_Enclosure_40007_864344348.jpg). It was very spacious with the shower head hanging from the ceiling and glass doors. Carol had her back to Therese therefore she didn’t see or hear her approaching and opening the shower door.

“Therese! You scared me!” She looked at Therese head to toe with a confused look on her face followed by a surprised one when she realized Therese was naked. “What are you doing?” she continued when she saw Therese stepping in and closing the door behind her.

“Can’t I just share a shower with _my wife?_ ” replied Therese as she closed the gap between them. 

Therese placed one hand on Carol’s back and pulled her closer to her. She shivered at the feel of their skin touching. They were both standing directly under the running shower head which was set at a light pressure, making it feel like a light summer rain. Therese looked right into Carol’s eyes, their noses barely touching. She could hear Carol’s breathing becoming heavier… _Is she trembling?_ Therese knew she was now in full control of the situation and Carol was waiting for her to make the next move. Therese, not wanting to let Carol wait any longer, crashed her lips against hers passionately. With her free hand she held Carol’s wet hair by the back to keep her face closer to hers. They kissed until they couldn’t breathe anymore. Next, Therese still holding Carol by the back, walked her backwards until Carol hit one of the shower walls with her back; a small gasp escaped her lips. Then, Therese grabbed her by both of her wrists and pinned them above Carol’s head. She started to attack her jawline first to then continue with her neck. She kissed and sucked on the soft skin, aware of the marks that would appear later. Carol seemed to enjoy the intensity of Therese’s kisses for her growing moans were matched with _yesses._ Therese took one of Carol’s breasts with her right hand for support and continued her kissing and sucking on her nipple. She did the same with the other one. Once Therese was sure Carol was ready for her, with the same free hand and the other still holding Carol against the wall, she made her way between Carol’s thighs. She rested her head on Carol’s shoulder to kiss her as her fingers massaged her folds and clit. Therese could hear Carol’s heart beating faster and her breathing louder. 

“Please… Therese,” she whispered next to Therese’s face.

Knowing exactly what she was pleading for, Therese slid two fingers inside of Carol and started to build a rhythm with every thrust. With her free hand, Carol clawed her manicured nails on Therese’s back and held on to her as neared her climax. Therese felt a jolt of pain but it only made her feel more aroused. She had never seen Carol coming undone this way before. She searched for Carol’s dark blue eyes again.

“I love you,” whispered Therese as she increased the rhythm to bring Carol over the edge. 

Carol bent over her shoulder as she came hard as she screamed her name. Therese held her tight for support while her body trembled violently. She waited until Carol slowly came back to her senses and was able to stand by herself again. She removed her fingers from inside Carol and licked them clean in front of her. She stepped back from Carol to stand under the showerhead to cool down the animal she had become just minutes before. Carol was still against the wall trying to recover herself completely. Therese soaped herself quickly and rinsed before she stepped out of the shower, leaving Carol behind. She tied a towel around herself and walked to the bed. She sat on the end to wait for Carol. 

“Therese…that was… insane. But I’m confused. What's going on?” she asked as she stood in front of Therese with a white robe on. 

“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did last night but the truth is that it hurt to hear that you hadn’t been completely honest with me about you and Abby.”

“I’m so sorry, Therese. I was a coward back then for not telling you. I was just scared that you’d feel overwhelmed by all of it. I wanted to take things slow. But I promise you that I’ll never hide anything from you again. I love you, my angel,” said Carol as she leaned forward and placed both hands on Therese’s cheeks. 

“And I love you. My feelings for you or Abby haven’t changed. What happened between the two of you was a long time ago. I know how much she means to you and I’d never get in the middle of your friendship. I’ll always be thankful to her for what she did for our wedding.”

“And I thought I couldn’t love you even more…” said Carol with a smile before she pushed Therese to the bed and kissed her.

“Carol… we should get breakfast before it’s too late,” interrupted Therese, trying to set herself free from Carol’s kisses. 

“All right, then. But you’re not getting free of me tonight,” replied Carol with a wink.

“Like I’d want it any other way.”

* * *

They enjoyed the rest of the day at the [beautiful beach](https://www.leeabbamonte.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/IMG_1836.jpg). Therese not being a swimmer, she spent most of the time relaxing in her chair under the sun watching Carol swim. She was a great swimmer. Therese could spend hours watching Carol and her golden hair sparkling under the sun, her red swimsuit enhancing her body. Therese found herself having to remind herself to swallow more than once. Carol got out of the water and started to walk like a supermodel towards her. Therese noticed that both men and women were looking at this breathtaking sculpture of a woman that was Carol. Men most probably wanted to be with Carol whereas women wanted to be like Carol and Therese couldn't blame them. When Carol finally approached Therese, she leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. Therese could feel that all eyes were on them. And she could also feel her cheeks burning hotter than the sun. Carol sat on the chair next to Therese’s and closed her eyes with a cheeky smile on her face. _She did that on purpose,_ thought Therese. But she knew that Carol had done it to show all these people who owned her heart and Therese felt like the luckiest girl on the planet. She still couldn’t believe that she was married to the most gorgeous woman.

Later that night after dinner they enjoyed the show by [Drums of the Pacific Luau](https://drumsofthepacificmaui.com/) which consisted of live percussions and typical Hawaiian dances including fire torches. Therese was captivated and delighted by the show; she had never seen anything like this. Towards the end, the dancers invited the audience to join them in a dance. One of the female dancers passed in front of them and Carol had to push Therese for her to join them. They put a flower necklace on her before they started to teach her the moves. She looked at Carol who was looking back at her with a wide smile while taking pictures. Despite dancing not being her greatest strength, Therese did a decent job and she thanked Carol internally for making her do it. 

The following days passed very quickly. Carol had booked different activities for them to join while in Maui. They visited the [Glass-Bottom Boat Reef Exploration Tour](https://www.google.com/search?q=glass-bottom+boat+reef+exploration+tour&rlz=1C1SQJL_enUY844UY844&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjQ0Jrr9KvjAhWHILkGHbWTC7QQ_AUIECgB&biw=1366&bih=625#imgrc=AfPN0d82s9ihzM:), a cruise that went through Maui’s coastline and allowed visitors to watch marine creatures up-close from under water. Therese took hundreds of pictures. Another day, they went horseback riding through a trail along the oceanfront. Therese had never been in front of a horse before let alone ridden one. She was scared at first but with the help of Carol and the guide she picked up the courage and saddled up the calmest horse. They walked through beautiful tropical landscapes, rainforests, and waterfalls. They stopped a couple of times and Therese was able to snap a couple hundred more pictures. On their last day, they enjoyed a relaxing couple’s massage at the hotel’s spa and a romantic dinner at the restaurant. 

“I’m sad we have to go back tomorrow,” said Therese, curled next to Carol in one of the hammocks. They were staring at the sky full of stars.

“Me too. I had the most amazing time and I hope you did, too.”

“Carol, this was a dream come true. I’d have never imagined I’d be coming here. Thank you for giving me the most wonderful week.”

“Thank you for filling each of my days with happiness and love.”

They kissed under the diamond sky and stayed in each other’s arms. At one point, Carol pointed at a shooting star making its way across the sky and asked Therese to make a wish. She wished to spend the rest of her days next to Carol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to give you one last Carol and Therese alone time. I had fun taking a little trip to Hawaii and I hope you did, too. Next chapter will be the last one. I can't believe it. It's been a long way. I will thank you all properly on it. 
> 
> As always, your comments mean the world to me :)


	27. Gold Dust

After Carol and Therese returned home from their honeymoon, they immediately started to focus on Therese’s visa process. One of the first things they had to do was translate Therese’s birth certificate and other documents that had been issued in Czech Republic in order to be valid in English. Since Carol is a U.S. citizen herself, she filed the first required forms in order to start Therese’s adjustment of status from immigrant to permanent residence. Within a couple of weeks they received a letter from the Department of Homeland Security notifying them that their application had been received. Both Carol and Therese knew that this petition could take up to six months to process, so all they could do was be extremely patient and wait for the next appointment to take place. 

 

  
The seasons changed and the green leaves from the trees turned into yellow, red and brown. Fall would always be a special to Therese: it was the season in which she had first arrived in New York City a year ago. It was the season that had brought her Carol.  _ A year ago... _ whispered Therese as she stood by the bedroom window holding her warm coffee in her hands. She looked at the tiny people on the streets below moving in all directions like ants and Therese wondered if their past year had been as life changing as hers. Did they find the love of their lives? Or maybe did they lose it? Have many are fighting for their dream? Therese would get herself caught in her thoughts every time she was left alone in the house. Carol was thriving at her new job, so much that she’d sometimes spend longer hours at work. There were even a few weekends in which she had to travel not very far away to get a look at some art pieces in person. Therese was so happy for her success, but she couldn’t help feeling very lonely most of the time. Carol would always make it up to her for the time apart by taking her out for dinner dates, museums and walks. One weekend while Carol was away, Therese called Dannie to spend the weekend with him instead of being alone in the house. She had seen little of Dannie in the past months so she really needed to spend time with him. 

“So how’s the married life going?” asked Dannie as they had Chinese for dinner.

“Great…”

“But…?”

“It’s just that I spend most of the time alone in the house. Carol has been working very hard and I’m so proud of her. I wish I had a job to keep me busy, too.”

“And you will, Terry. Just try to be a little more patient. These things can take a lot of time. Meanwhile, why don’t you work on your portfolio? Once you get your work permit and start applying for jobs you’ll have an impressive amount of picture to show. Go out and explore the city with your camera.”

“You know, that sounds like a great idea!”

“And how are things with Harge?”

“They aren’t the best but they aren’t bad, either? We exchange a couple of words every time he drops or picks up Rindy. Carol spoke with him after we came back from the honeymoon. He wasn’t very happy with our wedding as we expected. Rindy told us that he has been bringing a woman home but she doesn’t like her.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s so… anyway, let’s change the subject. What about your hair?”

“What about it?” asked Therese looking at it.

“It’s super long, almost as long as you had it when I first met you.”

Dannie was right. Therese hadn’t cut her hair since that first time Dannie did, a year ago. It was way past her shoulders now and she wore it in a bun most of the time to keep it out of her way. Maybe it was indeed time for a change. Therese agreed to have Dannie cut it again for her and so he gave her a similar look as he had done the first time: a length above her shoulders and some side bangs. She couldn’t wait to surprise Carol with her new look when she came back from her trip.

 

Therese followed Dannie’s advice to focus on her portfolio like she did a year ago, Therese went out one day to explore the crimson city that was New York in the fall. She spent hours taking pictures in different points of the city where she hadn’t been before. She would no longer focus on the landscape around her but also at the people who were very much part of it, and how diverse they were. One day she discovered the fascinating world of the underground; people coming and going, moving as one big mass but at the same time so distant from each other. The only thing they had in common was a destination. All these people had different stories, different lives, different burdens. Therese felt compelled to capture all of these things that made each of them unique. She’d visit the underground at different times of the day to observe the changes within the same frame. She thought this would make a nice series of pictures for a possible exhibition at Carol’s workplace. After each photography session, she’d spend the rest of the afternoon editing them. She had become very good at it with time, and to think that she barely knew how to use a computer a year ago. She laughed at the memory.

Besides photography, Therese divided her time watching cooking lessons online to improve her skills that definitely needed a push since she was now more in charge of the house chores. It was a different way to occupy her mind and she found it very relaxing and entertaining as well. She had surprised Carol more than once with elaborate meals such as [Sweet and Sour Chicken](https://www.averiecooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/sweetsourchicken-10-720x540.jpg) or [Pork Chops with Raspberry Sauce](http://images.media-allrecipes.com/userphotos/960x960/3756570.jpg) that Carol would thank Therese with more than praising words.

* * *

* * *

On the weekend prior to Therese’s birthday, Carol proposed Therese to turn the guest room into a darkroom as a birthday present. The room was small, so it wouldn’t take much effort to turn it into Therese’s own space to have her analogue photographs developed there. One of the reasons why she had been using her digital camera more often was the fact that she didn’t need a darkroom to develop them. Therese had missed the thrill of using her analogue camera and its process so the thought of no longer depending on a shop to get the results made her very happy. On that same day, they went shopping together for the things that they’d need: blackout curtains, fans for ventilation, special lights, tanks, reels, trays, etc. They worked together on the heavier parts like setting the tanks, ventilation and reels, and then Therese finished the rest through the following week. She was beyond excited to finally have her own working space. 

The following weekend, they celebrated Therese’s 20th birthday with their loved ones: Abby, Crystal, Dannie and Tom. Therese was very happy to also have Rindy with her for this special day. They had lunch at a very fancy italian restaurant that Carol had picked. 

It had become a routine for Carol and Therese to spend their time together asking each other the questions that they could possibly get asked in the interview. Carol had told Therese to inspect every inch of their apartment and learn where everything was as if she had put them there herself in the first place. During one of these inspections she found Carol’s journal, the one she had kept during their time apart and that Carol had shown her that night. At first she was hesitant about reading it but her curiosity of knowing all the things Carol had wanted to tell her when they were apart was stronger. She sat on the bed and opened the journal. As she skipped through the pages, she noticed that some of them had smudges, a sign that Carol had been crying while she was writing those words. She stopped at one page near the beginning of the journal.

_ My angel. I miss you. I’ve been missing you all day every day. And I’ve been loving you equally the same. Time does pass extremely slowly and painfully without you to the point I'm no longer aware of night or day. Everything feels still. Each day feels heavier than the last. I haven’t even been out of bed in days. I no longer have a reason to; not even for Rindy. I had to lie to Harge to tell him I was sick and then asked him not to bring Rindy. She can’t see me like this. She deserves a better mother...as you deserve someone better than me, too. Maybe this is all for the best; maybe you’ll find someone who won’t make you suffer as I already do… _

Therese skipped a couple more pages.

_ My angel. I wonder if you hate me more or less by now. Or if you still remember me at all. Maybe it’s best if you have forgotten about me and all the pain I’m probably causing you. Actually, I’m certain of this. Abby told me she saw you at school and you didn’t look well. You’re not the same Therese from a few months ago. You have no idea how much this saddens me. I wish nothing but to put an end to this suffering. I’ve tried many times to break the promise I made and reach out to you. I want to see you, hold you, kiss you. I can’t get any sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I see you and that image soon enough becomes a nightmare. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to continue like this…My heart doesn’t know how to keep beating without you...I love you. _

There were tears running down Therese’s face. Some of those tears joined the ones Carol had cried on the paper all those months ago. As she kept turning the pages, she could see how Carol’s pain changed; it no longer kept her paralized but she was now living with it. The last couple of pages were written at the beach house. Therese read about Carol’s birthday and how she had wished Therese had been there with her. Therese felt bad for missing it since she had wanted to make it as special as Carol made hers. She finally skipped the last page on the journal: the very same page Carol had been writing on the night Therese had entered her room. 

_ Today was the day I had been waiting for, for so long. It feels like ages have passed since I last saw your beautiful face. I could barely keep in my excitement all day. I must have changed outfits so many times. I felt like a teenager again trying to impress. I wanted to impress you. I wanted to look like the same Carol you had fallen in love with and hopefully spark that feeling inside of you again. I was so eager to see you that I almost made the mistake to come up to you before the ceremony started but Abby was wiser (as always) and she made me wait. What could do another couple of minutes? Believe me, they felt like an eternity. So I waited until the room was filled so you wouldn’t see me right ahead. I was so proud to see you up on the stage receiving the recognition for all your hard work but mostly I was glad to see you making it. When you looked at me with those green eyes I had terribly missed, I felt my heart skipping a beat and it started to beat for you again. And as I walked towards you, I felt how the weight from all those months apart from you finally lifting. You were there really there, no longer a dream. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. You looked just like the angel you had always been to me. Or so I believed. After the initial shock of having you in front of me, I was able to see that something had changed. You were distant, even uncomfortable. I felt a pang in my heart. I was relieved when we were interrupted and you had to leave. All of those years of pretending and coping next to Harge hadn’t been enough to prepare me for this n-... _

The sentence had been left unfinished. That’s when Therese had walked in Carol’s room. As if on queue, Therese heard Carol entering the apartment and calling her name. She cleaned her tears but she knew it wouldn’t make a difference, there was no point in hiding it.

“Therese, you’re here… what’s wrong?” Carol’s eyes darted to her journal in Therese’s hand.

“I’m sorry Carol. I didn’t mean to overstep like this but I just…” Therese’s voice broke and she started to cry again.

Carol sat on the bed and took Therese in her arms.

“It’s OK, my angel. I tried many times to throw it away but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It’s now a reminder of what won’t happen ever again. I won’t put us through this pain again.” Carol broke the embrace and looked Therese in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” replied Therese looking back at Carol with teary eyes and a smile.

“Now let’s put this behind us and focus on the now. We still have one last battle to fight together, my love.”

“And we will win,” said Therese as she put her arms around Carol’s neck and kissed her.

 “That we will,” added Carol as she kissed Therese back.

* * *

At the beginning of November, Carol and Therese were finally called in for their interview. They had been anxiously waiting for this day to come for months. This interview was, if not the most important part of the whole permanent residency petition. The assigned officer would make both of the different types of questions about their lives, their relationship, their married life, etc that will have to be answered correctly. If they aren't, the examiner could get the impression that the marriage was done in good faith and the petition for residency could be rejected. Both women felt more than confident about their love and marriage since they had been living together for quite some time now, but it wasn’t themselves they have to convince. Therefore, both of them wore their best dresses and had their hair and makeup done to give the examiner a good first impression. On their way to the interview, Therese spent the car drive in silence looking outside the window.  _ What if I make a mistake and they don’t believe me? I don’t... I can’t go back. This is my home. Carol is my home. I can’t live without her…  _ She discreetly dried a tear falling down her cheek but Carol must have noticed,  _ she always did _ , because she reached for Therese’s hand and held it tightly in hers. She didn’t have to say anything else. They continued to hold hands as they made their way into the Department of Homeland Security’s office despite the looks they received. Therese felt her anxiety growing so she took a deep breath while Carol talk to the receptionist.  _ I can do this. Everything will be fine. We’ll be fine. We love each other. Love always wins...doesn’t it? _

“Therese...are you with me?” asked Carol staring at Therese with a worried look. 

“Yes, I’m here.”

“I need your documents, darling. So they can call us later.”

“Of course, I’m sorry,” replied Therese as she searched for her personal documents in her bag. 

Besides those documents, Carol’s lawyer had recommended to bring a photo album as well, as proof of their relationship. Therese added their wedding and honeymoon pictures to the album she had already made as a gift for Carol to represent their love story. 

After they handed in everything, they walked to the waiting area and sat down on a couch. There were other people waiting with them. Therese could see that these people seemed to be from different countries, with different languages and cultures but yet they all had the same dream in common:  staying in the country. She felt already connected to each one of these strangers for she knew how all their hopes and dreams depended on this day. Because no matter how supporting and loving Carol was, she couldn’t fully understand the fear Therese was feeling at that moment; she’d be the one to pack her things and go. Therese wished that she could have her camera with her to capture this moment filled with all these unsaid stories.

After waiting for what seemed an eternity, Carol was the first one to get called. She gave Therese a warm kiss on her forehead and whispered  _ I love you  _ before she walked away. Now it was just Therese alone in the room. She closed her eyes and started to go through some of her moments with Carol: when they met, their first date, the first time they said  _ I love you _ , all the beautiful moments spent at Abby’s beach house, their breakup… All of these moments had been real and honest, and had shaped Therese into the woman she was today. She remembered the drawing Rindy had given her the last weekend they spent together. She gave it to Therese for ‘ _ good luck’  _ as Rindy told her. Therese took it out from her bag and looked at it: she had drawn the three of them in a park holding hands and with big smiles on their faces. There was a little dog to the left and Therese wondered if Rindy was trying to tell her something and she smiled.  _ If I get my residency, I’m going to get her that dog _ , Therese promised herself. 

“Therese Belivet” a male voice announced. 

Therese looked up and saw a man in a suit and gray short hair standing outside an office door. In that moment, Carol walked past him towards her. Therese put the drawing back in her bag. She took a deep breath before she got up. She walked nervously towards the man waiting for her and as she walked past Carol, she gave her a wink.

“Please take a seat,” said the man as Therese entered the office.

She sat behind the desk as she was told. She looked at the different items spread across the desk: folders with papers inside of them, pens, family portraits and a metallic display with the name  _ R. SMITH  _ engraved on it. __

“So...Mrs. Belivet, shall we begin with the questions?”

“Yes, please,” answered Therese trying to contain her nerves as she looked at him.

“How did you and Mrs. Ross meet?”

“At the photography school I attended last year. She was the Director of the Museum at the time...but actually the first time that I saw her was on a bus.”

“OK...At what point did your relationship transition into a romantic one?” continued the officer.

“Uhhmm, short before last Spring break...that’s when we…,” Therese could feel her cheeks heating up.

“Where did some of your first dates take place?”

“We went to MoMa for my birthday and to its restaurant for dinner. We also visit some nice places in The Hamptons.”

“What was your wedding like? Who attended it?”

“It was at Abby Gerhard’s beach house. She’s a close friend of Carol. We only had our closest friends there: Abby and her fiancé Crystal, and my closest friends Dannie and Tom. Carol’s daughter Rindy was there, too.” The memory of her wedding made Therese’s heart skip a beat.

“Did you bring any pictures?”

“Yes, I did.”

Therese handed the photo album to the interviewer. She watched as he went through the pictures. Now and then he’d ask questions about a particular picture, like when and where it was taken.

“Now...What type of routine do you have at home? Who usually wakes up first?”

“Carol. She has to get up early for work. I try to get up with her but she always tells me to go back to sleep.”

“And which of you likes to cook?”

“We both do but Carol loves making breakfast the most. She always has a smile on her face when she does. I’m trying to get better at it.”

The officer made a couple more questions about their routine before he released Therese. She shook his hand and thanked him with a big smile. She was indeed happy because she had been honest and open with her answers. These were all things and moments she treasured in her heart. This interview had been a good excuse to relive them.

As Therese stepped out of the office, she saw how she got up immediately, a sign she had been nervously waiting for her. She walked to her with the same big smile across her face.

“How did it go?” asked Carol reaching for Therese’s hands.

“Good...very good. Everything’s going to be OK,” answered Therese as she let out a sigh. 

* * *

December arrived and covered the whole city with its white blanket. It had been snowing for weeks which made it difficult to move around the city. Therese spent most of her time inside her dark room trying new developing techniques with the film rolls she had accumulated this far. She tried the [Bleach Bypassing](https://petapixel.com/assets/uploads/2015/10/9.jpg) which produced images which contained both the silver and color dyes left over from the chemical process. She also tried [Cross Processing](https://petapixel.com/assets/uploads/2015/10/3017338315_af4d6fd9d2_z.jpg), a process that gave result images with unnatural saturation and abnormally high levels of contrast. She used the rolls she had taken during the fall to play with the different tones of red and yellow of the tree leaves. These new techniques would keep her locked for hours in her room rather than obsessively checking the mail for any news about her Green Card. She’d check the mailbox every morning after Carol went to work. It was just a week before Christmas so Therese had lost any hope to receive any news by then. She was working on some developings when she heard Carol knock on the door. 

“Angel, I’m home. Can you please come?” Carol announced through the door.

“Give me just a minute,” answered Therese.

She put the picture she was working on out to hang on the reel before she cleaned her hands and came out. She found Carol sitting in the living room with both hands on her knees. She looked nervous. 

“What’s wrong, Carol?”

But Carol didn’t reply, she just looked down at the large white and orange envelope that was sitting on the coffee table. Therese’s eyes grew bigger when they landed on it, too. She stood still without breathing for a few seconds. 

“Come here, Therese,” asked Carol pating at the space on the couch next to her. 

Therese’s legs had never felt heavier before which made the couple of steps to the couch felt like an ordeal. She sat down slowly and carefully as if the envelope would fly away with any violent move. She took a deep breath and grabbed it. She tore the seal flap with shaky hands until it opened. Therese looked at Carol with scared eyes and Carol did the only thing she could: she caressed Therese’s cheek while she whispered  _ I love you.  _ Therese looked down again at the half opened envelope resting on her lap waiting for her to reveal its destiny. She slid one hand inside and carefully took out its content. The first thing she saw was a brochure which read  _ Welcome to the United States. _ She was no longer able to read the rest for her eyes had started to fill up with tears. She took one hand to her mouth to try to quiet her sobs but it was useless with Carol sitting next to her. She felt Carol’s arms wrap around her and that’s when she let herself go. She felt as the weight of all these past months had been lifted off her shoulders. That gray cloud of uncertainty and fear had finally cleared away to let the brightness of her brand new future shine away. 

“Let’s see the rest of it, my baby,” said Carol between sobs. 

Therese managed to compose herself enough to sit back straight and look at the rest of the papers. There was a small envelope the size of a card and Therese took it. There it was between her fingers, the Green Card with her picture and name written underneath  _ PERMANENT RESIDENT. _ She passed the card to Carol with a huge smile despite her falling tears of joy.

“I knew it, my angel. I knew this would happen. You did it!”

“No,  _ we _ did it. I couldn’t have done this without you, Carol. Thank you,” said Therese as she looked straight into Carol’s eyes. 

“You have nothing to thank me for. I married you because I love you, Therese, like I’ve never loved before. I’d marry you again, every day. Our lives are stretched out ahead of us now, like a perpetual sunrise.”

* * *

On Christmas Eve, Carol and Therese decided to go to bed early since they’d have to wake up early on Christmas day to start cooking for the lunch they were going to host for Abby and Crystal. Therese was looking forward to it since it would be her first time in charge of the Christmas meal. She wished Dannie and Tom could come to, but they had already made plans to spend it at Tom’s. It would have been a great occasion to celebrate Therese’s residency all together. They all had been beyond happy when they heard the news that same day. Therese also wished Rindy could be with them as well but Harge was going to take her with him in the last minute to his parents in Florida, as he always did. Therese couldn’t wait to give Rindy her present: a pink Polaroid camera. She had already imagined them taking pictures together and hopefully get her into photography. 

Therese knew how Christmas without Rindy made Carol feel sad even though she tried to hide it. Carol had proposed to watch a movie together before bed so Therese was now curled up next to Carol as they were watching Home Alone which Therese had never seen. Carol told her it was a Christmas classic. Therese did identify herself a little with the young protagonist. Just when the film was about to finish, Carol’s phone started to ring. It was from an unknown number.

“Yes, it’s me. Who’s calling?” asked Carol with a worried face.

Therese couldn’t hear what the other part said; she could only see Carol’s growing worry. 

“What? How...is she OK?” 

“What’s going on, Carol?” whispered Therese. She was starting to grow anxious.

“Yes, yes. We’ll be here. Thank you.” And with that Carol hung up.

“Talk, Carol! What happened?!”

“Harge was arrested at the airport...for fraud. I-...I don’t know much else. He was on his way to Florida with Rindy. An agent is bringing her here...Oh God, my poor girl,” said Carol before she started to cry.

“Carol, she’s going to be fine. She’s a strong girl. Besides, she’ll be here with us. Don’t worry.” It was now Therese’s turn to be strong for Carol and hold her tight. 

They waited for what seemed like ages until there was a knock on the door. Both women went to get the door in their pajamas and robes.

“Mommy!” exclaimed Rindy as soon as the door opened. She run to Carol’s open arms. 

The agent briefly explained that Harge had been arrested for fraud. By the look of the investigation they had on him, he could be sentenced for felony which meant years in prison. The agent didn’t say anymore and left. After that, Carol helped Rindy change into her pajamas before they made it back to bed with Therese. Rindy laid in the middle of both women.

“My sunshine, are you OK?” asked Carol.

“Yes, mommy. Daddy did a bad thing, didn’t he?”

“Yes, my love. He did, and now he is to pay for what he did. Are you scared?”

“No because I’m with you two. Am I going to stay here now?”

“Yes, my baby. You’ll stay with Therese and me,” said Carol as she looked at Therese with watery eyes.

“I’m going to stay here forever with you, Rin. I got my card,” announced Therese with a wide smile.

 

> [ _Sights and sounds_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBh3sd7iYPk)   
>  [ _Pull me back down_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBh3sd7iYPk)   
>  [ _Another year_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBh3sd7iYPk)   
>  [ _I was here_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBh3sd7iYPk)   
>  [ _I was here..._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBh3sd7iYPk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My loves...I have nothing else to say but THANK YOU. Thank you for giving me and my story a chance. This was my first one. There have been many mistakes and doubts along the way but they have all thaught me a lesson. And I couldn't have done this without all your support. Thank you to each of your for commeting, for letting me know what you liked or didn't like, your worries, your feelings. To those who have always left a comment: I treasure each of them; and those who stopped, I hope you're still there reading :)
> 
> I had a different ending planned since the very beginning and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I decided to change it. The story, your story, showed me a different path. I hope this is the path you had wished for these two and I didn't let you down. I'm going to take a break from posting to focus on what little is left from university, but I'm planning on continuing this story on a second part, would you like that? 
> 
> My deepest thank you to: Beate, for supporting me right from the first draft and for sending me all those books! Ligeria, for making sure each chapter reads and flows the best way possible. Thank you for teaching me and happy holidays! Special thanks to Lane for beta reading this last one. 
> 
> This is not a goodbye... I'll read you later ♡

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading so many Carol fanfics for the past months that I decided to give it a try. This is my first time writing one, so be kind to me. All constructive criticism is more than welcome! Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Huge thanks to Beate for reading the first draft and giving me direction! Hope I won't let you down :)
> 
> PS: special thanks to Ligeria for beta reading old and new chapters. You readers deserve only the best!
> 
> Also the underlined words are links for visual reference. Check them out ;)


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